Very Sad Bride To Be ...not Sure What To Do...

I think you need to be upfront with him. Yes, his children are important, but so are you. If he wants to get married, he needs to also spend time on his wedding to you and your lives together.

I agree with Hannah. You’re marrying him, and he needs to act like it. Sure his daughter getting married is a big deal, but so are you! He chose you! He needs to act like it. Talk to him, explain how you are feeling.

Like PP said... Have a chat with him sit him down talk about what you want and how you are feeling... Sometimes men can't be fully aware of our feelings. Good luck

View Quoted Comment I have so many times talked and talked. But he is set on going .

View Quoted Comment I am so so very sorry this must be hell for you... At this point I wouldn't know what to say, since he is focusing more on his children, and I fully understand they are his children, I'm at a loss... Maybe counseling would help you if both of you are willing but then again if he doesn't see there is something wrong then he might not want to attend. But maybe you should try?

View Quoted Comment I've tried to explain to him my heart my feels...that I'm important...he has noticed I'm so so sad ...my eyes are glossy from hurting so much ...this is my first really wedding. This is his second. He knows this is such an important beautiful moment for me for us...his daughter is also making this hard...all he talks about is his daughters wedding...when we had food tasting for the dinner all he dod was talk about her, when we chose our wedding bands he was more interested in getting his son a gold chain. Three times we made arrangements for cake tasting . I thought this would be a fun thing to do . Rather we cancelled it three times he wanted to spend time with his kids and me tag along

Maybe he does not want a big wedding. He may just want a small wedding. Have you two sat down and talked about what kind of wedding you two want?

I agree with what Lisbeth and CDickman said. Try talking out your wedding vision together, and maybe go to counseling. I would be concerned because this should be important to him too. I get that it’s his second wedding, but he should want to make you feel excited too.

View Quoted Comment I was so excited about e everything at the beginning. Creating my own decorations , even the veil representing a whole story about our specials things we like ..all embroide, so many niceties special incorperations of my heart...but now my heart isn't in it all all

View Quoted Comment He wanted a big wedding.
We were suppose to have it where we live now , but his daughter dodnt want to come to the wedding claiming she would have to drove 6 hours and take time off work and she couldn't cause she has to prepare for her wedding .
Having ot back at where hes from je decoded to invite everyone from his family expressing when else is there a time that everyone will be together again. So this wedding is about everyone. Yhr honeymoon for me was about me and hom together and not have to worry about racing her and there and everywhere which of what we alsways do

We have spoken about what we wanted for the wedding. Though now that we are doing this wedding at his home town so that everyone is invited from his family it is big.

You need to sit down and talk to him about his priorities. I agree that counseling may be a good option. Another option, if his daughter's wedding seems to be his primary focus, just letting that happen and postponing your wedding until after hers so he can focus on you and you alone? I know that isn't the ideal, but he can't use the excuse of his daughter's wedding if its over!

Everything is played for though and it's not that easy to pospose with the line of work we are in. Not to mention there never will be a right time to reshedual cause his daughter will make sure to make everything about her her and her only . Expampe if we chose another time , she may say she cant make it caise they are going away, or they are having a baby or something will come up to make it about her her and her ....I've tried to tell him how I feel and expressed considering the thought of having a honeymoon later ...when does later hallen in the cold of winters middle season. Hes not a winter person so we would stay on the hotel room all the time we would be there. This was what our honey moon was hotel view over looking the late with 4 passes to vineyards and and shops a tour of an old castle, a choclate factory and free breakfast every mornnig with 4 dinners included...but that wont happen. And not to mention hes the one whom wanted the honey moon there. Bit ofcourse all changes because f hos daughter...

Then you gotta put your foot down. Either he needs to make an effort to show that you are important to him or you need re-examine this relationship because it seems like you will always be second fiddle to his daughter. He needs to figure out where his priorities are because what he is doing is not ok.

View Quoted Comment I get that his daughter and myself will never be friends sort of speak. She doesnt like me and I have tried and tried to be nice and she has do nothing bit step on my feet . As I told him tonight which has actually a topic of discussion, that now when I see his daughter my guard is up.
She even actually y had the nerve to ask him if her mom which is his ex wife and her natural dad , because she was adopted by the man I'm to marry if they could be invited to the wedding
When we all do go places together she always males sure to alienate me from conversations, or to ask him what she could do for his wedding.

View Quoted Comment It's her wedding and if she wants her mom and bio dad there you just have to take a back seat on that one and go along with it. Then you need to talk to your FH about not feeling included in conversations. Separate and apart from that, I agree that what he's doing is wrong and that perhaps counseling can help but only if he wants it to will it work. This is a fundamental issue in your relationship. If he's not willing to work at it and see it through your eyes, you're right. You will be always play second fiddle to her. Kids are supposed to come first up to a point and this is far past that point. I fear that if you go through with this without his even trying to understand your side, nothing will get better and you'll be stuck rehashing the same issues forever. You have to give him the chance to fix it and if he doesn't, you need to determine when you've had enough and move on without him.

Your man sounds selfish. There is a way to make positive of both weddings and celebrate both brides. Straighten him out.

View Quoted Comment She wants to invite her mom and boo dad to pur wedding

View Quoted Comment I've spoken to him so many times about it . I give up . He dorsnt understand how I feel . But he is determined to go to his daughters stag and because as he says its only once in her life ...as I told him our honeymoon only happens once as well. At this point in time the beauty of us going away has been taken away and I really don't care if we go . I'm also at this point of rsshedialing our wedding to whenever ...because obviously this year it's all about her....last week a friend from out west came over. Woth his bright charm expressed...I hear there is a rumour of a wedding.
I was about to answer ...though he beat me to it...my boyfriend expressed yes my daughter is getting married. His friend answered no no that is not the rumor I ocer heard. So he asked about our wedding and all the boyforend could do was blah blah blah about his daughters wedding....omg....

View Quoted Comment This isn’t ok. You need to at the very least postpone if not cancel your wedding. It’s perfectly acceptable for a father to be excited about his daughter’s wedding. It’s not acceptable for him to put you, your wedding to him, and your honeymoon on the back burner because his daughter is also getting married this year. When people show you who they are, believe them. Your FH isn’t acting like you matter at all.