My fiancé comes from a very privileged background. His dad is an extremely successful multimillionaire and considered top 1% based on his income/net-worth. His mother was able to not work because of the wealth. My fiancé (alongside his sibling) has gone to elite private schools growing up that were more per year than my university graduate degree programs.
His parents live in a multimillion dollar mansion in Malibu, CA. His mom buys million dollar agriculture land as a hobby, and they have multiple properties throughout the country.
As a starter home and to begin equity, his father bought my fiancé a $1.8 million dollar house. A STARTER home. He also has no college debt since it was obviously all paid for. Every month, his dad also puts $25,000 in my fiancé secured trust fund account to generate wealth.
On top of that, his father will irrationally buy large expenses for me that makes me feel so awkward on accepting them. He has purchased Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags for me and casually hands me these gift boxes despite never asking. I don’t even care for luxury brand.
Just the other day on an outing we entered a boutique. To appear polite, I so very casually said “oh that’s nice” to a dress his dad showed me that I didn’t even truly want. Immediately he dropped $1000 to buy it for me. Even when I begged & begged him not to!
As for me? Inner city public school child, low socioeconomic background, community college because I didn’t have the financial resources to take college prep, struggling low education working parents. I met my fiancé online as there was no way our paths would’ve ever crossed.
And yet….Despite all this…no generous offer or interest from either of his parents to help with our wedding nor anything related to it. His mom said to me “it’s just one day, my love” after I showed stress with how expensive it all is and how we’re cutting corners. It is true. It’s one day…but obviously it’s not any ol’ ordinary day otherwise we all wouldn’t be here, right?
My fiancé and I are splitting it, and when 50% is coming from me and I do not have substantial wealth to begin with….well I can only go so high on my end of the deal. We’re having very little floral, no lighting package, and a hand me down dress as is. My future husband is fine with all this saying all he wants is to just get married to me at the end of the day.
My parents, with their very little fortune, insisted to give us $20,000 from their life long savings. Even my fiancé laughed and said “$20,000 is nothing for my dad” after asking if it was possible for his parents to match it if he asked.
However my fiancé doesn’t want to ask his parents. He feels it’s wrong.
When I discuss the stress of the costs to his parents, they just look and listen. There’s simply no way to even ask for financial support. It would be so awkward and rude. I just lay out the foundation to see if they would like to get involved, but they do not bite or care to offer. They just listen and sympathize it’s one day.
All my cousins and siblings had both sides willingly contribute and it was such a lovely time. I just don’t understand with their large generosity for everything else they won’t contribute for this.
I just feel like this whole ordeal would cross anyone’s mind.
It sucks.
That’s all.
