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Amanda
Savvy September 2021

Wedding Duty Assignments

Amanda, on March 11, 2021 at 2:58 PM

Posted in Planning 29

What duties do I need to assign to people and who should I assign them to? I keep seeing this everywhere and I can be a bit of a control freak/don't want to burden anyone else with "duties" so this didn't even occur to me. Any ideas on where to start on this?

What duties do I need to assign to people and who should I assign them to?

I keep seeing this everywhere and I can be a bit of a control freak/don't want to burden anyone else with "duties" so this didn't even occur to me.

Any ideas on where to start on this?

29 Comments

  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
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    I second this. It really doesn't help when the websites like Bridal.com, wedding wire, the knot, etc all have lists or suggestions of what the 'duties' of the wedding party should be. It's creating a lot of entitlement that's just getting exhausting.

    Your guests are there to have fun, and your wedding party is there to have fun with you and be with you through the day to keep you excited and pumped to get married.

    Really, it's the wedding industry's fault we keep having these crazy bridezillas pop up.

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  • H
    Devoted August 2023
    Hhh ·
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    Absolutely agree that your friends and family shouldn’t work your wedding, but I interpret “duties” to also mean small asks that can’t be done by DoC: fix your dress at altar, grab card box at end of night, stay for family pictures after ceremony, gathering time/location for grand entrance, etc. Some of these seem obvious, but if your wedding party hasn’t been in other weddings they may not realize (I wish my friend had let me know about dress fluffing when I was moh!)
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  • Alisha
    Rockstar April 2021
    Alisha ·
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    I didn’t assigned duties to anyone (bridesmaids etc). We did ask help if we needed help with something for wedding (ideas). I did ask my moh to go with me to the food tasting and I asked her to help me to find something for the wedding. Other than that I didn’t assign duties. I do have DOC for our wedding which is a big help.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If you want to pay for a DOC or planner, you could give them “assignments,” but anything else is your and your FS’s responsibility.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    The only 2 people I asked to do something are the 2 greeters. Other than that, the venue has a DOC.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Hi Amanda! I had lots of family and friends offer “hey what can I help with?”, which was super nice. My girl cousins and I have always helped one another when each has gotten married. One “duty” was cousins emptied out our card box and locked it in the trunk for safety. My cousins took home with them just a piece of decor that meant a lot to me so it wouldn’t get lost in the shuffle. My husband’s aunt was in charge of a family goblet the best man did his toast from, so it was a relief she brought it and placed at his seat and also took it home with her for safe keeping. Very simple duties and I only asked the person to handle one small thing (not like cleaning up the entire reception 😂). Hope this helps!! ❤️
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  • T
    Tracey ·
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    Our family members offered to pack up decorations for us. Does that count as a duty? I couldn't really find any services like "hire someone to pack up your things" when you don't even know when you might ask them to arrive and they have no idea what things are yours and what things are meant to be kept at the venue. We actually told our family that we would do the pack down and they were like "No way! You guys should spend time together on your first night married, not pack away decorations together when you're already exhausted!" and would not let us do anything no matter what we said. Judging by their reactions pack down is totally fine to ask family/close friends to do, if they offer to help out at the end.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I did assign stuff haha like I assigned my bridesmaids to the sign in guest table (I had a lot of elderly guests who didn’t speak English) so it needed some direction and def everyone helped out with set up
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  • Liz
    Devoted August 2021
    Liz ·
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    Biggest things I've seen were set up and clean up related. Set up we're responsible for doing our own decorations, so I'll be asking for help with that. Frankly I don't want to be bothered while I'm trying to get ready so am designating a person I trust to run point for any questions or issues that come up last minute. My venue will do most of the clean up for an extra fee, but we'll still need to get our personal stuff out of there at the end of the night. Decorations signage etc. Plan who you'll have take those things home, same with gifts and cards. You can hire a planner to do EVERYTHING but not everyone can afford all the extra fees with things so fully understand what your vendors will and will not do for the price you've paid.
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