Wedding invitations dilemma

It's not too late for save the dates at all, especially since invitations should go out 6-8 weeks ahead. You can include a link to a wedding website if you have one that can inform guests about accommodations, etc.

However, save the dates do not in any way obligate guests to RSVP and are not intended for that purpose. Some people may tell you informally, but you really can't rely on that or on final numbers until it's official. RSVP dates should be set about a month ahead.

Now is the perfect time to send out STDs! I would include a link to your website on them. That way if guests know for sure if they can or cannot attend, they have the option to do so on the website. Do keep in mind though, a lot of people won’t RSVP until the last minute.

Now would be the perfect time to send save the dates as they typically go out about six months prior to the wedding. Whereas invitations don't go out until 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding. One thing to keep in mind though is that guests aren't expected to rsvp to a save the date. I would think worse case if you are under 100 in attendance you'd still just pay as if there is 100 people.

August bride here also! I’m sending out save the dates this week and planning to do invites around May or June. On my save the dates we have a “we are currently creating our guest list, so let us know how many in your household would like to attend!” Type of thing on it to give us a more accurate head count before we do the actual invites.

View Quoted Comment Awesome. Good idea. Where are you getting the save the dates from ?

View Quoted Comment I designed my own on Canva and purchased through them.

I'm curious what you would do if you can't hit the 100 person minimum?

We sent our save the dates a year early but because it was out of state to give people a heads up. I think this is the perfect time to send save the dates. I just wouldn’t wait much longer! Your invites should go out around early June

Always send save the dates as soon as you get the guest list and venue finalized, no later than 6 months before the wedding. While we were told to no end by friends and family who already married to prepare for 100% attendance because it happens more than people realize, we would never feel comfortable attempting to meet a minimum number of guests that the venue required. That was one of many reasons we decided against an all inclusive venue because the blank slate venues do not do that. There is no way to guarantee a minimum, because it’s also impolite according to traditional etiquette and still observed by many to have B lists for seat fillers.

View Quoted Comment Not sure what you mean. Save the dates are sent to those you intend to invite. They are meant as a heads up only, not for soliciting RSVPs or a guest list. The head count becomes accurate after you send invitations and receive RSVPs. Typically you get an average decline rate of about 15%. More if people are not that close to you in terms of location or relationship, less if everyone is local and quite close. B lists are not polite because it often comes out and people don’t like being a second tier choice.

View Quoted Comment We’re not sending save the dates to anybody we wouldn’t put on our guest list or invite, who said anyone’s a second tier choice. It’s something that’s working for us and no one’s getting offended because it’s not that deep. There’s no one way to do a wedding, if it’s not what works for you then don’t do it.

View Quoted Comment The B list was heavily implied. You have a minimum and want some people to commit to attending early, presumably so you can invite enough others to reach that minimum if you find out you’ll be short. My point was that’s really not possible to know that early or proper to ask. My advice is to make your guest list first, include the people you feel should be there, and choose a venue according to budget accordingly.


The comment about not using STDs to create a guest list was addressed to another poster.

It is definitely too soon to go right to invites.

My wedding is beginning of July, we just booked the venue this week and I am still going to do Save The Dates as long as we can get engagement pics done soon with our photographer (working on scheduling that now). My wedding is really tiny (20 people tops) so I don't mind if I send the STDs "too late", it's something I want to do lol our wedding is also over a holiday weekend so I want to give a bit of a heads up before the invitations.

I'd say you could definitely send Save The Dates if you want to. A lot of people take vacations in the summer so I'd want to get on everyone's radar before invites go out closer to the date. You could also mention your date via word of mouth to get a rough idea of who may be able to make it.

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Check out Basic Invite! I just did my save the dates through them and it took less than a week to get them in the mail. I also used them for invites to a baby shower I hosted last year, they have great designs that give you lots of options for customization. My favorite this is they will pre-print envelopes with addresses, so no hand addressing (my handwriting is horrible)

View Quoted Comment The website is basic invite?

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Yep, https://www.basicinvite.com/

View Quoted Comment How much did u end up spending on them?