Vent! Guests wanting to invite other guests

His girlfriend should be included in his invitation. I would say “I apologize, of course your girlfriend is invited for the entire event. I can’t believe we forgot her name on your invitation, so sorry about that! Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate your brother or any other additional guests.”

If he is not happy with his invitation, he should decline. Regardless of whether or not you have invited his girlfriend. This is a very rude question to ask of any host. I think this is one of those situations that you have to say no. "No. I am sorry, but only those invited to our ceremony should be attending our reception."

This was pretty rude of them to ask you, but significant others are typically included. If you are insistent on not including her then just tell them no, only guests invited to the ceremony are invited to the reception.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks Caytlyn. I appreciate your help and definitely understand the etiquette of inviting SOs. This guest was invited more so as the guest of FH's brother, similar to how FH's parents invited some of their close friends. Which is why we didn't extend an invitation to his girlfriend, because we had to prioritize our family and other friends' long-term relationships for our guest list. I'm not saying it's the right way, but it's just what we had to do for our budget and our guest list priorities... as insensitive as that may sound.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for not judging the decision we had to make regarding our guest list. I didn't mention the reason why we didn't invite his girlfriend in my original post, but did explain our reasoning in my response to Caytlyn. I do like the way you worded the response and have forwarded it to FH to see if he wants to respond with that.

View Quoted Comment

Totally understand significant others are usually included and we have made the effort to include everyone on our guest list who was in a relationship at the time of our engagement. We thought it was a reasonable criteria for us, seeing as we just have a short engagement and had only been engaged for less than 3 months at the time we sent out our invitations. In my response to Caytlyn, I explained the main reason (out of a few other reasons) why we ultimately chose not to include his girlfriend on our guest list. Thank you for your help!

View Quoted Comment

I understand. It'd be nice if we could invite everyone, but it's not possible. He received an invitation and if the circumstances don't suit him, he should simply decline. I hope it works out for you! Try not to stress!

We certainly do not need to be inviting his girlfriend and do not believe it was rude of us not to invite her. We did our research and consulted multiple sources and the general consensus that traditionally only married, engaged, or cohabitating guests are required an invite. We took it a step further and invited all significant others who were in a relationship at the time of our engagement (late December 2018). And then we took into consideration how many guests he/she will know and talk to at our wedding and whether we should offer them a guest to help them feel comfortable. We feel we were very accommodating with our plus ones, but we do not have the budget to accommodate everybody's latest girlfriend or boyfriend. If that means some guests will decline to attend, so be it.

You can say do to limited space and full list of guest we are unable to accommodate any additional people at this time.....

Why should she be inviting the girlfriend? she a GF not a SIL to be or his wife thats wasting space on someone who may not be in the picture come event time anyway.

View Quoted Comment

I completely agree partially because I'm doing the same thing but pushing it a little further to married couples only we don't have space and budget for the latest and greatest boo in peoples lives

You could say “Unfortunately our guest list for both the ceremony and the reception has been finalized with our venue and we cannot add any more people.”
Also sorry that people are giving you grief for who you are choosing to invite or not invite to your wedding. It’s your day, you totally have the right to do what you want.

That’s easy, “No.”

His girlfriend should be included. All significant others should. But his brother isn't necessary. I'd just say your venue has a max capacity and you can't invite anymore.

View Quoted Comment

Haha, that's exactly what I told FH to say. He wanted to be a bit more gentle about it.

View Quoted Comment

Totally understand. I started off saying just married or engaged couples too but then as we started to make exceptions here and there, eventually we ended up trying to accommodate many more SOs because of numerous reasons (we've met and hung out with their bf/gf on several occasions, they're about to move in together, they're planning to propose soon, they've been in a relationship for many years, etc.). Whatever your choice is, it's YOUR choice. Maybe stick to your guns though unless you want it to get out of control like mine did haha

If I'm not close enough with someone to know their SO, I'm not inviting that person in the first place. I don't want people I barely talk to at my wedding.

View Quoted Comment

Just because you don't believe it is rude, doesn't mean it's not rude. It is. Significant others are not a "plus one" and should be invited as a unit in all cases, period. This was your mistake, and I would absolutely allow him to bring to his girlfriend. Single guests do not need a plus one and you are under no obligation to invite them with one. Totally fine to say no to your friend's rude request to bring his brother.

View Quoted Comment

Because you invite couples as a unit. A significant other is not a "plus one".

View Quoted Comment

Thanks, girl! I should've known better than to mention the girlfriend because a lot of people on WW can't see past the "taboo" subject of not inviting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some people don't understand that inviting guests is not a one rule fits all and there's more than one factor to consider other than whether they're in a relationship or not.