Hi so I am lost and would love some help. I know this is a long post, so here is the problem in a nutshell and the rest of the post is background.
How do we tell people we eloped, had planned a wedding, had to cancel it, won't be able to celebrate with anyone because the groom is stuck in Germany, sorry we didn't tell you, please don't be mad, we just wanted you to know that we're married and happy we found each other.
Here's the background:
My husband and I eloped in July 2020 because he was being sent to Germany in August (he's in the military) and we wanted to make it easier for me to follow. We had a reception planned in May 2021 because we still really wanted to celebrate with everyone.
My parents refused to drive the 8hrs to witness our wedding, saying it was just paperwork, it doesn't matter and we'll celebrate later. My in-laws, however, could make the 15hr drive. No question.
My husband is then sent abroad, and I am left to plan (which, honestly, planning was the best, I loved it). I had our dream wedding planned and on a tight budget and we were both excited. My family (my parents mostly) said I was "planning too much, it'd be too big," "why bother when you're already married," "forget it just get married in the yard," "you're wasting your money"... as you can see they were all really supportive and great.
Fast forward to October, our final payment for our venue is due and my husband doesn't think he will be allowed to come home, so we made the gut-wrenching decision to cancel, so we don't lose all our money.
My family again said "that's too bad but you're already married so now you won't have to waste all your money."
So here I am, heartbroken, alone and my family said the wedding of my dreams was going to be a waste of money that no one would go to anyway. (Mind you, my husband and I were paying for it by ourselves, and it was going to be relatively inexpensive <$20,000).
Now, I am lost. The majority of my friends and family don't know we eloped and we cancelled the reception.
How do I say "hey we eloped with only his side because my side couldn't be bothered to come, but we wanted to let everyone know that we did it. We wanted a wedding but it's cancelled." How do I tell people?
Also, how to I reconcile with the fact we aren't having a wedding? We won't be able to reschedule because I'm trying to join him in Germany for the next three years. How do I get over this selfish feeling of wanting a wedding so badly, and now I won't get to have one? Even if we have it later, it won't be the same. We'll have been married for three years by then it won't feel... special. That could be the sadness talking, but I doubt in three years my family will be any more supporting or any more likely to travel to attend.
