Wedding Celebration after Civil Marriage....Gifts??

You might want to check out this Miss Manners column on the issue.

I'm having a civil union, but won't be expecting any gifts. In fact, there will only be 5 ppl in attendance including us and our pastor. I won't actually be celebrating until September. So it's perfectly fine for me to register for my September wedding...the same goes for you (as long as you didnt register for the first one)

A wedding is, by definition, getting married. You already did that. You are throwing a party and wearing an expensive dress. It would absolutely be in poor taste to register for gifts. Some people may get you one, only because they feel they need to, since you keep calling it a wedding. Personally, I would not get you a gift, whether you registered or not.

Future Mrs. Harris - Our civil union was me and the hubby, his brother, and my dad. We didn't tell anyone really and we didn't have a party or anything. Just a simple, legal, union. I was actually laid off so, affording the "big wedding" with all our families and friends was out of the question. We pushed the date back another year.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you Jamie, I think there is a difference. I think if you ask women who never had the "party and expensive dress" if they had a wedding or just got married like the hubby and I did, they might agree with me. In no way am I belittling the marriage my husband and I have.

Just an fyi, I've read so many boards over the few months and asked so many people their opinions. I've decided on a picnic themed wedding in a park near our home. The "expensive dress" I've chosen will cost about $150 and if people want to give us stuff, that's awesome. If not, I'm just happy they decided to show up and celebrate our union with us.

We're calling it a vow renewal ceremony. I'm having this problem too because we had a lot of immediate family there for our JP ceremony and they all got us a little something (mostly money) but if people want to give us a gift, I'd like to have a registry that they can go to. Nowhere fancy, just Target or something like that. I don't think people will be offended. If they ask about it, I'll just say it's there just in case and nobody should feel obligated to buy us gifts.

I think you should do what you feel is appropriate for your situation. We had a civil ceremony 5 years ago and no family members were there. We are renewing our vows this June and inviting family and friends. We decided not to have a registry since we already own a home and have everything we need.

My best Friend and her DS got married at the court house in WI. Before they did so and they make sure to tell us afterwards they are going to do the "big wedding" on their 5th anniversary.. They did this because her family lives in WA and couldnt afford to fly over but we would anyways and his family didnt care either way.

But it will be a time for the family to celebrate their marriage. I will be bringing a gift but I didn't get them one the first time around. They aren't lying since EVERYONE knows that they are married, but this will be their chance to be in the lime light since neither one is lime light material.

Wed·ding   [wed-ing]

noun

1. the act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials.

I'm not saying you can't have people celebrate your marriage, but you have already had a wedding. It just wasn't a big one.

In other parts of the world it is required by law to have a civil union prior to your wedding. I live in Germany and we had our civil union 2 weeks ago, it was required of us to do so bc this is the Country we reside in, we will have a wedding in the US next year with family and friends. The civil union was for legality reasons only here in Germany, no vows said and nothing religious or spiritual allowed. I do feel married, because we did get married but we still plan to have a wedding with fam and friends to say our vows, & have the spiritual part involved. We were open about it to everyone and all of our fam and friends. I don't believe in keeping it a secret. We did not register or expect gifts, although we did receive a few and we don't plan on registering for our wedding in the US, the biggest gift is for people to travel and attend. However, if we lived in the US and weren't required to have a civil first I would not have went that route. It was diffrent situation for us and it..

(cont) blended our two cultures. We did the ceremony here all in German and we will do the US wedding in English and have a typical American Wedding (that all his German fam and friends are so excited to attend). We were open and therefor supported in our two ceremonies. We call it our German Wedding and our US Wedding. I don't feel I would support, attend or gift someone who got married and hid it and then had a wedding later. Just my experience and opinion.