Upset parents

Unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do regarding how they feel, but if you and your FH want to elope, then do it. I would limit how much you discuss it with them, to avoid bringing up the hurt feelings again. And just proceed with inviting them to the small celebrations.

I am curious though if you guys considered just inviting both sets of parents to the elopement? It would appease yours and it sounds like FH's are supportive. Not saying you should have to bend to them, just curiousity.

Just like Ashlee said, you're probably never going to convince your parents not to be upset about your decision. You can try to explain however you want to them about why you're choosing to do what you are, but ultimately they're still going to feel however they choose to feel about the situation.

Your decision now is what's more important to you, having the elopement you want or appeasing your parents. Ultimately your parents will get over being upset about this. They will learn to cope and move on, but that doesnt mean you wont hear an earful about it without setting really firm boundaries surrounding wedding conversation.

The other option is you compromise the vision for you elopement that you and you fiance have by allowing them to attend. This could potentially open up a can of worms by needing to include all family and then you're stuck back at the smaller ceremony you said didnt work out earlier.

My husband and I eloped without anyone knowing except our witnesses. We are still having the full big wedding, but needed the legal part sooner for insurance reasons. Luckily, both our families were supportive (at least to our faces lol), but had they not been my philosophy has always been that our wedding is about us and no one else. It's not about our parents, our siblings, friends, whoever. If they don't like the way we've chosen to go about our relationship then that's their issue to deal with. The same thought process remains for any guests of our wedding who might find out we'll have been legally married for a year and a half and didn't announce it.

Would your parents be appeased by being your witnesses? Perhaps instead of inviting the two couples, your son, and your FH's brother, you could invite both sets of your parents and your son. I'm sure your/his parents would be happy to help with their grandchild.

I mean, is there any reasons why you can't have both parents there?

My mum is my best friend, and I have a great relationship with my in-laws and I don't think they'd ever forgive me (or me forgive myself) if I got married without either set of parents there.

I mean, unless there is some bad blood between you, I personally would just invite them.

Out of curiosity, what's the reason you've chosen those two couples as your witnesses versus perhaps your parents (or adding them)? It seems like maybe when your mom was part of the plans, that's when her well-intentioned involvement got to be overwhelming for you? If that were the case, then I can understand why you're choosing to elope without the parents and are hoping to really minimize the stress. Otherwise, I'd say just invite your parents in order to avoid potential resentment, but that's coming from someone who definitely isn't in your shoes to fully appreciate your thought process which led to your decision.