Vendor wanting answers

If you want to answer her, then go ahead. She may just be trying to figure out if there was something specific that kept you from hiring her so she can improve. Or you could just ignore her.

Maybe it's not common, but I think it's commendable that she wants to know how she can improve.

I had a florist ask me a similar question. I told her I connected better with the other florist and felt she was a better fit to execute my vision.

My guess is she is looking for ways in which she can be more competitive. I wouldn't think it was weird that she asked this.

I'd probably answer and just be honest (but polite) on why you went with someone else.

Our runner up venue asked why we chose the other over them. I felt a little awkward about being asked because we truly loved the venue and the owners but it boiled down to convenience. All of our guests were from out of town and having them navigate to the church, to the reception location then a hotel was asking a lot. Our reception ended up being at the hotel.
I was honest with her that it all came down to that, but if we weren't doing a ceremony at a church we would have 100% gone with their venue.

Looking back I appreciate that they asked so they could figure out how to better serve their clients.

Yes, I’ve seen vendors do this. It’s mainly to see if there’s something that they are lacking and can do differently. Specifically with photography, it might be that they don’t have enough photos in their gallery or they don’t have the style of photos that you’re looking for, etc. So the only way to know, is to ask. I view it as being similar to a post survey. However, I do think there’s a way in which the question can be asked so that it doesn’t come off as rude.


In your case, Maybe you can simply say that you had an immediate connection with the photographer that you selected, which made you feel comfortable about having them taking photos all day at your wedding

Agree with others, that if you want to you can respond that you "selected another photographer with whom you felt a strong interpersonal connection and was an excellent match to your photography needs." If she comes back after that wanting more specifics, then I'd ghost.... I've worked in HR, there are some specifics better left unsaid. (Also, when you said, "My FH thought she was high and she barely answered our questions during the meeting and seemed to not even care," did you mean her prices were high or you believed she showed up to your appointment stoned? Holy cow!!! If that's the case, maybe she really doesn't remember why the appointment didn't go well.... :0 ) Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Lol he thought she was high as in stoned yes! . Her prices were actually lower than the photographer we did choose.

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Wow.... Well, if you give her vague feedback and she pushes for more detail, I'd be so tempted.... But, I'd probably go with, "our perception was that you seemed a bit distracted...." Yikes! LOL God love you -- I think I'd be dying to say, "REALLY???? I don't know, maybe don't come to client appointments HIGH?!?!???" (Not meaning to be judgy, just saying I wouldn't hire a vendor who came to appointments that way.)

They're probably asking to see how they can improve and book the next couple. I don't typically do this as a vendor, unless the couple was very very interested and then tells me they went with someone else. The feedback definitely helps!

I had a venue that we didn’t choose ask me why we didn’t choose them and I just never responded.

I wouldnt say it is common, but it should be. If you own a business then you should want to know why someone has decided to go in another direction and not choose you.

I think you can let her know and be honest without being rude. Whats it hurt to be straight up....its not like you will most likely see her again.

I’d answer her and be polite, but honest. She likely uses constructive criticism to improve her business.

Hi Megan! I understand that giving that direct feedback can feel awkward, but I think it's great that the photographer is asking that question! It's definitely something we would encourage our vendors to do as a good business practice.

How you respond is totally up to your own discretion! You can go super blunt, too nice, or anywhere in between. I think a good middle ground could be something like "while your pricing is really attractive, I found another photographer I really clicked with who seemed a little more invested in our plans".

If you just ghost them it's easy for any vendor to write you off as being unresponsive or not ready to make a decision, even if that wasn't why you decided not to book them!

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Love this response! It's spot-on for how I felt about a lot of my vendor choices, and it's also a polite response you can use even if there's more to the story!