Ushers vs. Bridesmaids

TreeShade with the hard-hitting question. Because since you legitimately have OCD, we wouldn't want to let you end up triggering yourself, yes?

Just because someone tells you it's OK doesn't mean it's OK to treat them that way.

That's called conscience!

Seriously though, I'd make them bridesmaids, because this is suuuuuch a dick move.

SIL during my wedding kept saying she didnt want to stand next to me because the pictures would look weird (I'm very short, she's VERY tall).

I held her firmly there and said I wanted her next to me no matter what.

I am just following the lead of the post. Symmetry my dear Sass, symmetry.

Hi Emily. Nice to meet you too.

Right Emily?? When people like OP post it's always surprising to me how many people are rude to their nearest and dearest friends and family.

Aww Emily, you can't name call or say you're leaving. That violates the CG's! Perhaps you need to lurk more and read the new user sticky?

Right, Emily? I can't believe some people treat friends like this. /s

ETA: m beat me to it.

A bunch of rud bishes if you ask me.

Why are people saying black tie is not about attire? I just googled black tie it says " black bow tie, dinner jacket. And formal evening dress. Is there something I'm missing. This is a serious question. All is see is attire.

Hi Emily

Yea I'm going to be the adult in this situation and wish everyone the best.

I would be fine with buying a dress and standing at the door. Not everyone will be. Every wedding I've been to the BM'S helped out with things, etiquette or not! I wouldn't want the extra responsibility myself, but would still be happy to help out. I'm also OCD, clinically diagnosed, so I can understand the even number thing. It can be different for everyone.

@Lillian, thank you ! ! Black tie is ATTIRE and only ATTIRE if you were having a buffet wedding in a restaurant I would say then you wouldn't put Black Tie on your invite (its common sense) .... @Grechen, thank you as well :-) Uneven numbers makes me crazy like totally crazy. Everything has to be even! I am not sure where everyone else gets their info but I just take it for what its worth (not much) I was just looking for robes and thought it would be nice to get the ushers robes too.

Lillian, attire is a component of the entire beast that is a Black Tie affair. When you say you are having a Black Tie event, you say to your guest that they are to expect a certain standard of service which includes white glove plated service, gourmet food, valet, an extravagant venue, formal place settings, band, etc. There's a lot that goes into it and makes it a true Black Tie event. Think State Dinners and the like. Very, very formal.

FFS. "I am OCD" is not a thing. You HAVE obsessive compulsive disorder. You cannot be a disorder.

And please do not refer to the effects of the disorder as "crazy."

Indeed we are having white glove service, valet, formal place settings, gourmet foood, extravagant things at my wedding so it TOTALLY applies to MY WEDDING :-) Yay! Can't wait for everyone to come in gowns and tuxes! Oh and don't forget the security (off duty police) at the front door!

It's not only attire. You are both incorrect.

Also Emily, I'm sure the word you are looking for is "mature" and a "mature" person does stir up a thread sooooo.....

I would say where the confusion is "Black tie attire" often gets confused with "Black tie event. However, the two should occur simultaneously. For example, expecting your guest to come in black tie attire and not have a black tie event.- Big NO-NO and Vice versa.

Yes you're correct, I worded it incorrectly! Thank you! ETA: I talk about it so often it's a part of my autocorrect so I just tapped it.