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Dedicated May 2022

Wedding information for my guests (long post)

Charlene, on June 14, 2021 at 11:09 AM Posted in Planning 0 23

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Good morning Bride Sisters!! I need some feedback. It's come to my attention that a great majority of my guests have never been to a wedding before. I was BOMBARDED with a million plus questions. Instead of sending out normal Save the dates I decided to do what people are calling 'Informational Save the dates'
Please let me know if I am missing anything, should I take something out?
SN: I do have a website but no one goes on it🤦🏾‍♀️
(NOT SURE WHAT THE GREETING WILL BE YET)
As some of you may know Anthony and I booked ANOTHER venue and are pleased to announce this to our family. I decided to do a pre informational Save the Date due to the change of venue. We also decided to do things more privately instead of posting on social media. Last time our inboxes was swarmed with "I hope I'm invited" and countless inquiries about the wedding. We would love to invite everyone but prices can range from $130pp to $360pp and we simply cannot afford a 200+p wedding. It has also come to our attention that a few of our guests have never been to a wedding before so this information may be useful. We hope you can make our special day and remember to SAVE THE DATE❤
New Date: Saturday May-28th-2022
Invitations & Plus ones: Due to limited capacity and Covid19 safety reasons we can not extend a plus one to all of our invitees. We are limiting our plus ones to married, engaged,long term couples and people we approved to bring a friend. If your invitation only has your name on it, you do not have a plus one. I can guarantee you know everyone if not everyone at the wedding so you will not feel alone. You can expect to receive your invitation between the months of January-March. RSVP is a must. As stated above we are paying Per Person, which means if you do not rsvp by the date given on your invitation, your spot will unfortunately be given to someone else. We do not get refunded for the people that do not show up and would hate to lose any money. We will not accept any late rsvps. If you do not receive your invitation by March 1st, PLEASE call/ text me asap so I can send one via FedEx or UPS.
Location : Smithtown New York
Venue: TBA
About the Location. There is NO public transportation around. The only way to the venue is via a car. For my out of towners and guests who may need a hotel for the night, the venue is at least 20 minutes away from the hotel/train. If you take an uber to the venue you will need to call one at LEAST 20 minutes before the reception is over, it is a 20 minute drive for them to get to us and they'll most likely be by the hotel or train area. If you choose to drive to the wedding please keep in mind it is 5hrs of premium open bar and we do not want our guests drinking and driving. If you want to ensure you will get an uber (wedding is over at 12am) you can schedule a car to pick you up earlier in the day so you don't have to worry about a cab being available.
Valet Parking: Valet parking is prepaid, please take advantage of it.
Hotel blocks: What are hotel blocks? Hotel blocks are rooms the bride reserves for her out of town guests or family members at a discount. I highly recommend my Brooklyn guests take advantage, you do not want to make an hour and a half long trip home messed up. I highly suggest getting a room for the night. For my out of towners, I assume you will need a room. Please let me know via text or Facebook whether or not you will need a room, the wedding is on Memorial weekend and the hotels may fill up fast.
Registry/gifts: Due to our limited space, we do not have the room to hold 100+ gifts from our guests. If you would like to get us a wedding gift, we are kindly requesting monetary gifts.
Attire: Black tie, WE want our guest to get into the mood of our Midnight Romance theme and dress the part. We will be requesting all our guests to get decked out in their finest attire. Gowns for the ladies and suits for the gentleman.
SN: For the ladies, PLEASE no white, Ivory or cream like colors.
Ceremony Start time 6:30pm SHARP! We kindly ask all our guests to arrive atleat 45min-1hr before the start time of the ceremony. (Champagne and fruits will be served for our early arriving guests.)
NOTE: Anthony and I will be saying our own vows, we kindly ask that you not arrive after 6:30. Once we begin our vows, if you're not seated our wedding planner will kindly ask you to wait in the cocktail space until the ceremony is over. This is the most important part of our day and we do not want to be interrupted by guests who arrive late.
Cocktail hour: Cocktail hour is normally when the bride, groom and their wedding party take a bulk of their pictures. You most likely will not see us or anyone from the wedding party until the reception.
Reception: The reception is where the real fun begins (so bring your dancing shoes). The night will be filled with a mixture of 80s and 90s rnb classics (our fav), some early 2000 favorites, finished off with " today's music". At 9pm we will change the tune from censored music to uncensored. This means you will hear the N word, Bs and Ho&$, Fs and U's, and itches ain't spit 😅😅. We will also being doing such dances as "Twerking" and or booty shaking🤣🤣🤣. If you do not wish to hear such music or participate in such a dance we definitely understand your early departure. We also strongly suggested you have your ride available to pick you up at 8:30 or 9pm sharp, the the DJ will be instructed to change the music at exactly 9pm to Waka Flocka's "No Hands". MOST OF YALL KNOW THE BEGINNING TO THAT SONG😜😜😜😜.The reception is over at 12AM. As stated above I highly suggest having your cab arrive no later then 12:30, we may want to get some final pictures in.

