Venue Cancelled All 2020 Weddings

I honestly really want someone else to make the call. In our hearts we know it is not realistic or safe for us to still have our event, but we feel a lot of pressure to not make the wrong decision and don't want to let people down. We have friends who are so excited for some good news and a reason to celebrate, but we don't want to put anyone at risk. If our venue or government decides for us then the weight of that decision doesn't all have to fall on us.

We will likely do something small and then try to have an event similar to what we planned at a later date, most likely not until 2021 or later. I would really like to have the wedding we planned but feel like waiting a year to be married without any confidence that it will happen the way we planned would be torture. I feel like at least if we are married, we have that and can move on with parts of our lives, and it will make waiting for the party more bearable. Once we are married it really won't matter to me as much if we have to wait a full year, or two full years, or more to have the big party we planned. I really don't want to miss out on years of marriage for the entirety of this pandemic until life goes back to normal.

We've already invested a lot of time and money into planning and really don't want that to go to waste, but also feel a little bit over the whole thing. If we could get a 100% refund from all of our vendors we would probably take it and be done with it, but none of our deposits are refundable so postponing is really the only option for recouping any value from the money we have already spent.

I definitely feel the "I'm just done" emotions you are experiencing, and also the back-and-forth about wanting to have it over with and still holding onto the vision we originally had. It's hard.