Wedding dress (future mother in-law offered to purchase)

View Quoted Comment I don’t think she wants to be involved with picking it, but that’s a conversation she and I will need to have to make sure we are both on the same page

View Quoted Comment I don’t think there is any underlying power. I think she’s just doing it to be nice.

Totally depends on your FMIL. Is it a true gift, as in it's given without expectation of anything in return, or is it a quid pro quo? My MIL tried to "gift" me things that were nothing more than attempts to try to manipulate me or leverage money as power. No thank you!

Also, I would talk to your mom. My mom wanted the experience of her and I, and a few bridesmaids. Your FMIL is not your mom and may not want her intervening if her intent is to come dress shopping with you.

Also - if your MIL is the type that would steam roll you, I would say no.

View Quoted Comment

I totally agree with you here! We paid for everything on our own and i always say I'm so glad we did. When you do it on your own no one's opinion matters but yours and you don't feel guilt making decisions for yourselves.

That is so generous of your future mother-in-law! What a sweet and kind gesture. It definitely is a personal decision. If you're comfortable with it, and you don't think it will cause any problems in any other way, I say go for it! We paid for our wedding and everything involved on our own and that gave us the freedom to make all decisions solely for ourselves without having to take multiple other opinions into consideration. I'm glad it worked out that way, but having someone pay for one of the major wedding expenses can take some stress off of you. What I would say is only agree to let her pay if you are certain you'll get a dress you absolutely love!!! I took my MIL dress shopping with me and because she was there, I didn't get the dress I truly wanted. I will always regret that and listening to her opinion. So as long as you can ensure you'll get a dress that makes you happy, you certainly can accept her offer!

As long as you get to decide the style with no strings attached, go for it.

My future mother-in-law paid for my dress as i was taking it off at Davids Bridal. It brought tears to my eyes. That means she cares for you let her do it. It also depends on the person is she trying to tell you what to buy or is she buying what you want?

View Quoted Comment Aw, see that’s the feeling I got when she told me that’s what she was doing. She’s not a controlling person and I definitely feel like her intentions are genuine.

View Quoted Comment Thanks I will.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry to hear that. Yes, she provided me with a budget - so I figured I would let her pay for the dress that is being custom made for day two. She’s so happy that my fiancé and I are allowing her to do it.

View Quoted Comment My mother and I have been going dress shopping together, and I found my dress for day 3. My mother in-law to be in not a controlling person. And my fiancé and I have decided to let her pay for my dress for day two since she has provided a budget. My dress is custom made - so it’s not something she can have too much control over since I have already discussed it with the designer.

View Quoted Comment That’s terrible. No his mother comes with good intentions. She’s a really sweet lady and we have a great relationship.

View Quoted Comment

Well that all sounds good. I would run it by your own mother/grandmother first, because they might have strong opinions about wanting to buy that for you. If not go for it.

View Quoted Comment So true. I will definitely take your advice.

Not for the dress, but she can kick in on another expense if she would like!