Walking down the aisle for the 2nd time

I am 47 and this is both of our second marriages bt our firsts to one another....I was originally going to have my youngest son who is 17 walk with me down the asile....my mom assd away 8 yrs ago, but my fathers new wife told me that my father really wanted to walk me down the aisle.....

We of course are paying for the affair.....but I felt obliged....my father is 70 yrs old, how do I say no....but we did asked the reverend not to ask who gives this bride away.....I was given away a long time ago!!! lol It is for show only.....

I look at it this way...I only have one father and thank god he is still alive.....if it is that important to him...so be it.....

my son was thrilled........

Oh and we are NOT having a father daughter dance .......

CWTBAW,

Bless your generous and kind heart. What a beautiful memory to give your aging fa

My dad died a few years ago. I am 45 but would be thrilled if he was here to have him walk me. They won't be around forever and it is a nice memory to have.

When I officiate at weddings, I don't ask "Who gives..." Instead I ask, "Who stands with this woman/man to represent the traditions and family out of which she/he comes?" Then family members answer "I/we do."

You can walk by yourself; with FH; with 1 or both parents; with your children -- whatever suits your situation.

Guess i'll have to have a heart to heart with my pops. You guys haven given me lots of options to consider. I definitely won't rule anything out yet, until after I discuss it with him.

@June...Yes, as much as I dislike the "giving away" and the "Daddy's Little Girl" dance, I will go with it, because it means that much to him. His generation of Italian men did not get divorced, period. But then again, his generation probably didn't cheat on pregnant wives. In many ways, my father is ashamed of me.

@Suzanne and Wendy....I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. I love he empty chair idea. We were going to do that for my sister, but felt we could honor her better with her goddaughter(my 16 year old)playing Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" on the acoustic guitar.

You know it is funny. Nicole said she came here first. It is amazing how easy it is to get advice from perfect strangers.

Thanks ladies!

I think its whatever you feel comfortable with. My father will not be attending my wedding but my 9 year old will be walking me down the aisle.

I'm in the same boat with Karen, this is my second marriage but first wedding. I got married in a court house when I was 20, not for any other reason than because I was stupid (we didn't do it because we were pregnant or anything like that.) FH and I have discussed going the Jewish tradition route. I am also a feminist and the whole giving away thing just rubs me the wrong way but then on the other hand, I am a daddy's girl and a bit sappy, too. lol. I guess when it comes down to walking down the isle with my dad, it's not so much him giving me away as it is just taking a walk with me. I don't know if that makes sense lol. He didn't get to walk anywhere with me the first time. On the one hand the feminist in me is like grr, but then on the other hand, I want the tradition stuff, the big dress, the cake, the first dance, the father daughter dance, etc. as well.

I will be ESCORTED down the aisle, not taken to be "given away" like a piece of property (which brides were in ancient times). I am not going to have the question about "Who gives this woman...?" If they dared to ask that I would blurt out: "NO ONE! I'm not a sack of meat!"

Sometimes now in modern ceremonies, they ask who blesses this union. I'm not certain if I will even allow that to be asked. Will talk it over with my officiant.

.

My escort is a dear friend that I have adopted like a brother and he will steady me as I walk in those high heels and hopefully not trip over the gown. :-)

.

So, I think it would be great to allow your father to ESCORT you to the altar.

You could come up with a couple ideas that you like and then talk to your dad and ask him about it. Tell him that you know this is your second time around and were thinking about a couple different options. Let him help you decide (unless you have your heart set on only one option) and if you see that he REALLY just wants to walk you down the aisle again, you can consider that in the mix.

And instead of having your officiant ask who gives you away (aren't we past the days of being property?), you can have them ask who blesses this union. The parents (and even friends or other family) could ring in and say that they all do.

We're getting hung up on the "giving away" the bride part of this tradition? Things change.. How many brides today should wear white or a blushing veil? Knowing the stats, I'm going to say not too many, and honestly I'm not ashamed to say, "I've already had sex!" My female guests will likely be ushered to their seats. A courtesy a gentleman shows to a woman, as a feminist, should I nix that too? I'm looking at my father walking me down the aisle, even if it is the second time, as a show of support and love. Originally, I had many of the same ideas expressed in other posts here. I thought, I'm a grown woman; I've done this once before, I'm not chattel to be given away. I thought walking alone would symbolize my independence. All that said, a marriage is a joining of family,and friends. You build a support system to get through the many things life will throw at you. My dad is part of our support system, and I'm happy to have him walk me into this new phase of our lives.

Im getting married again. this would be my second wedding. And my dad passed away. Would it be weird to have both my sons walk me down the aisle.

All - great advice - thank you so much.

For my first wedding, I had my step-dad walk me halfway, shake hands with my biological dad, then my biological dad walked me the rest of the way. 15 years later, planning my second wedding, I really like the idea of my FH and I walking together,

I have a nasty dilemma. My daughter is getting married summer 2021. I divorced her Dad in 2005...still HATE his guts today as he is TOTAL tool. He walked her down the aisle the first time...marriage lasted a year and a half. The stress of not wanting her to marry who she married, breathing the same air as her Dad and my seeing my whole estranged family who came from FL for the festivities, I ended up with s $6k ER bill from the Panic Attacks/stress. I couldn't go to reception and just slunk in and sat in the back row, and bailed when it was kiss the bride time. When asked who gives this woman...he said he did. So she is again having a big wedding, as new "hubs to be" is a first timer. She is NOT close to her Dad at all or her bro who disowned me 2 1/2 years ago...due in part to believing the years of lies daddy has spewed about me since he was a child. So having to face those two who hate me, and probably her FL grandparents is already sending me into a panic. I've told her I can't attend her wedding. She is more worried about the backlash/appearances if they aren't front and center, and not at all that I will be forced out. I'm sure he's giddy as he lives to inflict pain on me for leaving him 15 yrs ago. Any one have this situation ? Or solutions ?

My dad passed away 8 years ago I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle this time