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Caswana
Beginner October 2021

Wedding Blues or Stressful

Caswana, on September 1, 2021 at 3:23 PM Posted in Planning 0 12
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Hey Ladies!
I am getting Married in 51 days. October 23rd to be exact. (Heyyyy to my wedding date twins!!!) I was going to have a wedding planner, but my dad talked me out of it (don’t know why I let him do that) so someone I know offered to help me plan since she’s done this before. I agreed, but man has this been stressful ever since! I thought when having a wedding planner they are suppose to communicate with you on trying to get things together. She’s frustrated at me because she says I don’t communicate with her as much when she doesn’t communicate with me at all unless I communicate with her. This will be my first time ever getting married so it’s still some things that I don’t know. This experience has been stressful and not the best experience for my first time getting married. I feel like I’m doing a lot of the things on my own. Am I crazy for feeling stressed or is my wedding planner not doing her job?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on September 2, 2021 at 2:00 PM
  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Honestly you both should be communicating with each other, it would make the process THAT much easier. But also, it doesn't sound like she is an actual wedding planner - just a friend who has had or planned a wedding before if I read it correctly. So maybe she isn't completely used to it either? But no you aren't crazy for feeling stressed, unfortunately that can come with planning any big event.

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  • Caswana
    Beginner October 2021
    Caswana ·
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    Yes you are correct. She’s planned both of her weddings and she’s really good at putting things together (she’s not an actual wedding planner). Communication has to come from both parties, not just one sided.
    Thanks for your feedback Yasmine! 😊
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  • Theadra
    Devoted June 2021
    Theadra ·
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    As a wedding planner it is their job to communicate with you and keep you in the loop of what’s going . As well, you should communicate with her on any concerns or things that hav evoke up . Their job is to bring you ease on your day. For our wedding coordinator/month of , she was the best at talking to vendors , timeline , executing things that need to be done . As well, as reassurance when something ( and it will) goes wrong during the last few weeks .
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    This is not a wedding planner though, is it? It's a friend who is trying to help you. You'll need to treat her as a friend first. None of this is her actual job.

    For others reading, sometimes "friendors" can be more trouble than just hiring a professional.

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  • K
    KellyM ·
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    Are you paying her for her help or did she just offered to help?

    If she just offered to help, than you honestly just have to accept what help that she is providing you. You can provide her feedback that you really need help w/ this or this or that and have her focus a portion of her volunteered help on those tasks.

    And yes, you might be in the position where you aren't paying her, but she offered to help knowing that. If that happened, she probably offered to help with the best intentions, but sadly life gets in the way & things come up that are pressing.

    If you are paying her, it's a completely different ballgame.

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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Are you paying her to help plan? Or is she doing this as a free jester?
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  • Caswana
    Beginner October 2021
    Caswana ·
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    She offered to help, but I’m not going to not give a thank you gift. Wether monetary or not.
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  • Caswana
    Beginner October 2021
    Caswana ·
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    She offered to help, but I’m giving a thank you gift. Wether it’s monetary or not because she didn’t have to offer at all. You are right.
    Thank for your feedback!
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  • Caswana
    Beginner October 2021
    Caswana ·
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    That is true! She’s not an actual wedding planner. She did both of her weddings by herself and helps with many things. She’s good at talking with people and getting things together which is one reason I said yes to the help. There was communication at first, but the communication kind of ceased. Not sure if the changes became to much or what.
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  • K
    KellyM ·
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    You are right, and she didn't have to offer to help. I tend to believe the best in people, and she probably had the best intentions when offering. Sadly life gets in the way & donated time is usually the first thing that goes by the wayside.

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  • Caswana
    Beginner October 2021
    Caswana ·
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    You definitely have a point Kelly! Life most definitely will get in the way lol
    Thanks for your feedback!
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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    But rather you give her a thank you gift or not, she offered her help free of charge. You have to be mindful that this isn't some stranger you hired to help you, this is your friend who as a friend is offering her help to you for free. You need to be a friend to her first and a bride second. Plus as a bride you should communicate with her what you need done and when. Give her tasks. She I'm assuming isn't a professional so she probably needs some direction from you.
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