Wedding loan

View Quoted Comment 🤣 Right??? Shaking my head.....

Taking out a loan for the wedding is completely ok as long as you can afford the payments on top of all other bills. My FH and I are paying for 80% of the wedding with our own money, 10% is coming from parent help and the other 10% is on a loan. I don't recommend having the whole 100% of your wedding cost be in a loan but if a small loan is needed then as long as you take responsibility for it then its ok. I think as PP have said your FH is just worried that this loan would fall on only him so just make sure you will help as well.

Please, please do not go into debt to pay for your wedding. If you said that you maybe can’t afford your DJ and you were going to use a credit card, I still would recommend being pretty careful, but it’d be a little less of a commitment to being in debt. I understand your struggle as I just finished grad school. But I promise, one day is NOT worth debt. Your day that you spend maybe $10,000 on could end up being a day you spend $18,000 after paying interest.

Why cant you have a small, affordable wedding right now and have a big party to celebrate or renew vows in a couple years? FH and I cut our guest list to only be close friends and immediate family and cut our expectations to get things into budget.

In my opinion i would never in my life take out a loan for a wedding. You plan for the wedding you can afford....or you wait to get married. Easy as that

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. Plus, consider what you are asking your FH to do - to jeopardize your HOUSE for an optional party. If he were to refinance the house to get cash out then that means the interest rate goes up as well as the payments. It also changes the nature of the loan which means that if the lender forecloses they could possibly come after him for any deficiency not recouped from a sale. What happens if he loses his job or his pay is no longer enough to pay the mortgage? He will resent you forever for pushing him to do this. Don't start your marriage with this potential for resentment and huge gamble on your home together. You two need to be on the same page with finances and make sure your priorities are the same BEFORE you get married.

I have to agree with everyone else here. Taking out a loan is a really bad financial decision. The interest rate will add to the overall debt you owe, so you will end up paying more in the long run for a party. Financial advisors even strongly caution against maxing out student loans if at all possible and to not take them out for living expenses. Compound interest is a killer and your debt amount will just continue to snowball. Figure out how you can cut some costs (cutting guest list is the easiest) and have the wedding you can afford to pay for. If its not enough, push back the date. Also, make sure you have multiple clear conversations about financial health with your fiance. It is so important to start off the marriage with a clear sense of how you will split the financial burdens, what your primary financial goals are, etc. You two need to be on the same page for all financial decisions.

To those of who you would never take out loan to pay to get married; none of you are clearly in that situation because you don't really know what you would or wouldn't do. Please really think about it: if your choice was to borrow a few thousand or go to the courthouse without any sort of celebration (no photographer, no small dinner afterwards), would you have waited three years? (That was my situation) You take a car loan to pay for a car (is that really a NEED? couldn't you take a bus most places or walk?) You take out loans to go to school (is that really needed)? You take out loans for houses, buy stuff on credit, lay away etc. I'm not trying to judge how you all spend your money, but taking out a loan for a wedding is one way to pay for it that an adult can make. And absolutely a person should discuss that decision with his/her FS. Yes, a person can wait to get married just like you could wait to buy a house or a car outright. If you didn't "start off your marriage in debt" then you are so blessed, but how many people truly have no debt (credit cards, car loans, mortgage, student, etc.) Like all those choices, using a loan to pay for a wedding is another choice.

He loves you so much that he's willing to refi the mortgage to help you pay for your dream wedding?! While he is working so hard to pay ALL of the bills so you can go to school?! Please think about that. You have real love in your life. Don't put this financial stress on him. It just might be the end of the gift you've given. Plan a smaller wedding or put the date off until you are working and can help pay the bills.

View Quoted Comment

Just because one isn't currently in a situation doesn't mean they don't know what they would do in said situation.

To answer your questions:

If your choice was to borrow a few thousand or go to the courthouse without any sort of celebration (no photographer, no small dinner afterwards), would you have waited three years?

I wouldn't borrow money or wait three years. I'd go to the courthouse to get married.

