UPDATE: Umm...Why are you coming on my honeymoon?

We didn't want to give up our stand against all inclusive hotels. But after talking it over with FH, we decided to take her offer. As our wedding day draws closer, I decided I don't want to leave anything to chance. So I asked her for "check in info" as a way to see if she really made the reservation and also to get the check in info. She sent a screenshot tonight with the reservation confirmation (showing her name). So I'm at ease with that part. Lo and behold, she sends a message saying "Oh don't worry, we'll be checking in on the same day as well, so we can coordinate our arrival times or at least get there before you guys".

Hold on..WHAT???????

So I'm sitting here wondering how to approach this without sounding like a bitch.

What are your thoughts?

Are you staying in the same room/suite or just the same hotel?

Just the same hotel (at least that's what i think).

Whoa. Yeah, that's weird... But is it because she'd have to check-in because it's under her name?

Oh hell no.

My parents spent their "honeymoon" at my dad's cousin's house. The cousin was supposed to by staying with a friend nearby, and offered her house for their honeymoon.

Well she ended up coming over every single day and cooking them breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and wanted to go take them touring everywhere and would not LEAVE THEM ALONE. The entire trip was spent with her.

The only time they had alone was at night.

Do not do this. If she's already included herself in the trip by booking a hotel at the same place and same time, she will include herself in every other aspect of the trip.

You will regret this.

My mom will never let me dad live their "honeymoon" down and it's been over 25 years.

I would be annoyed IF she is expecting to make this a couples trip. But if you are in separate rooms/suites, you are definitely still able to create distance and your space for you and your FH. You could say something along the lines of, "oh, you will be there at the same time? I don't know how much we will get to see of each other though as FH and I are really hoping to focus on each other and celebrate our marriage as a couple."

No thank you! I would definitely have to let her know we just learned of some changes that require a change in our plans concerning the honeymoon and go back to plan A.

#ThatsWeird

I bet they think you'll all be getting dinner together every night at the all inclusive restaurant and going to the same events each day. Separate rooms doesn't mean a thing. You need to just politely back out, any excuse - work won't let us take time, we found a different hotel in different city on the other side of the globe we want to visit, FH's great aunt mildred is dying, whatever.

@Karen you're killing me!!! *happy cry emoji*

You've got yourself in a pickle with this one. Good luck!

My dad paid for my sister's honeymoon and then tried to invite himself along. He was talking about getting a flight together, having dinner, going on tours. He thought it would be "cool as shit". Sister and her (now) DH didn't even want to see someone they knew at the airport. They had to politely tell him to stay the hell away.

I agree with Karen. Back out now. Go to a different resort or boutique in that city but definitely avoid staying there.

They probably got some deal like BOGO rooms. I can't imagine tagging along on someone's honeymoon.

OP, you wrote, "We didn't want to go on the typical all inclusive, 4 white walls, standard room honeymoon, and our budget wouldn't allow us to get suites. We wanted the more natural, boutique style hotels that were more intimate. So a cousin who is a frequent flyer offered to give us points at an all inclusive hotel she and her husband use when they visit the honeymoon city. At first we were skeptical and stubborn. We didn't want to up our stand against all inclusive hotels. But after talking it over with FH, we decided to take her offer...*

Translation: We didn't have the funds to secure a honeymoon suite, and we don't want four white walls. A cousin GRACIOUSLY offered to give us what she earned, and that resulted in a honeymoon at an all inclusive hotel for us. Yes, we were stubborn and skeptical, but we didn't shut down the conversation. In fact, we kept the conversation going long enough until the cousin talked us into using her points for our honeymoon. That was huge since we had already taken a stand against all inclusive hotels, but we finally relented and let her give us her points. Now that we're a few weeks from our wedding, I've decided that I'm not leaving anything to chance. Guess what? These people, these point givers, want to hang around with us on the vacation they actually gave us! No go, say we, How do I approach this situation without sounding like a bitch?"

You say, "I didn't realize how deep our commitment was when it comes to taking a stand against all inclusive vacations. We know that's what you offered us, but you overstepped in making the offer. We don't want to have a few dinners or day trips with you on our honeymoon -- even if those are your points, and even if without them, we'd be sitting at home still taking a stand against all inclusive hotels. So, listen....we'll take those points, but you get one lunch with us, got it? Either that, or you can buy that Dyson DC50 Animal Compact Upright Vacuum Cleaner on our registry and take your points back. The price on the Dyson is $372.72."

Is this real? Do adults not even hear themselves?

I get that the cousin let them use their points, which is generous, but don't you find it weird that they booked the same time and want to coordinate schedules? If you decide to go OP, I suggest that you maybe grab drinks/dinner with them one day and make yourselves scarce for the rest of the trip.

I have no advice but something almost as bad happened to me. My grandma (hopefully) jokingly said she was going to 'chaperone' our honeymoon. Usually I'd laugh because it's an obvious joke, right? Yeah but I'm actually nervous because my mom recently took a vacation. She had mentioned to my grandma where she was going and she needed up getting a cabin right across from her! (Btw my moms vacation was a celebration of her 10 year wedding anniversary with my step dad). Sooo now I'm nervous.

All I got to say is, at least your grandma won't be there to 'chaperone.' (And hopefully mine won't either)

Omg Kristen M. Good luck!! I will keep my fingers crossed that you dont have a chaperone on your honeymoon! Can I say omg again?! I cant imagine! Love my Memere and miss her like crazy, but no.

@Kristen I laughed at your post. This is totally something I would totally stress over and shouldn't.

I really have nothing to add. WW I could use those emoji's you promised us right about now lol

Free = Catch 9/10

I'd get over it. Its a gift. We aren't going on a honeymoon right now. I'd go on your honeymoon too if it was free. Its not like you'll be staying in the same room. Check in and you & FH get lost for the week. Maybe have breakfast together once. Its not ideal, but if its a problem for you simply plan your original trip.

I feel for ya. My Fh and I are not going on a honeymoon due to funds... but my fmil offered to pay for a cruise, but she would be there too. We politely declined because I told FH there is ni way I am going on a honeymoon with his parents. So you can either find out what she expects with you guys being there the same time, get out of it or just deal with it and get a free honeymoon.