Venues vs Fh!!

My husband was kind of like that when we first started planning. I just started showing him that places I was asking were already booked and that if he wanted to get married within the year we talked about, we'd have to book a venue ASAP. The other option I gave him was postponing. As soon as I said that he started to understand why I felt like we needed to pick a venue immediately.

I was in a similar boat in not knowing availability and cost of venues. We were looking for simple venues within a smaller price range. We first thought we could get married in the Spring of 2023 until we started visiting the venues in person and realizing the ones available on that short time frame were not venues for us. At the time, we didn't have an exact date yet and were strictly "looking", as in, I didn't even have a ring!

It wasn't until we visited some really cool venues, more in line with our style and vibe, that were already booking past 2023 and filling up for fall, that we realized we should push back our date and book what we loved.

BUT, all that said, FH was very much on board with researching and visiting each location. He was very picky on certain details and aspects down to parking, ceremony to reception location, room size, etc.

My advice is to him invested in selecting the venue in someway, if only to see the struggle is real! You are 100% that the venue is #1 priority. Good luck!

Ooh, you don't have a wedding until you have a date, and that often is determined by venue availability. If you want a Saturday wedding, better to book the sooner the better as spring/ fall 2023 are heavy wedding seasons.

I will probably have to do this ... but find venues that look really good and find out if they are available. If not, show them to fiancé as ones you love but are unavailable now. That might drive the point home.

I definitely had that issue with my fiancé at first. We were engaged in January of 2020 and planned to get married in October of 2021. He didn't want to plan anything until we finished school, took the bar exam, had jobs, etc., and he didn't see an issue with that since we had almost 2 years to plan. I told him we needed to at least book our church and reception venue so we'd have a hold on those. I think he started to get it when the venue he really liked was already booked into 2022.

I'd show your fiancé that venues within your budget are booking up so he can see that this is something that needs to get done ASAP. Another helpful way to convey that is that vendors like photographers are able to travel, so even if ALL the photographers in the immediate area get booked, you could look outside of that area, whereas venues have ONE space, so if you want the wedding in a certain spot, there are a finite number of options. Another point is that vendors like florists or bakers are able to handle multiple weddings on the same date, but venues can only accommodate ONE wedding per evening.

View Quoted Comment That's a good idea. We temporarily work opposite shifts and really only get like a day and a half to spend together. I seem to be the one looking harder for venues so I normally find them and show them to him and he's always hesitant. Lol so maybe I'll just show him all the emails I've sent out and all the replies showing they are booked lol

View Quoted Comment I did talk to him more about it this weekend and he just now told me he's been holding back because he's been waiting to talk to one of his family members about using their land for our ceremony and reception. I was like noooooow you tell me hahaha I've been stressing thinking he was changing his mind or wanted to push it back or whatever. Nope just me overthinking and stressing haha

View Quoted Comment We have a date. Just hoping we can find a venue with our date. I'm really trying not to push it back any or have it sooner. I always thought the heavy wedding season was spring/early summer last time I planned a wedding (my mother's) we had a hard time finding anything in July, but tons of openings in the fall. Now it seems to be reversed hahaha go figure.

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Haha! That's such typical guy behavior... leave you stressing and not saying anything about having his own idea. Glad you were able to talk and get some clarity!!

View Quoted Comment While this might seem like a good idea, I would advise him that going that route means you have to rent the tables, chairs, linens, dance floor, tents, enough portable bathrooms for guests to use and not wait on the few on property, etc. if can become more expensive and stressful oftentimes.


I highly recommend all-inclusive venues. Ours came with the tables, chairs, linens, dance floor, valet, security, drinks, wait staff, and they owned a restaurant so you could choose their food and get half off the venue fee. It saved us for on having to arrange so many more vendors.
Glad it wasn’t that he was resistant to getting on the ball with planning though! Best of luck and congratulations! 😊