Wedding Gap..help

We’re in a similar situation. Our ceremony is at 2pm as well, will last about an hour. Then we have until 3:30 for photos at the church. Reception venue is 30 min away from church, cocktail hour starts at 5:30pm which leaves a 2 hour gap. We want to use that time for photos with our bridal party and of us. We did suggest for guests to check in to the hotel during that time and check out the local bars, mall, restaurants nearby. Our reception also has a nice lobby that guests can hang out in before cocktail hour. I don’t think 2 hours or less is that bad, I’ve been to weddings where there was a longer gap in between and to be honest, I did get tired of waiting. But once people reach the reception their excitement comes back and once they get alcohol in their system they should be fine lol.

Can you start cocktail hour at 4? That would actually be perfect timing then. There would be only like a 30 min gap and that’s about the amount of time it would take people to take a few photos and a bathroom break anyway

This happens a lot. You might host a mini private cocktail party in your home or hotel suite for the out of towners And family with light snacks and beverages.

This is the norm where I am from. So far, the earth has not opened up and swallowed anyone whole.
Heck, I created a 3 hour gap and my ceremony and reception are in the same room.
People can entertain themselves. My family is generally super busy, we use gaps to go purchase and wrap wedding gifts or go grocery shopping. When it's a friends wedding, we go to a bar and hit some apps and drinks.

Can you just start your cocktail hour earlier?

We had the same thing happen and nobody said a word about it. I dont think it's rude or anything. It gave folks a chance to freshen up and change into party clothes for the reception! (Mostly some of the men who wanted out of their suit jackets and button downs into polosl)

This is very common with our Catholic relatives in the midwest and on the east coast.... If people are familiar with the practice, they probably expect it and won't be completely shocked. I agree, from a guests' perspective, it is MUCH less than ideal. The other risk, at least in our family, is that a ton of people just blow off the ceremony entirely and only show up for the reception. Personally, I think that is totally rude, but I've attended weddings in major Catholic cathedral-type churches where < 50 guests show up for the ceremony, but 250-300 will be at the reception. (Husband's extended family might just be pretty rude though....) Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Hi,


Yes I could move up to 4, but then the wedding would need to end at 9...which is super lame....
4-5 cocktail reception 5-6 dinner6-9 dancing (it shouldn’t be more than 3 hours....) right?
What’s worse - a wedding that ends at 9 or a two hour gap and end at 10:30ish which I think is a good time

View Quoted Comment I don’t think ending at 9 is “lame” at all. As a guest I would definitely rather shorten the gap. If I had been out at a wedding since 2pm I’d definitely be very tired and ready to go home at 9pm which is 7 hours later.

View Quoted Comment I'd rather have a 2 hour gap than have the party end at 9.

View Quoted Comment Yes! Welcome to the midwest! My people! This sounds totally normal.

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LOL! I'm not Catholic and not from the midwest, so the first couple weddings we went to on H's side, I remember thinking, "Wow! They are having a MUCH SMALLER wedding than I expected!" Only to realize in H's family, the ceremony is definitely not the priority and truly considered "optional." And, to make it even better, half those who do attend the ceremony literally look like they're taking a break from mowing the lawn or running errands on a Saturday afternoon -- they show up in jeans and a t-shirt (including, once, the BRIDE's MOTHER...), but then they are dressed to the nines for the reception 5 hours later.... It's okay, those B&G's can always count on us "weirdos" from CA to show up, early, for the ceremony dressed in cocktail attire for their 1 pm ceremony. Gotta love family!

I would rather a party end earlier (after party?!!) than wait around for 2 hours as an out of town guest. Yes of course as an adult I can entertain myself but I shouldn't have to when I've traveled to attend your wedding and why would I eat and drink right before I'm supposed to eat and drink at your cocktail hour and dinner? That doesn't make much sense to me. Just my opinion though.

View Quoted Comment Hi!


I agree, but 90% of the guest list is local. I would say 60% are 10 minutes from ceremony venue. Only a select handful are out of town.
The ones out of town have a room at the hotel 5 minutes away. So they can refresh, nap, go to a bar....
Do you think the gap is still bad?

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I mean if it's only a handful then I guess it's fine for them to just hang out at the hotel and refresh or whatever. To me, it's not ideal but it's not the end of the world either. Your guests will be fine.

I've been to plenty weddings like this where there was a gap and I hate it so from my experience either people don't go to the ceremony much or yea they just hang around during the gap time. I think it's ok though since that's how your schedule has to be because guests will find ways to entertain themselves

View Quoted Comment Is your cocktail hour just drinks and apps - then dinner later after cocktail hour?