Wedding & Bridesmaid Stress

I don't know what to tell you about your bridesmaids who can't commit, other than to make sure you aren't asking them to do or pay for anything unreasonable, which might be causing their hesitation.

Not sure what vendors need your attendant count, but if it's hair and makeup, just cancel that (for your party, not for you of course) since that's not necessary and is only causing you stress. And if it's flowers, ask your vendor for a couple different quotes based on number of people in your party and ask for the final date of no return. They should be able to give you a bit more time.

As for taking out groomsmen, I don't understand why your fiancé is not able to keep them. They are his friends and he chose them for a reason. If it's because you are losing bridesmaids, that's not a real reason to drop friends. Let your fiancé know he should apologize to the friends he kicked out and invite them back.

Your fiancé definitely needs to get addresses for invitations, but you have a bit of time. It's toot late to send save the dates (and they aren't really necessary anyway). Wedding invitations go out 8-10 weeks before your wedding date. Just remind him of the deadline and leave it. If he doesn't get the addresses, those people don't get invitations, and that's on him.

I agree with Alais. Your sides do not have to be even. I asked 3 girls to be on my side and my husband asked 5 to be on his (we ended up getting married without our wedding party due to COVID, but had we not, it would not have been an issue in the slightest). Additionally, I asked my MIL and her sister for help on addresses and then reached out to the rest via FB on my own. Your FH may not see how obtaining the addresses is time sensitive for STDs, so I would go to the sources myself.

First don't kick groomsmen out just because a bridesmaid might drop out. It isn't up to you to decide who and how many groomsmen your fiancé has. He doesn't have to have the same number of groomsmen as you have bridesmaids. I also am not sure what vendors actually need to know the number of people in your wedding party.

Second I wouldn't bother sending out save the dates 6 months prior to your wedding. They should've already been sent out by now. If you need addresses and your fiancé won't get them, then either tell him those people won't be invited because you don't have an address, reach out to these individuals yourself or see if his mom or dad might be able to provide addresses for his family. My mother-in-law provided the addresses of everyone on his side.