Wedding Day was a disaster...

I'm sorry, things turn out better for you.

My rule of thumb? Don't let anyone make you late. Walk out the door without them.

Went to do pictures between the ceremony and reception while everyone headed to happy hour. Told everyone exactly where to meet and half of them followed us. Half of the wedding party decided that they didn't need to be there, and went to happy hour before the reception instead. I only got 1 picture with the entire wedding party. Joy.

MOH didn't want to be in any of the pictures! She kept ducking out and hiding to the point where I said screw it, and did the pictures without her.

Got to the reception surprisingly on time, only to have the DJ come running out to ask me what the plan for the day was. I got confused, since my day of coordinator was supposed to have a schedule for him. Found out that she decided to be late, so I literally had to walk him through everything that was supposed to happen and in what time frame minutes before our grand entrance. Super awesome.

Made it through the grand entrance, made it to the head table and sat down. We had planned to do the toasts right off the bat, to welcome everyone and let them know they were welcome to go eat at that point. MOH of course decided to wing her speech which was completely fake and irritated the shit out of me. BM's speech was great, brought tears to my eyes. My toast was fabulous, I decided to do a speech instead of the DH because I'm the people person, and he is not. He has a stutter when he gets nervous.

Food was great! Anyone that was around during my planning knew I was going back and forth with MIL because she wanted to cook the food herself. Well, she ended up smoking the meats herself, but hiring a caterer to take care of all the sides. Came out great! Don't regret letting her do the meats at all, everyone was complimenting how they turned out.

Cake cutting was up next, this is when our DOC decided to show up and then tried to take over the show and the schedule, which irritated me but I just let it go. Our cake ball cake was a huge hit, looked awesome, tasted delicious. Everything was great until we were about to feed each other the cake and one of DH's friends decided it was a great time to walk up and smack his back in congratulations. DH ended up with cake accidentally shoved up his nose, and I got a lecture from MIL about how disgusting and rude smashing the cake in his face was. Because I did it on purpose apparently? Riiiiight.

Probably about half the people that RSVP'd yes did not show up. Hey, more alcohol for us. Except that our reception venue has a full bar and they provide the alcohol, but when I paid for two kegs they apparently misheard me and ordered the wrong stuff. Not sure how you get Busch Light and Budweiser confused, but they did. So DH didn't get his favorite beer, but he dealt with it.

MOH decided to come tell me that her bf's Grandfather just had a stroke and she needed to leave right away to go be with him. Sorry, but I didn't believe that for a second because she's turned into a complete liar over the last couple months. Whatever, she left. We did our dances, garter toss, bouquet toss, etc. That all went fine. I did have a lot of fun with the people that were there... until everyone basically disappeared to head to the bar down the street. Whatever.

Ended the night much earlier than I had anticipated, the DJ even offered a refund since he was contracted for longer hours but he was fabulous, so I refused the refund. DH was a bit too drunk to drive, but I had a good cry in the women's bathroom and sobered up enough to drive his little bitty compact car in my giant poofy wedding dress back to the hotel room for the night.

Everything calmed down after the wedding, or so I thought. A couple days into newlywed life, my MOH decides to start blowing my phone up. Apparently her and my mother had gotten into a giant fight as she was leaving the reception and my MOH decided to bitch me out and blame everything on me. That friendship is now over. Sad, cause she was my best friend for years but the wedding made me see the selfish side of her, and she said too many things that I wouldn't be able to get over and put aside.

Then we get our professional pictures back... or so I thought. She sent me the original SD card in the mail so I could copy it and keep the photos in original quality... yet there was not ONE picture from the reception. No toasts, no cake cutting, no first dance, no mother/son dance, no brother sister dance, no garter toss, no bouquet toss. Talk about completely devastating. And she is trying to say that they were all on the SD card when she sent it, so it's completely my fault they are now missing. I don't even know what to do at this point. I wish I would have eloped, but atleast I have my DH who has been perfect!

Words of Advice:

Splurge the extra money on the photographer. Ours was offering almost a half price discount to be the first wedding she booked this year and she was somewhat new to wedding photography. Before us, she had about 5 weddings under her belt. The pictures looked great, which is why I went ahead and booked her. But now I wish I had spent the extra money to go with someone a bit more professional and established.

Don't let people sway what you want. Everyone frowned at my idea of a wedding cake made completely from cake balls, but I stuck with what I wanted and it was a complete hit.

