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Expert September 2021

Wedding Etiquette

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MK, on March 23, 2021 at 1:54 PM

Where does the "wedding etiquette" you're familiar with come from? I see tons of brides referring to etiquette as if it's an "across the board" thing. From showers, wedding party, guest lists, bachelorette/bachelor trips, down to the day of - everyone seems to have their own protocols that they call...

Where does the "wedding etiquette" you're familiar with come from?

I see tons of brides referring to etiquette as if it's an "across the board" thing. From showers, wedding party, guest lists, bachelorette/bachelor trips, down to the day of - everyone seems to have their own protocols that they call wedding etiquette; although, we are all from different areas with different traditions and values in wedding ceremonies. There's not a book that states what you have to do in order to have a wedding celebration --

What do you get your wedding standard from? Your family's standards, how things are done where you're from etc.?

From seeing this term so frequently used, I'm really curious to see where everyone gets their idea of proper behavior and social graces, and feel so strongly that they believe any other way is wrong?

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24 Comments

Expert September 2021
MK · on March 23, 2021 at 7:36 PM
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So who's etiquette does this Greek couple follow?
I've been to a wedding with a money tree hanging up as decoration for donations. Would I do that at my wedding? No. But is it my place to say it's right or wrong? Also, no.
There are people who are native to Kenya who spit on you as a sign of great respect for you - as a matter of fact, father's of the bride will spit on the bride and groom as a "good luck" into their marriage. Would this offend me? Absolutely! Natives to Kenya? No.
These are two off-the-wall examples but my point is, people are different.
We don't get to say what's right and "wrong" for everyone. No matter where you're from or where you're getting married, people from all around, of different religions, social classes, budgets, values etc. are ON THIS WEBSITE and they see everything we deem 'unacceptable' in the wedding world. For people to judge someone because of how they chose to or are able to conduct their wedding is what's extremely rude if you ask me.
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Devoted October 2021
Kk · on March 23, 2021 at 8:59 PM
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I think everyone is taking the open your wallet thing a little too literally. You can still follow Greek traditions of pinning money to the bride while still following the etiquette of not having your guests open their wallets for food and drink.
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Expert September 2021
MK · on March 23, 2021 at 9:10 PM
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Oh, for sure! I used that as an example to make the point that one person’s etiquette isn’t another’s. My guest won’t have to open their wallet at all during my wedding, but that’s doesn’t mean a bride who can’t afford to do that is wrong and rude. Some may not be able to fit an open bar in the budget. My only point is that’s not anyone’s place to judge or deem wrong.
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Devoted October 2021
Kk · on March 23, 2021 at 9:27 PM
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This. I think we can all agree that weddings are expensive. And that can lead to having to make some hard choices. When your the one in the position of making those hard choices, it's so easy to make excuses as to why it's okay to bend the rules for your event, even if takes away from your guests' experiences. If you were going out to dinner with a group of people, would you choose not to invite one person's significant other because they haven't been dating for xxx amount of time? No. Because it's rude. Same rules apply to a wedding. You can't just stop being a good host because things are expensive.
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