Every now and then, my long term boyfriend and I discuss wanting to get married. I told him I don't want a wedding, but he says it's "non-negotiable" and he won't back down. This gives me a ton of anxiety about the future (I could only have a couple years to save up) and I don't know what to do.
There are too many factors that would make this a miserable wedding, and he still thinks it's a good idea.-Our families live on different continents-I have fewer than five people to invite, and he has a few hundred-I absolutely hate attention-I think it's a waste of money, and would rather spend it on a mortgage down payment-I am financially self supported, and the amount I would have to start saving for a wedding is ridiculous-I really don't like having money spent on me (I also don't want an engagement ring, which he says is necessary)-Dealing with inviting or not inviting my estranged mother would be an anxiety inducing nightmare (we would need to create a crisis plan if she shows up, she is very unstable)
It makes me so scared that this could hurt our relationship. All I want is a marriage certificate, and he requires an elaborate wedding.
How do I discuss this and put my foot down before it's too late and it starts harming us as a couple?
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