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Savvy April 2018

wedding Disaster!

Bianca, on April 23, 2018 at 3:10 PM

Posted in Community Conversations 52

I'm not sure where to put this... But my wedding was a disaster. I invited 120 ppl. 98 ppl RSVP GOING. 20 ppl (if that showed up). All the money. Planning, time doing,diy projects...and nothing. Most of the guest lives in the area. There was no bad weather. No sickness. No explanation. No apology....
I'm not sure where to put this...
But my wedding was a disaster.

I invited 120 ppl. 98 ppl RSVP GOING.
20 ppl (if that showed up).

All the money. Planning, time doing,diy projects...and nothing.

Most of the guest lives in the area. There was no bad weather. No sickness. No explanation. No apology. NOTHING.

I'm,talking people who drove me crazy during the planning process to have special accommodations still didn't come.
My husband's parents didn't come....only one called. Everyone else acted like it didn't even happen.
Dj(friend of,mine) faked sick and bailed on me. And posted on Facebook he played another event same day.
Weddings are EXPENSIVE. Emotionally exhausting. And THIS was so not ok.

I know it sounds cliche. But my husband and i haven't done ANYTHING to,ANYONE for this to make sense.
We are so hurt.
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52 Comments

  • B
    Savvy April 2018
    Bianca ·
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    No they have been very,supportive. We have or had (now) a good relationship.

    My daughter from a previous marriage calls them grandma and,grandpa. And they tell EVERYONE she's their,first grand baby.They are the ones who asked us to have a wedding. Being a military couple. A justice of the peace,would've had did just fine.
    They asked,for a wedding. And then,didn't show.
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  • B
    Savvy April 2018
    Bianca ·
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    No one has even,called to say,sorry. Or congrats...
    His,birth mother messaged me the morning of with something heartfelt. But EVERYONE else.,step mom..dad...brothers. Aunts, uncles cousins nothing.
    Only family he had there was the best man(older brother) and,uncle (groomsmen) uncle's wife(bridesmaid) and 4 cousins. 3 of which came super late
    • Reply
  • B
    Savvy April 2018
    Bianca ·
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    Yes. A dear friend of ours last,minute officiated and was the Dj.
    Hubby got,drunk enough to actually dance with me in front of people. Who knew he had moves like that?. Not me lol.
    My mom cooked so much delicious food. I'm convinced she needs to bottle the sauce.


    I was still able to drop it like its hot 6 months pregnant lol


    • Reply
  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    That’s great. This sounds pretty casual. Maybe people misinterpreted your invites and thought it was more of a “hey come if you can?” kind of thing?

    When did you send it invitations?
    • Reply
  • BrandiWeds18
    VIP May 2019
    BrandiWeds18 ·
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    Ahh i see now, the DJ decided to do a paying gig most likely instead of one for free. For those who haven't booked a dj or any vendor yet make sure to get a contract. friend or NOT. Contract is a paper signed by both parties thats legally binding in court. Free services are risky because if they don't show your left with the tears. This is horrible still...that friend should be ashamed on himself posing that on facebook. I'd like the post and even comment. jerk

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  • Dolores Umbridge
    VIP June 2017
    Dolores Umbridge ·
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    If we were allowed to give constructive criticism anymore, WW could have helped spare you some heartache.


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  • He Put A Ring On It 2019
    Devoted September 2019
    He Put A Ring On It 2019 ·
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    I can only imagine the hurt and anger you're feeling. This is my biggest fear. All these people (especially family) who claim they love you and then let you down on your biggest day. Ugh **hugs**.
    Brightside is you're married and at least you know who is really there for you.
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  • B
    Savvy April 2018
    Bianca ·
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    Nope. I sent the,invites out 8 weeks before wedding. And my husband made a specific announcement to straggler...about deadlines and needing a head count for food...
    I 20 blocked rooms for out of town guest.
    It definitely wasn't a casual thing. The venue definitely was a casual thing.

    They knew....
    • Reply
  • ISaidHallYes
    VIP November 2018
    ISaidHallYes ·
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    Awww I am so sorry to hear this! Can you pull anything out of the day that was good? You are married! I’m sure you looked beautiful! And I saw you got your husban to dance! At least the whole thing wasn’t disaster.

    Im so sorry about the rest of it though. That is terrible that they did that to you. All those people shouldn’t have rsvp’d. Maybe try reaching out to some of the people and seeing if something happened? My heart breaks for you!
    • Reply
  • IGotTheD
    Dedicated April 2019
    IGotTheD ·
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    OP, weren't you married prior to this celebration?

    I think people didn't take it as seriously as you'd hoped. Which is unfortunate, but it does sound more casual. People probably assumed it wasn't a big deal, and they don't tend to prioritize celebrations of marriage as much as they do actual weddings.

    I'm sorry this happened. Good news is you're married, there were some enjoyable moments, and you can move on.
    • Reply
  • MrsMcK
    VIP September 2017
    MrsMcK ·
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    I’m sorry this happened. There must be more to the story that you’re unaware of.
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  • B
    Savvy April 2018
    Bianca ·
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    We were fine with the justice of the peace ceremony after deployment.

    Our family were the ones who asked,for the WEDDING....drove us insane with travel aggramgememt and hotel info..wedding venue locations. Contestantly adding more people to the guest list...which destroyed our budget.



    .And then had the nerve to not,come to a wedding they asked for? And were no call no show.

    No having been,previously married is,no excuse.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert July 2018
    Katie ·
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    I'm sorry about what happened.

    Is there any reason to be explain the possibility that people didn't take the invitations seriously?

    How were the invites delivered to guests?
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  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
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    I am so sorry this happened to you!
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  • I
    Savvy June 2018
    Izabel ·
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    I am so sorry that happened!
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  • B
    Savvy April 2018
    Bianca ·
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    Honestly once you RSVP YES. You are accounted for. Be it a castle or bbq WEDDING. Someone paid for tables chairs decorations food alcohol etc.

    They took it,serious because they were calling,throughout the whole planning process about hotels. Travel. Flights. Location...and we did all this work to try and,accomaodate everyone so they could be there. Even moved the venue closer to their hotels. So they could literally take a cab and not,worry about drinking and,driving.



    And that still wouldn't explain the,no show, no call NOTHING.
    • Reply
  • Gaby
    Dedicated November 2018
    Gaby ·
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    Well, they missed a great meal and the chance to celebrate with you!
    The important thing is that you got married!
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  • Karma
    Devoted April 2018
    Karma ·
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    Totally this! And your hubby shook his groove thing too! Hold onto the great moments and slowly the bad things will fade away...
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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    I’m so sorry you had to deal with this...it’s crazy. Particularly your in laws! I just don’t understand! Hold on to your good memories!
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  • IGotTheD
    Dedicated April 2019
    IGotTheD ·
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    So they had flights and hotels booked and still cancelled?

    I think the question of "how were invites delivered" is a valid one. If they were email or FB or even word of mouth, they wouldn't have been taken as seriously.

    A lot of people are just trying to help you see or figure out what could have happened. I know you're hurt and angry, and that's normal, just know we're trying to help you process.
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