Vent: Are you kidding me

FMK, I do sincerely hope you have a nice wedding. Plenty of brides here are on a budget and DIY. Weddings are expensive as shit, that's why we went to Mexico instead. Just make sure you dot your I's and cross your Ts. The last thing you want is for people to not have fun or leave early. (True stories on this board).

Also

Good grief, people. OP has said she knows her crowd and that she doesn't need a lot of alcohol. Can we stop trying to insist she buy more? Hard as it may be to believe, some people don't drink that much.

I'm just having fun with you now Mrs. King. I know you'll do what's best for your crowd.

Sheesh, @SunshineJenn. I think I have less than half a dozen posts in this thread. Why are you attacking me?

And no, I started participating in this forum after everything was done. I think I had a few questions --about fittings and timing and that was pretty much it. I didn't take anyone's advice on planning, alcohol, what dress I should buy, etc etc. I don't really know what you're asking (if you're actually asking?) but that's my answer.

At the end of the day, she knows her crowd better than anyone here. If she feels inclined to budget for a little more, I'm sure she will do that.

ETA: I'm dyslexic too, @FutureMrsKing. When I was going through special teaching in middle school, they told me about scientific support for the fact that it's actually a sign that your brain works too quickly, not a learning disability. Go us!

My budget.

@Erin

Page 1 of that bridesmaids post.

FutureMrsKing: Ok ladies , I see the point I will get creative and come up with something.

But let's continue to put her down about it.

"i only tell you 3 things then flip out that you're making opinions based on only 3 things"

as for the booze and food, until you find a new venue that is on hold anyway. some venues don't allow outside food or booze so find a new venue then worry about the rest.

I wasn't attacking you. I merely asked you a question based on your previous threads.

Omg, I WHOLE HEARTEDLY AGREE WITH ERIN C AND ANDIXLYN!!! When you post all the details that go into a bigger picture, you get responses that match THE BIGGER PICTURE. When you post just wanting ways to cut corners that don't make sense with the info that you are giving us, you get comments like "plan the wedding you can afford". I'd say sorry for "bothering you" with my comments, but I am not actually sorry. I based my comment on your posts.

@SunshineJenn: Okay. Then I projected my own tone onto your question and I do sincerely apologize for that. But I don't really see the point in bringing up old posts of mine. They're completely irrelevant to the topic we're discussing.

For the record, I also didn't know about gifts for the bridal party. Every invitation to be in someone's party I either declined or didn't happen (in school, crazy bridal party expectations like scouting locations in LA when we all live in DC, turned into an elopement) so I didn't really have any exposure to that. So last minute, I had to up my game and made some quick last minute purchases that got delivered just in time. Oh, and thank God for my MOH. She got some cute stuff for everyone, too.

This stuff isn't common knowledge, ladies. And every situation is unique.

The advice you don't want is probably the stuff that should actually get your attention, if we're being honest.

Erin, every single time someone doesn't like an opinion (or, lets be real, the truth) its an "attack". Everyone wants a sugar coated, Yeah you can totally skip serving food to your guests! Its all about you and what you want anyway! Your real friends will be there regardless!! I honestly cannot stand it.

It really comes down the language people use.

When saying things as "You need to do this" or "You don't have enough of this" it comes across as "You're wrong, I'm right." So, yes, it comes across as "attacking." Especially when the person didn't even ask for help or advice and was just answering someone's question or trying to provide more detail.

Language such as "I think you should" or "you might want to consider" or "based off of my experience" tends to come across more as "advice" or "help."

A lot of people on here are using the more commanding language.

EDIT: And when the OP explains the situation and people continue to push the subject. Yes, it comes across as "attacking."

Some of these responses I would legitimately call "bullying" or "attacking". The earlier ones.

Making fun of someone's grammar = bullying

There are major regional differences with weddings, I have noticed. She stated that she has been in two weddings and never received a bridal party gift. So maybe they just don't do that by her? Though Mrs. King, I would suggest you buy something small to be nice. Even if it's from the Dollar Tree (they have baskets, nice wine glasses and candles), you should put something together to be a nice friend.

And it's quite possible that her drinking family isn't that big into drinking! Just because they drink, doesn't mean they will get crazy drunk. Our parties go through far more alcohol than she listed she was purchasing, but that's our friends and we know that. But when I bring a bottle of wine to my mom's side of the family for a party, only half is gone out of over 2 dozen people and over 8 hours together. Although I suggest you buy more beer if your friends are more beer drinkers, you can do what you want because you know your audience, we don't. But I've heard stories of wedding running out of alcohol early on and guests tend to leave and flock to the nearest bar. It's a celebration. They want to party and have fun. They bought you an expensive gift, they are going to get some food and drinks out of it!

Also, I love this meme, so I had to add it

I could go on for days

Heidi, the assumption of people's tones is on the person reading it, not the person who wrote it. If you assume positive intent, your experience on here is much better.

Some people speak in commanding tones. The world shouldn't have to bow to the people who can't handle or don't like direct statements.

Slow clap for Sunshine Jenn...