You take a car loan to pay for a car (is that really a NEED? couldn't you take a bus most places or walk?)

IMO, a car is a need. Public transportation isn't as readily available everywhere as it in the DC where you live. That being said, one should buy/lease something in their price range.

You take out loans to go to school (is that really needed)?

Once again, for a lot of careers it is a necessity. And weighing the pros/cons of a loan versus the salary you will make with said degree is very important.

On the flip side, a party is completely optional and not at all a need. You don't need to have a reception to get married.

View Quoted Comment I want to have a nice wedding but I'm sure we can cut some costs and save up for the big day

View Quoted Comment I would like to counter this. We were in exactly that position. We knew we could not afford a wedding (high cost of living area) and were going to go to the courthouse and call it a day. When we told our families this plan, they offered to contribute and insisted we have an actual wedding, so here we are. I actually would've already been married for a year if our original plan had come to fruition. I am grateful for the support our families have given us and am indeed excited, but I would have been just as happy (if not happier) putting the $8k we've personally spent into our house fund. Yes, some debt is justified. A car can absolutely be necessary depending on where you live (if I were to take public transport to work every day, it would literally require me to spend approximately 5 hours commuting and going from NJ to NYC to a different part of NJ). A car is also something that is used for years. Student loans, while not necessary, potentially lead to better job opportunities. A wedding is a 1 day party. The actual marriage is not what costs a lot of money. The reception is usually the big chunk of change. That party will not have an impact on your daily life. The financial burden associated with it will. If you do a basic cost-benefit analysis, the costs of taking out a loan for a wedding far outweigh the tangible benefits of it. You would be hard-pressed to find any financial advisor who would agree that taking out a loan for a wedding is a smart financial decision.

Please dont go into debt for your one big day! Push your date back if need or downsize your event. Its not about the amount of money you spend on your day. What is truly important is the love you share. And having the ones that mean most to you share that special moment with you!

I agree that it doesn’t sound like a good idea financially for you to take out a loan to cover wedding expenses, but only you really know your full financial situation. My FH has been covering the majority of our big bills like house payment, utilities, groceries, etc while I finished school the last two years so I understand. The financial situation caused a lot of issues in the beginning, even though he told me he was fine with me quitting my full-time job to focus on school, and it took a lot of communication to resolve and get to the underlying root of the disagreements. Have you and your FS sat down and discussed what you are both comfortable with for the wedding? I get you’re paying for it right now, but it’s his wedding too and getting married means combining two lives including finances (though I have known people who keep their finances separate). My FH doesn’t care about the wedding details and just tells me to do whatever I want, but our finances are joint and I wouldn’t ever presume just because I brought in $500 that I get to spend it however I want. It sounds like the two of you aren’t on the same page, I’d suggest discussing the wedding, finances, what he expects/wants and what you expect/want, what you are each comfortable with spending, etc. Good luck, and remember the point of the wedding is marrying the love of your life and celebrating your love with those that are important to you, it absolutely does not have to cost a fortune. Weddings on small budgets are totally doable, look for non-traditional venues, get creative, DIY or recruit friends/family to help.

You aren't going to get a lot of people coming in here to tell you they are taking a loan to pay for the wedding because there is so much shame around admitting to that, as you can see from these responses. It's ok, people can either be ok or not ok about it. It is interesting though the number of people who would NEVER take out a loan but also have parents to pay for their wedding. I don't think you can then say that you would never take on debt for a wedding in that case.

I'm not taking out a loan for our wedding and we are paying for it ourselves, but I don't think it is necessarily the most evil thing you can do. If I were going to do it, I would do what I could to cut back on guest list and expenses and secure a small loan. Look at the payment and choose something you can afford to pay back relatively quickly. People take on debt for all sorts of reasons to pay for things they don't have the money for all the time. Just do your best to be smart about it so you can get it paid off.

