Vows-to share or not to share?

We are writing our own vows as well. I think I will share them with my bridal party before hand for feedback and just to say it outloud to another person first but thats about it.

That’s a good point! I hadn’t thought about this yet but I will probably say them to my sister (who is my MOH) or my mom to practice before the wedding. My FH and I talked about telling each other how long they are (like word count) so we can make sure that they are roughly the same length and one of us doesn’t talk waaaay longer than the other, lol. (Which could realistically happen because he’s really talkative and I’m more quiet)

Do you have any suggestions on how to write your vows? My fiancé and I will be writing ours, our wedding is June 2. Im sure I will share mine with my MOH and Mom just to make sure they all make sense.

I will probably send mine to the officiant before the wedding, but I won't be sharing mine with anyone else.

I only shared with my H. I didn't think if sharing with others, but don't think it's a bad idea to do so.

We shared only with our officiant. She was our objective judge on whether or not the length was similar, and whether the general tone was similar.

I wouldn't have shared with friends or family, because the vows felt very personal between my H and I and I didn't really want any one else's feedback.

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I'm just getting started with mine but I have a basic plan in mind. I want to talk about what the relationship means to me and the promises I want to make to my future hubby. I have a couple of quotes I want to throw in and I want to make sure I mix a little humor in too! I keep a little notebook and when I think of a line or something I want to ponder on, I write it down so I'll have it all in one place when I sit down to write them.

View Quoted Comment WW has some articles on how to do it, and I also searched MarthaStewartWeddings.com to look up vow structure and prompts. The vow structure I followed was:
1. Beginning-a few lines total on feelings/thought when first met/relationship began/knew fell in love
2.Middle-7 vows/promises; I alternated between using vow and promise. I read to use 8 lines of vows/promises, but my favorite number is 7, got married on the 7th, so kept it to 7 lines
3.End-Hopes/aspirations/looking forward to in the future with my H

View Quoted Comment Oh the other thing I made sure to do was to only write 3 drafts, and remember to put I love you in my vows because I read that's left out of most vows. I also made sure to have a couple funny vows that related to my relationship.

This is a question I had. I am not sure as I really dont want anyone to know them before the day but I value my MOH opinion so maybe her

We are writing our own vows, but exchanging them privately.....cause my guy is pretty convinced he won't be able to stand up there and speak much due to his tears, and he doesn't want everyone to see him "blubber like a baby" as he puts it! haha! We will say vows of course (I found some I really like), but the intensely emotional ones we will only share with each other.

We wrote some of ours and didn't share them with each other or anyone (but, of course, we wrote them the night before, lol - I do not recommend this! So stressful!! It was all DH's idea!!) but if you want advice but don't want to share with anyone who knows you, we might be able to help

Definitely recommend not leaving it until the last minute. I started researching vows a couple months before my wedding.

If you do want feedback on your vows, it might be good for you and your partner to share them (spearately) with your celebrant/officiant since they are a generally neutral third party. And depending on how comfortable/practiced you and your partner are with writing of this type, the celebrant can be a great eye if you want to make sure your vows compliment each other well (for example one not being several minutes long and the other only a few short profound and heartfelt lines). But it all depends on what you think is best. Maybe your partner could give the best feedback, or a sister, or an uncle or whoever. Good luck!

We shared ours with our officiant. He gave us some small suggestions on wording and sentence structure so that our vows were about the same length and flowed similarly.

I will definitely share with someone. Most likely my MOH. Maybe my mom. Possibly even with FH. We aren't good at super sentimental statements, especially in front of an audience, and I would definitely end up saying something ridiculous if left to my own devices.

Good question! And what are people's thoughts about saying them privately versus in the ceremony? I've seen it a couple of different ways. We will be sharing our vows with our wedding planner to make sure they are about the same length and such.

View Quoted Comment I think, "Then what's the point of self written vows?" I thought vows were the promises made to the other in front of family and friends. Maybe exchange letters instead?

View Quoted Comment No problem sharing with group but I honestly don't think I could get through them without sobbing. I've seen other couples share theirs while holding hands but can't see each other and it looks precious.

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Thank you so much for sharing this! I've been trying to think of ways to do our vows and this outline is just what I needed!