Day of coordinators are great! Just make sure you have a more solid contract with them. I do wedding planning on the side so atleast I was able to keep my day running... but the point of hiring her was so that I didn't have to do it. She came highly recommended - but she didn't put the time on her contract and I honestly didn't think to have her revise it. So yeah, screwed over there.

And lastly, TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT. If your friends are starting to flake in the months before the wedding and it's progressively getting worse to the point where you have nightmares that they are going to ruin your big day? BOOT THEM. It's not worth ending up in the bathroom crying on what is supposed to be the best night of your life. Trust me on that one.

Oh Celia, I was about ready to! Walked out the door and sat in the front seat and yelled that I was going to drive myself to the ceremony and leave them all behind is what finally got them out the door. Talk about added stress!

Congrats! Sorry to hear some things went wrong, I would be bummed about the photos too

I'm so so so sorry to hear that you had so many problems in your day. Kudos to you for not losing your shit and going on a killing spree (though if you had I doubt anyone would have faulted you!!!). Congrats to you and your new DH. That you made it through this tough time and are sti beyond happy to be married says a lot about each of you and your relationship with each other. Leave the haters and leeches in the dust and enjoy married life without their selfish negativity and incompetence.

So on board with Celia!

OMG, despite it all you're happily married. But I want to beat the crap out of your MOH for you!!!!

Wow. I'm sorry this all went this way.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear your day was a disaster! But it sounds like you had some nice moments between you and your hubby.

I think the wedding process can definitely cause rifts in relationships...it's unfortunate.

I'm with Celia as well...so sorry things happened that way for you! Try to focus on the best parts and erase the bad from your memory if possible. And thanks for sharing this, gives us that still have a ways to go great advice for the future.

Aww I'm sorry your day was ruined! The good parts sound really amazing! I wish you and dh all the happiness in the world!

Wow.... I'm sorry that a few ignorant people had to try and wreck your day, but good for you and not stooping to their classless level. I say one your 1st anniversary whoop it up...and hire a better photographer who knows what they are doing and capture new better memories Your experiences with your bridal party are yet another reason why I'm not having adults in mine...way too much drama. Instead I am having my 3 little nieces...ok, I might get a lil from the 13yr old but I can handle it..lol.

Why is it that weddings seem to bring out the absolute worst in some people? To turn what is supposed to be the happiest day into a drama-filled disaster is just mean.

Glad you were able to realize the important thing is that you're married. Congratulations and much happiness to you both.

I'm so sorry!

The best thing I can tell you is to print the pictures from your wedding that you like, frame them up, and simply remember THOSE moments from your wedding day, and those moments ONLY.

In the next 5-10 years, you could always do a vow renewal and make up for this wedding day if you still really wanted to!

You have DH and that's what the day is really about, so I'm glad you already recognize that!

I'm so sorry your wedding was so stressful!! We actually had a lot of similar issues that you had so I know how heartbreaking it is and how all the problems make it seem like eloping was a better idea. But it sounds like so many things went well!! And I bet your guests had a great time and loved sharing that special day with you. I can't tell on my phone when your wedding date was, but I've been able to let go of some of the anger I felt at vendors who caused major problems. I'm sure you'll get to that point, too, and the more you hear from people about the love and happiness they felt that day the more you'll realize you threw a wonderful event that celebrated then two of you, and the haters can go to hell. Congrats on the wedding!!

See to much drama on BMs. That's why I am rethinking of just sticking to 1 MOH. I am so sorry that is happen to you.

Sorry that things were so stressful on your wedding day!! That really sucks! But at least you are married to a wonderful man and can move on with your life together.

Sorry for what it's worth, your story of your MOH has put my stuff into perspective.

My MOH won't be ehre, and when I found out I was a total mess.

but I read yours and my first thought was 'if she was going to behave this way, why didn't she just stay home??' then I remembered that things happen for a reason.

I do have a suggestion if it will help any- I've heard of couples getting a nice cake, inviting friends and having a dinner party in their wedding clothes when the wedding day was disappointing.

or they have a private ceremony in their wedding clothes somewhere special. I'm a firm believer in do-overs. when there's a bad memory, do something to create a new one! if you take some new pictures, then you can frame those on the wall and remember something wonderful.

I'm sorry again that it didn't go better. things go this way sometimes and when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

Sorry to hear this! I'm sure you looked beautiful and hopefully the bad memories will fade with time and leave the good ones.

At the very least I hope it helped you see who your true friends are and what is really important.