Wedding before baby is born or after?

Statistics say you're better off getting married before baby. Parents that are not married at the time of the child's birth are something like 50% more likely to separate after the baby is born than those who marry beforehand. Considering that the standard divorce rate is already 50%, that puts you at a HUGE divorce risk...My FS and I split for a stretch after our second son was born (just a crappy time w/the economy failing miserably/stress of baby), and I'm sure we wouldn't have if we'd been married. But, it depends on your situation. You don't want to look back and think you only got married for the baby's sake either.

Since you're expecting so soon, I would say after the wedding. Plus, if you wait, you can include your baby in the wedding in some cute way.

Danielle- Thank you for those statistics! I was completely unaware! I will SERIOUSLY consider that!

Amanda- Thank you... timewise, that does seem more realistic. My boyfriend is leaning towards your idea already. I personally don't really like the idea though. I would just like the wedding to be a seperate occasion and not be overwhelmed by the thought of the baby!

I understand you're thoughts, but the wedding is already a huge financial thing & so is a baby, so I figured maybe you would want to seperate the 2 to make it easier financially.

I wish I could remember the book that I found that info in, because it was really good. It was something along the lines of "unmarried motherhood in america"...check on amazon/your library for books bout it. I research everything to death lol, but it's definitely a topic that there is lots of information about that might be worth knowing

Another thing & I don't know if this is an option, but I've heard that a lot of people are choosing to have a child with the person they plan to marry before their wedding to see how they deal with the stress of children. Not that I condon this, it's just what is popular right now.

Amanda- I completely understand both ideas. I am just torn between the two :p I am definately going to research what you've mentioned!

Danielle- Thanks for mentioning the book! I didn't even think to read up on it! But I will definately head over to Barnes & Noble to check it out!

Good luck with your decision.

I did get married before the baby when I had my surprise baby. I also didn't have a wedding. Now 14 years after she was born I am planning my second marrage. This time after the surprise baby was born. If you want the baby to be born to married parents I would say JOP> Then plan the wedding for 2012. This way the baby is old enough to be left with grandma and grandpa for a weekend honeymoon. Plus you get some time together as a couple. FYI a baby takes over $200,000 to raise to 18 which is probally higher now since this infor was awhile ago. Plan for both. Plus unless you want to look drag ass tired in your wedding pictures(happened to my pregnant sister in hers) also an good idea to wait.

Oh, & one more thing. As I said before, babies are expensive & I would worry if you waited till after the baby was born, your wedding would get put off & put off because of money issues.

@ shdvl, thank you. You've just confirmed my last post, lol!

Consider how your pregnancy might affect the wedding AND wedding planning. There are the obvious things to keep in mind, getting a maternity dress to accommodate your belly. Once you get further along, standing for long periods of time could get difficult. Your hormones will also be at an all time high and adding the stress of planning a wedding could exacerbate things. And if you want to get married before you're too far along, that means getting everything done in a hurry. I'm not trying to convince you to do one thing or another, I just thought I throw a few things out there.

Also, congratulations on your pregnancy! Whichever you decide to do, you're still ending up with two beautiful addition to your family, a husband and a child. Many blessings.

Shana- Thank you so much for all of your suggestions. Lol... I have been following the show on Bravo "Bethenny Getting Married...?" she got married at 7 months pregnant so she has been my inspiration! Ha ha. I will deeply consider all of your great points when making my decision. Thanks for the blessings =)

-Keelie

First, babies are expensive as well as time-consuming. You may want the wedding before the baby is born so you can be fully focused on being a Parent when the baby arrives.

A Wedding is different from a Marriage. If you want to be married before the baby is born, then you have options of a small ceremony, or courthouse marriage. If the "big wedding" is in your dreams, you can have that after the baby. There is always an option for a vow-renewal anytime if you wan to have that wedding feeling.

Best Wishes to you.

My opinion is to have a wedding before the baby, because baby takes so much time, and you won't have it once the baby comes... and you will know that the baby was born in a marriage, maybe Im just too old fashioned.

I don't think statistics mean anything, especially if you were already engaged before knowing you were pregnant. I like the idea of JOP first, big wedding later. Whatever works for you though, I'm not sure what I would do in your situation.

I'm with dks-you could just do something small for now, and have a big vow renewal later. That's what we would have done had we been in your shoes

I say do something very small before the baby and later on have the wedding of your dreams........trust me when i say you will be so glad you did... good luck

I'm with dks..I can speak from experience AGAINST those statistics. My FS proposed to me and 5 days later rushed me to the hospital for dehydration just to find out that we were expecting our daughter. We were originally going to have our wedding May of 2009 but wanted to enjoy her first. We didn't have any problems with our child getting in between our relationship and it brought us closer together. I think if it is what is right for you..have a small wedding now and then a big vow renewal..but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting married AFTER having your baby. Congrats!! Good luck

JOP now, baby, then the wedding of your dreams. If you try to plan the big wedding now before the baby is born, you will be getting larger, time will be short, hormones flaring and tempers flaring. If you wait till after the baby is born, you will be one size, hormones back closer to normal, you can get a sitter to watch your bundle to give you time to plan, and a g-ma/g-pa can watch during honeymoon. Your baby will be born into a married family and odds are on your favor.