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Just Said Yes July 2022

Vulnerability

Herissa, on October 25, 2022 at 1:12 PM Posted in Married Life 0 3

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Hello, I’m looking for advice on how to be more vulnerable especially with my husband.
Being able to open up and be vulnerable is something that is extremely hard for me. And when I can’t open up I shut down and by that I’m mean when something is on my mind and bothering me and I can’t talk about I get quiet. And my husband doesn’t get it. Sometimes it’s in the tip of my tongue to be open and express my feelings but it’s physically impossible for me to do. And I feel like my husband doesn’t understand me and that causes problems. He wants me to open up when something is going but no matter or many time I explain how hard it is for me to do so he thinks that I’m doing it on purpose. I understand that he wants me to open up. He’s a great husband. I just feel like sometimes he just doesn’t get me. And I feel guilty for being this way.
Open to any suggestions and advice.

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on October 26, 2022 at 7:24 AM

Rockstar October 2023
Michael · on October 25, 2022 at 1:47 PM
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It may help to have another person help get the common understanding between you and your husband on how you respond to things that bother you -- maybe a friend, family, or counseling. It is not rare for people to cut off communications and withdrawal when troubled by thoughts. Maybe there is even something on the internet that will help explain to him why you become quiet. He may need a sense of how to respond rather than just thinking it is on purpose.
Hoping the best for you two.
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Expert October 2018
Janet · on October 25, 2022 at 4:45 PM
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I think this is above WW paygrade. You probably need to go to a professional and have some sessions with you both present and then some one on one. If this has been an issue your whole life, it will not be undone with some input from internet strangers. It will take time and patience from both of you.
Good luck to you both!
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on October 26, 2022 at 7:24 AM
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Try journaling to sort out your own thoughts for yourself. This is for your eyes alone. If you just got married and are now living together for the first time, it's best you both be patient with the changes. Neither of you can read each other's minds nor should expect the other to. If communication doesn't improve with time, seek a couple's counselor to find ways to speak to each other.
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