Wedding Issues

Deposit or payment if the contract you signed said that money is non refundable sadly you are at a loss on this one which horribly sucks. I am so sorry. I can definitely tell you the wedding industry took a bit of a hit during COVID and vendors are not quick to give money back...I think that is the wedding industry overall because couples break up before the wedding or what not so they would lose a lot of money.

Could you have a 1 year anniversary party? Another option is to see if another couple would like your date and would buy you out of your contract.

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Our wedding planner from the venue has been wonderful and we've put him through hell with me being upset over this. He stated that we could have an anniversary party, baby shower, bridal shower. Can throw anything there and my instinctal thought is "damn I'm going to have a great baby shower." But then the very morbid thought of "what if we can't have kids" comes up. I'm at a loss and I have an attorney friend and everyone is telling me to go to the media and news and I'm trying not to be a "Karen" about these things but the money we were going to get back was going to go towards our house and my husband going to grad school and there is just a lot of things that we could've done with 8,000. I don't want to cut my losses but I'm struggling with how to handle this.

Weird idea...but do you know if anyone else getting married that would want to have their wedding there?? Or could you bring the idea up to the venue to see if they can “sell” your date essentially?? Otherwise it does sound like you’ll be out the money unfortunately.

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Hmmmm...also do you want public attention on you. I will say a friend of mine had a similar issue with her venue (met her here via WW) and someone in her state did go on the news as well to protest the unfairness of their venue not cancelling. You could do that but there is no guarantee the outcome will be what you want. I get it though, a lot can be done with $8000. I am really sorry but maybe see other options of what you can do to recoup the money. Was $8000 just for the venue or was that for catering and what not. Can you cut out those things?

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So the venue was doing the catering and everything. It honestly was just a 50% of the entire total and that's what the 8,000 was for when we paid it. Also my thought process on this is that we had our backyard reception and made about 4,000. Cut that to 4,000 that we "lost" and if we have another party there and at least hit 4,000 then we would "break even." It's so weird and I'm trying to think of any possible ways. Like you said, the wedding industry has taken a hit and I get it so much - but the venue is all booked up for next year, we had to book our back up date ASAP. So it's not like they aren't going to be holding weddings next year. I'm not sure if that's insensitive, I'm just trying to think of the bright side but I just can't see forfeiting that much money.

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We do know of one couple who was looking but they JUST got engaged and I would feel bad telling them about it. I mean it might be a good idea but I just feel like that would put a lot of pressure on them?

What do you mean by sell our date? I'm just not sure what that would mean -sorry!

View Quoted Comment Totally understand! And I mean if you reach out to the venue, maybe they’d be willing to open the date back up to allow someone else to book it. As long as they book the date maybe they’d be willing to give your money back?? Of course if they did agree, you’d have to get it in writing but just a thought.

By selling you’re date you can transfer the contract/date/funds to another couple for the date you reserved and they would pay you for your date (essentially the 8k you put down already).

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I mean I see your point and I would be upset too. I would not want to lose out on even $1,000. Sadly legally not sure much you can do but let's see what others here say. I am really sorry this happened to you. Worse case would $8,000 get you anything like a vow renewal party? Something simple??? It might be cheaper to fly in and stay the weekend and have a big party. I am always willing to come for free food but not sure anyone would give a second gift.

This does unfortunately seem like an instance where you'd be out that money. As PP mentioned, could you sell the date to another couple? Anyone you know, or even if the venue would work with you to sell it to someone else. If you look at any local FB bride groups, maybe you can post there saying you want to sell your contract. I imagine July 3rd is a pretty popular date so I'm sure you could get some bites somehow. I'm sorry and good luck

That is horrible... I would personally give them a terrible review so others are aware. The resort we had our planned wedding at kept our $1K, but said we could have a wedding when they opened back up- well we got married here in the states so we also lost money, but not $10K. Ugh. Best wishes!

My venue said the same thing to me which is why I’m postponing my wedding reception to be able to use the money what about a birthday party anyone have a big birthday soon? I know it totally sucks I wish I could cancel and get my money back and do it somewhere else cause of restrictions but these venues don’t seem to be giving anyone’s money back

I’m sorry you’re going through this and that is a lot of money I totally feel for you but unfortunately it was your decision to cancel and break a legally binding contract and they are under no obligation to refund you. I think it would be petty and wrong to go to the media or leave a bad review since it’s not within their control that you want to cancel. It sounds like originally they were very accommodating with postponing and have been communicative. If you don’t want to have your reception next year anymore that’s fine but it means you eat the costs. If it was me I would just have the planned reception!

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We sent an email to the supervisor to tell them that we techncially never signed a new contract with them and if with all the points we pointed out (it was a very long email written by one of my attorney friends) we are still unable to get our money back then we will have to just settle for having another event there. We discussed having a post-COVID party just to have one but then I'm not quite sure what that would entail. I guess we do have some options for the future.

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We went through absolute HELL planning this wedding and we decided that after all the stress that we went through with the small ceremony and reception we didn't want to go through with the big party. I get breaking the contract but it's the fact that they had nothing in place to protect us during this time. Like I said above I do not plan on going to the media or blasting them on social media. I've actually already reviewed my venue and told them how wonderful they made our day. I'm fully aware that this is the higher ups and I have told my wedding planner (who I'm having this discussion with via email) that we are not at all mad at him and he has gone above and beyond to make our day that much more special.

It's not within my control that we had to cancel either so I get your point but at the same time it's not that we called off the wedding because we split or that something else happened, we decided to not put anymore stress and money in because planning a wedding during a pandemic is probably the worst amount of stress I've ever been under. Doing it twice, no way.

View Quoted Comment Like I said I totally feel for you and that’s a lot of money. As someone also planning two weddings during covid (small next weekend and big next year) I fullllly understand your stress and frustration. Vent away! But deposits are built into the contract to protect the venue/vendor from couples canceling regardless of the reason. You were protected in a way that allowed for the contracted agreement to be moved to a different date presumably without fees or up charging you any new 2021 rates. Your feelings of frustration are totally valid but so is their resistance to refund you.

Unfortunately most venues do state that the deposits are non refundable. I know that some venues had sympathy and were giving deposits back, but they aren’t obligated to

Sorry but they’re right here. You cant just decide you dont want the wedding anymore, cancel, and expect your money back. If they were at fault, that would be totally different but doesnt look that way. Especially during this pandemic, some venues are straight up screwing people over and cancelling dates without giving money back. Sounds like they were trying to help you

That’s really terrible of the venue to do this to you. Sorry if someone else has mentioned it, but if there is no way to get the deposit back could you just look at doing a cocktail style event where you wouldn’t be contributing any more money- surely $8000 would cover a decent bar tab and canapés for guests? It would be a shame just to completely lose that money!

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Yes, all of this.

The original date did not work, so they offered you a new one. You are the one who chose to cancel when you had the option to postpone (and originally wanted to). I get WHY you cancelled...but not following through with the new date was your choice, not theirs. I don't think they did anything wrong.