Vows

Either one can be a good idea. It just depends on your preference and your FI’s.

It’s really personal preference. I would discuss it with your fiancé and see what their feelings are on the matter. If you are both confident in your writing and public speaking skills, and you both want to write personal vows, then it would be a great option! A lot of people don’t feel comfortable speaking in front of others, or sharing their personal feelings/writings; so those people probably wouldn’t enjoy writing their own vows. If that’s the case, you could always write eachother letters to read privately before or after the wedding. Or just choose to do standard “repeat after me” vows, or the simple “I do’s”

We're doing both. We will each do personal vows to each other, but then do the traditional "repeat after me" vows since my FH wants the tradition and formality of it. It really boils down to what the two of you want.

My fiancé and I are doing both. We’re going to have a private reading of our vows before the ceremony (just him and I alone). And then during the ceremony we’d say the standard traditional vows. We want to do private vows for personal matters that we’ve gone through together that are very emotional so we can get any tears out before we’re in front of people 😂

View Quoted Comment My fiance doesn't want want to do our vows but I do bc we've been thru a lot. He wants to do the traditional vows but I think I'm at least going to tell him how I feel before or during the reception. When they do the toasts.

We have decided to write our own and we are keeping them secret from each other until the day of the wedding

I said this in another "vow" post: a vow is defined (by Merriam-Webster) as a solemn promise to do something. It is what makes marriage a binding contract, a commitment. It's not a proclamation of love, opinion or intent. I favor traditional vows because they encompass what the couple is promising to do, and they should be promising the same things: to love, honor, cherish and be together always despite whatever life brings, good or bad. I also favor them because they are easy to remember and recite, especially when prompted by the officiant, in a setting filled with many emotions and many onlookers. I also don't think they should be secret - you both should know what kind of a commitment you are making to eachother and it should be the same for both. For example, how would it be if one of you vows to be faithful, and the other doesn't, or one of you won't commit for life.