Vietnamese Wedding Traditions

I'm not one to say, "what does your FH think?" but I think that he could be the expert on what would make his mother feel welcome/included/respected.

Their relationship is pretty complicated - it's not like they are super traditional in any sense, American or Vietnamese. He doesn't even speak Vietnamese b/c she was too busy to teach him as a single mom. Just trying to think of something cute to do that only SHE would really get. Her marriage to his step-dad was def American.

Well, that is sweet of you. Maybe there's some kind of tradition that you can actually perform during the ceremony, something like the rose exchange (giving the mother's roses during the ceremony) but a Vietnamese tradition instead.

Thinking of buying her a new Ao Dai (traditional vietnamese dress) since all of hers are basically hand-me-downs

Tea ceremony.

My SIL is Vietnamese. They did the tea ceremony during the reception and changed into traditional Vietnamese wedding outfits halfway through the reception. They also did one of the readings in Vietnamese.

Thanks! The tea ceremony is what I kept finding online, too!

We are doing a tea ceremony incorporated into the western ceremony. Instead of a sand or candle ceremony, we would be serving tea to our parents. We are also wearing ao dai for table visits.

As well has having Saigon, Heineken, and 33 beers!

@Tina, *I* was also thinking about doing a tea ceremony instead of a sand/candle ceremony too! I like the idea of doing the tea ceremony during the reception, but I would much rather have the reception be a party.

@nolalishak, a roast pig is also common to Vietnamese ceremonies (the tea ceremony is actually the wedding ceremony, to my understanding)... but I think your idea of buying her a new ao dai would be so meaninful and thoughtful of you!

I think another idea you could do is honoring you and your FI's ancestors during the ceremony, that is also that is culturally Vietnamese.

Hi @nolalishak! After reading the string of comments so far, I agree that buying or tailoring your FMIL a custom Vietnamese traditional dress aka ao dai (ow zye) would be very thoughtful of you! Most ao dai's are made-to-measure. She can choose to either wear it to the ceremony or to the reception. Most Vietnamese moms prefer to wear it to the ceremony bcs it's very form fitting and they'd rather be relaxed during the reception. Next, subbing the unity sand/candle portion with the serving of tea to parents is totally doable with some extra planning and as long as the ceremony isn't in a place of worship. Since your future Mr doesn't speak Vietnamese, doing anything traditional like a formal tea ceremony could be uncomfortable for him simply from the language barrier. There are so many formalities and details! One of the simplest Vietnamese wedding traditions is table greeting where you go table to table thanking your guests. That instance would allow you the opportunity to also wear an ao dai and an ao gam (male version of the ao dai) for him. If table greeting is not likely, may I suggest wearing it to cut your cake? Then you can change again to party! My husband and I are both Vietnamese, were married in 2012 and he did not wear an ao gam! Nope! We did an engagement tea ceremony 3 mos before the wedding date, but not the morning of (I didn't hear the end of that one for awhile haha). Our wedding inspired my Viet Bridal Blog and I invite you to check it out in case you have any other questions: http://matronofstyle.com I hope my response helped.