Venting 1.2.3.4

We sat down and split up tasks near the beginning. He made it clear he did NOT want to spend hours looking at decor ideas on Pinterest, picking stationary, picking florals etc, and I live for that so it’s worked out.

He is very handy, so when I’ve decided on decor items he has helped with the DIY process. Building, staining, painting and bringing my ideas to life. Also helps me with hashing through logistics for some of my more outlandish ideas and telling me no when I’m trying to take on too much.

I found most of our vendors, but he wanted to take charge with the music and did a lot of work toward finding our venue. Also once each vendor was whittled down to final choices we talked through the options together before making the final decision.
He has also handled everything dealing with the groomsmen. He chose his and their outfits (with my final approval), gifts, bachelor party etc. He is also responsible for primary communication with his family, including obtaining and applying any financial contributions they have volunteered to the designated vendors.
Long post to say we talked at the beginning about big things that needed to be done and he took charge of some of them. Then throughout the process we have made lists of thing that need to be accomplished and split the tasks up based on our individual leanings and talents. When those tasks are near complete we run them by each other before things are final. Clear communication about specific tasks he could help with was very important and gave him direction as well as freedom to be creative. Also, while pouring over 100 pages of different invitations together would’ve been utter misery, me picking 5 and together deciding between those was no problem.
Everyone is different, but this has been our process!

I am the planner for sure!! I am really scheduled and do lists for literally anything. FH is the hands on builder- he is building our arch, FFIL is building our bench for our “guest book” and building the cornhole. FH will also come to all physical meetings with me and obviously have input but typically his input is “that idea sounds awesome, I love it”. We are very easy going people and he knows I plan and get stuff done, he goes along with those things. 🙂

View Quoted Comment Thank you lmap.i was soo confused about his roles lmaoo but he is good tookk some task off my hands beer's and rides for the grooms and bridesmaid ect...

I asked my fiancé what he wanted to be involved with and we took it from there. He agreed with my vision so I’m in charge of finding everything cause I wanna be haha but if I need help I ask him. My maid of honor is also helping us because she’s a planner so I’m so sorry your bridesmaids are no help. Let them know (your fiancé and your bridesmaids) that you’re overwhelmed. Your bridesmaids could help with decorations if you’re doing DIY or something like that. Don't pressure them but see if they’re willing. And tell your fiancé you need help.

It depends on your relationship. I was the planner but we did discuss what we wanted for our wedding. For example invitations, I had chosen a couple and he told Also he helped helped pay for alot of stuff and he went to the venue with me to check it out. We discussed tuxes for him and the the guys. He was was opened minded about alot stuff.

I’ve given my fiancé the responsibility of agreeing with everything I like 🤷🏼‍♀️

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This. And if he cannot, he must pay for a planner.

I am the planner and keeper of the budget, calendars, and fetus. I actually only like the planning. My FH has a very specific vision, and I keep him within the budget. You actually don't want a consensus on everything! I hate to tell my man no, but I do because I refuse to feel guilty. I have to plan for our future beyond this one day. So ultimately, he and a hired planner will execute this wedding. Once I let go of the burden, I became freer creatively and am now adding personal touches. It will get better!

By the way, we're wedding twins! Yeah! I'll be sending you well wishes from New York.

I am the planner, he is definitely not. I am also obsessed with details, he is not. Sometimes I have a hard time delegating.


When we had to make decisions, I would usually give him options to chose from. Most things we decided together. He was responsible for the food. He helped a little with some of my DIY stuff. I would give him a list with what to do and he did it. Because I was the master planner of out wedding, I needed to figure out how he could help and then we discussed together how he could help.

For invitations e.g. you could ask him to pick out his three favorite ones from a website you like. Or ask him to do research which site has best price etc. My fiancé also typed put all addresses and printed address labels and helped with putting the invitations in envelopes and mailing them.

Play to your strengths. I highly recommend a detailed checklist and sit down together one evening and decide who can take on what.

My husband is in charge of the DJ and alcohol. He found and hired both of those vendors. He even hired the photographer for our engagement photos. He also has helped me pay for food and etc.

I'm pretty much planning everything, I ask my fiancé what he likes from time to time and he give his input. Food and drink is what is most important to him so he picked the packages and we created the menu together. I booked the photographer, the florist and the venue (thankfully he loved the venue too) but otherwise he really isn't helping.