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Just Said Yes August 2023

Ways to include future husband's step-sister in the wedding

Addie, on August 2, 2022 at 12:20 AM Posted in Planning 0 5

My fiancé has a step-sister who has been in his life for a very long time. He was 4 and she was 9 when his father and her mother married. The step-sister's father died when she was 5, so my future father in law has been pretty much been the only father figure she's had throughout most of her life. My FH has two older brothers. My future husband is close with her, but is having trouble trying to figure out ways to include her. He's someone who is still stuck on the idea of just having guys on his side of the wedding party so he didn't include her as a groomswoman. Both of FH's brothers didn't include her when they got married and my future father in law told my FH several years ago that he was hurt about the other brothers leaving her out because he does view the stepsister as his daughter. FIL said that the did want to adopt the step-sister after he married his second wife, but he didn't out of respect for the step-sister's paternal grandparents who had regular visits and she also spent part of the summers with them. FH and I are considering having her as a reader or something else in the ceremony. We are trying to make it not seem like consolation prize for her.

5 Comments

Latest activity by Addie, on August 8, 2022 at 7:12 PM
  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    I'd make her a bridesmaid or a reader. Or have her walk down the processional with the rest of your immediate family
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    Agree with this. All of these are great options. If he is that close with her I would probably have her as a bridesmaid.

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  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Would you consider having her on your side as a bridesmaid? Totally up to you though. If you’re not close enough to her where you would personally feel uncomfortable having her in that kind of role, don’t feel obligated.
    I think being a reader can be a great honor and not a consolation prize.
    If you guys are having speeches either at the wedding or the rehearsal dinner, you could offer for her to make a speech (though be sure to let her know it’s ok if she declines. Some people are uncomfortable with public speaking, myself included).
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  • R
    Rockstar
    Rosebud ·
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    I agree with having her be a bridesmaid or a reader (or a part of the ceremony in some way, for ex, at a catholic mass wedding you have people bring up the Communion gifts). At the very least I d get her a corsage or flower for the wedding day. Best of luck to you!

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  • A
    Just Said Yes August 2023
    Addie ·
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    I'm mixed on having her as bridesmaid in part because she wouldn't know of the other bridesmaids and my MOH. As for speeches, my FH only wants his brothers to make speeches on his behalf.

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