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23 Comments

Latest activity by Charlene, on June 14, 2021 at 12:38 PM

Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:10 AM
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SN: my family knows my personality, they will read this in my voice and LOL🤣
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on June 14, 2021 at 11:17 AM
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I’d keep some of this shorter and more to the point. You shouldn’t be including what the costs are and you shouldn’t be letting people know their seats will go to other people. I’d also make sure you plan for some of your single guests to end up in relationships since your wedding is still almost a year away. My parents met and married in that amount of time and I’ve had friends do the same. In addition, if you’re asking people to dress black tie, be sure you’re giving them the entire black tie experience (valet parking, top shelf open bar, multi course plated meal,etc)
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:20 AM
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They have all the above as far as Black tie! TRUST me I know my family, everything you're saying I should say..... I SHOULD! please keep in mind this will be the first REAL wedding in our family in over 30yrs. We're shelling out well over 35k for this. I do appreciate you taking the time out to give me feedback.
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:21 AM
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As far as people getting married in a year, I HIGHLY doubt that plus we only consider long term relationships 3yrs plus.
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VIP October 2022
Samantha · on June 14, 2021 at 11:26 AM
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Does this include people who live together?
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:29 AM
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People who live together automatically get a plus one, they know this. Thank you
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Devoted March 2022
Apryl · on June 14, 2021 at 11:30 AM
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I going to be honest with you. No one is going to read all of that. I didn't read all of that.
You can give information on time, location and other need to knows.
You don't have to explain to guests what costs are or why you are opting for a smaller ceremony. Explaining yourself makes people feel like they have the right to your personal information.
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:31 AM
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Thank you for your reply, but as stated above this is information that was REQUESTED OF ME! I do appreciate your feedback.
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VIP October 2022
Samantha · on June 14, 2021 at 11:31 AM
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Ah ok. I was wondering at the three year mark being the determination.
I’ve been doing the “well…they may be serious by then, but some people may break up so hopefully it evens out” LOL
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 14, 2021 at 11:44 AM
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I do think you’re overthinking a bit, and over sharing. Stuff about money and gifts should not be part of invite info. The problem with so much info is if people get a wall of text, they’ll tend not to bother actually reading through all of it. So I would shorten your full explanations a bit and highlight the main points in bold, so they’ll at least be sure to read the most important bits.

For valet service, I’d simply say there will be complimentary valet service available.
I would definitely get rid of this bit “ Last time our inboxes was swarmed with "I hope I'm invited" and countless inquiries about the wedding. We would love to invite everyone but prices can range from $130pp to $360pp and we simply cannot afford a 200+p wedding. ” … it’s a little too personal and gets uncomfortable when you’re telling your guests what you are paying to host them.
Similarly in the rsvp section. It’s great to explain that rsvps are a must if they’re new to events like this. But it is still your responsibility to track down missing responses in case something got lost in the mail or anything .
Mostly though it’s a matter of simplifying the information so it doesn’t overload guests into skipping over parts.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on June 14, 2021 at 11:46 AM
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Its definitely long af lol but if your guests have never been to a wedding before then it will be helpful. I absolutely love that you gave them a heads up as far as the music changing lmao
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:48 AM
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I will definitely shorten it to make it easier.
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Devoted October 2021
Gabby · on June 14, 2021 at 11:51 AM
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Could you just include this on your website and tell every single person that asks to go to your website? Also requiring a relationship to be 3 yrs old is a bit much. People can be serious much quicker than that. My fiance and I have been together 16 months as of now and we are getting married in October.
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:55 AM
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We do have a website and most of this information was on it, out of 150 guests 40 went to the website and it's only less then a handful of elderly people. Things may work that quickly for you guys but as stated above this is the first wedding in my family in over 30 years. We not getting married left and right over here🤣🤣🤣🤣 I definitely appreciate your feed back tho❤
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 11:59 AM
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This may seem like alot of information but when I was invited to my first wedding I wish I was given information like this, I will however remove the cost. But they NEED know they will be replaced if they do not make my rsvp date🤷🏾‍♀️. Idc if it's something YOU wouldn't do, I don't have money waste. Because hearing people have 150+ weddings with only half showing up is a NO NO for me. This may seem blunt to some but like I said I KNOW MY FAMILY.
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on June 14, 2021 at 12:07 PM
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I’m going to be blunt, if everyone is giving you the same advice then you should take it. If not then why bother ask?

This is way too much information. I would simply include a link to proper wedding etiquette and expectations for those who are inquiring.
You are not obligated to answer questions about expenses and including it is HIGHLY frowned upon.
Im pretty sure the guests that are old enough to drink know that they shouldn’t drive and given the distance from the venue, will know they have to make arrangements. So, that portion can be cut out to reduce the overall length.
As far as the explicit music goes, the wording is a bit tacky. You can simply state “After 9pm the music will not be censored for children, those who are offended by explicit lyrics or provocative/sensual dancing”.
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 12:10 PM
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Thanks for your feedback, I thought I stated I would shorten this 'letter' if I didn't then I will, if you haven't read the previous comments then what may be TACKY to you is right up my families alley🤣🤣🤣. Again I do appreciate your feedback.
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on June 14, 2021 at 12:11 PM
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LADIES!!! PLEASE READ ALL PREVIOUS COMMENTS BEFORE GIVING FEEDBACK, IM TIRED OF SAYING " AS STATED ABOVE" GET ALL THE INFORMATION THEN COMMENT. YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING WHAT I ALREADY ANSWERED🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Super October 2022
Jessi · on June 14, 2021 at 12:17 PM
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I'd definitely get rid of the part before your new date, you're the person wanting to have a black tie wedding, that's not on your guests that those are expensive events. Instead of telling people how their invitations work, could you instead just put "____ of # attending" on your RSVP cards? Most people should understand that and then you would just have to track down the few who can't follow directions lol.
I do think you're over thinking this all a bit. Why can't you just send people to your website when they ask questions? Are the people who haven't attended weddings different age groups? I feel like most of the older generations know how to act at a wedding and what to expect in general. This stuff could be sent out in an email or text to younger friends. You know your family, but I know mine would think I was being absolutely ridiculous if I sent them something like this.
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