Wedding depression

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and hope it gets better. You need to think long and hard about this before you get further into it. You can see yourself with him in 20 to 25 years but not 30 years..? I am confused what's the difference?

Hi Sarah. I think it may be a good time for you to take at least a week off wedding planning, and you might consider giving yourself a change of pace as well. Can you have a girls weekend at a friend's house or go somewhere you don't normally go? I did this when I got burnt out, and physically removing myself from the situation let me get emotional distance as well. It sounds to me like you need to take a step back, physically and emotionally. Go somewhere, journal or meditate or anything that allows you to think clearly about the situation. You need time to yourself to recharge.

This is not a good feeling I’m sorry everything is so overwhelming. I am concerned as to why you can see yourself with him for the next 20/25 years but not 30? Why is that the cut off?

*them*
Editing since I don’t want to assume

View Quoted Comment Honestly I don’t know why. I just can’t imagine being with him any longer then maybe 30 years.

I would say don't marry the man you can live with....marry the one you can't live without.


Not sure how old you are, but sometimes as we age, we change and grow into the people that we were meant to be.
30 years ago, I was a totally different person than I am today. I am a thousand percent sure, of this marriage to this man.
That being said, I've been engaged twice before, and those didn't work out. I was just going with the flow, taking the next steps that were expected of us as a couple.
I'm very thankful, that I did not marry either one of them.I think you are having doubts for a reason, it could be cold feet, or your gut telling you something.
Follow your heart don't settle for less than being absolutely sure. I'm stressed and nervous over planning the wedding. But extremely sure in my choice.
I will pray for you to find the answers that you need. Just search your heart, the answers are there. You could just be worried about your life changing. Change is never easy, but true love is worth the risk.
Hugs to you! Feel free to message me if you need a sounding board. I may not have the answers, but I can listen.❤

View Quoted Comment

I love this and completely agree with Anna. I am so sorry you are feeling that way and I hope you will get the clarity you need to make the best decision for you. Does your FH know that you are feeling this way and are depressed? Maybe a conversation with him will help you choose what will be best for yo, if you haven't already.

I'm sorry you're struggling. Have you considered talking with a therapist? Depression is a medical condition that requires and deserves the same medical attention as a broken bone or elevated blood pressure. You and your fiance deserve for you both to be absolutely certain marriage is the right next step for you. Acknowledging that you are depressed should be a big red flag to explore your feelings and seek help to better understand what's going on with you. It could be something completely unrelated that is affecting your feelings about the wedding/marriage, but either way please don't ignore what you are feeling. We'd had a lot of family experience with mental health issues, and good medical care can truly be a godsend! Good luck to you!

Sorry to hear that. If you’re putting limits on your marriage, then it sounds like you may want to slow down in order to be sure.

View Quoted Comment I 1000% agree with this and think this is amazing advice. ❤️

View Quoted Comment ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hey Sarah, I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. Some nerves and extra stress is common during wedding planning, but if it is making you feel this down and upset it may be more than pre-wedding jitters. Who have you talked to about this? Would you consider talking to a counselor? They may be able to help you sort through your feelings, especially why you can see yourself with your partner for a long time but not forever.

Have you and your partner talked about your fears and feelings?

Also, if you like your dress and your mom keeps bugging you to change it, please ignore her or ask her to stop questioning the decisions you've already made, that's certainly stressful.

I would tell your fiance how you are feeling, and possibly seek counseling.

View Quoted Comment I have discussed this with my fiancé. He just thinks it is because my family is putting so much pressure on me, that is why I am feeling this way. Which could be completely true. My family is not taking into consideration that this day is about my fiancé and I. They see it as a big party to show off to their family and friends. Plus I am a teacher and I think since I am mentally drained right now from work it is taking a toll on myself being depressed and not wanting to do any wedding planning.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé and I have talked about this. Because the depression over the wedding is new. I literally became depressed about it a few days ago. I don’t know if it is because my family is trying to control everything (they are paying for the honeymoon, they are not paying for anything towards the wedding). It could be because I am a teacher and I have just been so stressed lately. I really don’t know. I do know after talking with my fiancé about my depression and my concerns. Him and I have come up with a game plan.

I understand what you're saying, that it's hard to picture 30 years from now. But it's also hard to picture 10 years from now, so as others said it IS weird that you can picture 20/25 years but not 30. It's just an arbitrary number. Can you picture what your body and hair will look like in 30 years? I mean, you can try, but it won't do you any good!

But onto the meat and potatoes. Wedding planning CAN get overwhelming, and it can happen fast. I got really depressed for a good chunk of the year over my upcoming wedding. It didn't seem like anyone else was helping or interested except for me, and all my extra money was going into savings so we couldn't go do regular, fun things like we used to (like mini trips, or girls' night out, or weekend adventures). I also took on an extra job during the holidays and got really burned out. All work and no play makes Cherry a dull and depressed girl. It was VERY hard to get excited about wedding stuff. I don't want to spend my hard-earned money on this garbage - I just want to elope!! But I do understand that the party is for everyone else, and that's OK because it's just this one time.

I'm about 3 weeks away now and I'm finally starting to feel excited. For me, it was a conversation I had with FH about how amazingly well we fit together because he can put up with my crazy and I can put up with his grouchy. We just make sense, and I can't imagine anyone else who would "get me" the way he does. Just like I can't imagine anyone else who would understand him, either. It was that realization, and also looking forward to our honeymoon, that helped to dig me out of my depression.

Maybe try to think about all of the positive things that are happening AFTER the wedding, and some of the positive things happening BEFORE it. And definitely take a break from planning the wedding. I stopped planning in December - it was just too overwhelming. It was nice to do that, because when I jumped back into it last week I felt like all my ducks were in a row, and by taking a step back I could focus on the bigger, important parts instead of picking apart the smaller details that I was stressing over before. Just as time heals wounds, it also gives you more wisdom and yesterday's fires become today's non-issues.

If your depression starts turning into less about the wedding and more about life in general, definitely seek help. In the meantime, take a step back and focus on your relationship - wedding planning can come later.