We Know Nothing...

All officiants start somewhere. They all had a first wedding. This thread is not about my officiant.

Your officiant leads your ceremony, which you say you know nothing about. This post is definitely about your officiant.

You mentioned your inexperienced and not legal officiant thus making this thread about your officiant.

OP, you say you're inexperienced. PP's are asking good questions to help you get thinking about things.

@Julia technically it is about your officiant since you said you don't know much about ceremonies and that is generally the part a professional officiant handles.

It may not be wrapped up in a nice pretty bow but you are getting some good advice that should be considered. Just because another member's opinion differs from yours does not mean they are being rude when expressing it to you. Many of the regular members have been here a long time and have experience of their own or others to share. For example, if your marriage license is not submitted correctly- you are not legally married until it is. This could end up costing you more money to get corrected. No one here wishes ill will on you, rather we try to save you from coming back in a panic in the summer because something went wrong.

OP: "we know nothing"

Everyone: here is some sound advice based off of experience and stories we have heard.

OP: "I'm right and you're wrong"

Cool...

This question is about your officiant. All the questions that you have posted should be able to be addressed by your officiant. If your officiant cant answer them, then you have the wrong officant. That is like posting, "i know nothing about cooking, can someone tell me how to make beef wellington so I can guide my caterer?"

Did you really want advice? Because it seems like your comments make it SEEM like you didn't really want advice.

Ok my comment was back and now it's gone again...The OP edited her post but originally it said no telling her not to get married or negative comments. My comment still didn't violate the CGs. WWGhosties?

Well at least I got some helpful info from this post

I am taking in everyone's advice. I never said anyone was being rude, nor did I say I was right and everyone/anyone else is wrong. I am responding to people's comments just as they are responding to mine. I do not have to agree with or abide by other's advice just because I asked for it.

I do not appreciate the comments of those who are just trolling and actually being rude. All of my comments are in response to questions that were asked and I answered.

Lindsey- its back again.

OP, no one is trolling or being rude. Trolling is serious accusation around here.

K, my bad.

but there are like 2-3 commenters who are just mocking me, which is rude.

Why not to hire "friendors":

My FSIL hired a friend as a dj for their wedding. We will call him Rob. Rob was going to do it for free because he had been a family friend since they were little. They gave him $200 as payment just because they wanted to give him something. Well 2-3 weeks before the wedding FSIL turns on the radio and hears that DJ Rob will be playing at a local restaurant opening on the same night as her wedding at the same time. She texts Rob and asks if he is still going to be at the wedding and he says yes. She keeps hearing these promotions for him playing elsewhere and he starts blowing her off. She calls his radio station and he had booked her under the table (using the station's equipment) and was just going to blow her off and go to the place his job was sending him and leave her without a DJ. Because there was no contract she had no leg to stand on and only just recently got her money back from him. She luckily got a DJ because they had a last minute opening less than a week before the wedding. When she booked that friend she was sure he would be perfect. But now it ended their friendship and caused a lot of issues with their mutual friends who felt caught in the middle. It also caused some problems between their families who naturally took sides. It was just a big mess that would never have happened with a pro and a contract!

Yeah, all officiants started somewhere. But someone on wedding #1 is not going to be comparable to someone on wedding #100.

You may think we're mocking or being rude or whatever, but people's advice about your officiant is seriously trying to help you

Why ask for advice with no intention of taking it?

I've never heard of anyone's friendor officiant working out.

Also no one is being rude or trolling.

Thanks Laura, I appreciate it. I've never been flagged before and wasn't trying to start now!

OP- people are giving you good advice and when you counter every point that's made and tell us you're going to do what you're going to do it makes it feel like you didn't want input in the first place.

Julia..

Wedding ceremony's all generally follow the following structure..

- Opening (welcome everyone to the wedding)

- Address (usually officiant tells the attendants about the couple)

- Readings (optional, we are doing 2 readings from literary pieces)

- Intent (woo! I dos!)

- Vows

- Ring Exchange/Ring Vows

- I know pronounce you so and so

After wards typically one would take photos with family and bridal party if you have one. At this point guests would either have a cocktail hour or travel to your reception venue - keep in mind this should be close by (less than half an hour. Ideally 15-20 minutes)

Then you would make your arrival at the reception. Usually speeches take place, first dances, cake cutting. And woo party!

Please keep in mind to host guests properly you should serve food and open bar!

Things that aren't necessary - favors, bouquet toss, garter thingy

Hello. The concern people bring up about legality is a good one. If you have questions, talk to your local county clerk since they likely deal with these questions all the time. Granted I didn't do that much googling but it looks like the "ordained online" route could be ok for legal reasons. That being said, do talk to your county clerk. They would know best of anyone here in regards to legal stuff.

As far as your original question, youtube and google will be your best friend. Also talk to people in your life who have gotten married. They can give you a wealth of knowledge.

I also second the garter toss being not necessary. I always found it a little weird and definitely didn't want my family to watch my FH dive under my dress. *makes awkward turtle hand motions*