I know you must have a vision for your wedding but going to debt for it isn’t worth it. I’d agree with everyone else and say avoid the loan. I think your options would be reducing the wedding budget (number of guests, different catering, less expensive venue) or pushing the wedding back to give you more time to save up! How you and your FS decide to pay for the wedding (out of whose bank account) is a personal decision.

View Quoted Comment

What great advice and similar to what I tried to point out. We take out loans for all sorts of things; is a loan for a wedding the best option? Probably not, but is it the same as killing puppies (as in pure evil)? Also probably not.

View Quoted Comment I understand where you’re coming from, but your comparisons are not anywhere near the same thing, you’re comparing apples to oranges. In my area, yes a car is an absolute need. We do not have public transportation and no I cannot walk 25 miles one way with my 3 and 5 year old to take them to school. A car is also a piece of property that has monetary value and can be sold to recoup some of what you spent on it. A mortgage for a house is a responsible thing to do if you can afford it because you build equity and you have something concrete that you own, versus renting and paying someone else’s mortgage with nothing to show for it. Depending on where you live and the market your house may be worth more than you pay for it in a few years. Practically no one would own a house if they waited until they could afford to buy one outright.

A wedding and reception are a single day with no monetary value. Whether you have your dream wedding or it’s an absolute train wreck all you walk away with are the memories and potentially pictures/videos. Not everyone gets financial help from family, not everyone can afford to spend or wants to spend a good size down payment on a house on a wedding instead. If I had to choose between my house or my dream wedding, my house that I will live in for probably the next 15 years would win every single time. In 15 years I can’t recoup anything I spent on my wedding, but I can sell my house to buy another one somewhere else. Same with a car.

View Quoted Comment In very few circumstances is it loan courthouse or bust. But MOST of us brides here have had compromises and concessions based on cost. We cut 50 people from our guestlist as we couldn’t afford them (versus taking out a loan to cover them). And throughout life, there have been plenty of things I havent had the luxury of affording. Of course a loan for a wedding or a wedding at all is just a choice, everything is a choice, but some choices are smarter than others . A loan you can’t necessarily pay back strikes me as a bad choice, compounded by a non-necessary expense. If I was the OP and wanted a loan to pay for my wedding, the only circumstance in which I’d consider this is when I was out of school and working full time and could spare a good portion of my salary to paying off the loan. Part of the reason this particular circumstance in question strikes most of the responders as so dangerous as in the context of the question, the OP describes the potential for needing help from her FH at making the payments — to which I say that taking a loan you don’t know that you can pay back is always a dicey idea and a bit more drastic than some other circumstances shared by posters possibly including yourself where a loan could come into play. To me there’s also a difference between taking a loan you know you can pay off (for a party, for anything), versus taking a loan where most of your living expenses are being paid via loan already, and paying off a loan with a loan is a rather slippery slope.

With regards to a wedding in particular, there are many cut-able corners — guestlist, meal, entertainment, beverages, time of day, day of week, date in general, etc so the general advice is to exhaust all other options first. Most brides need to compromise, most brides begin wedding planning only to realize their ‘dream’ may be somewhat unrealistic and things need to change. Many people delay the wedding date to save money. I had a pretty long engagement, and frankly recommend that. From my perspective, we had no need to rush, we were solid and stable together and would celebrate and make it official when life circumstances allowed (in fact we filed for domestic partnership a year or so in advance of the wedding for insurance reasons, and otherwise didn’t feel the rush to get married in advance of a little financial stability). And still we had to make a number of decisions based on finances.

I would not take a loan out for a wedding. For my car, yes, because that's the only mode of transportation available to get to work, where I earn money to pay for said car. The most expensive part of the wedding is the reception because of food and alcohol. Why not have a cake and punch reception to cut costs? Also, I do clearly know what I would do if I were in this situation because I basically am. We don't have a lot of money to throw an elaborate party, so we are doing something small, that we can afford without taking out a loan.

View Quoted Comment I'd absolutely get married in a courthouse if I knew my other option was going into debt.

If there were a way for me to walk 30 miles to work and back home every day, that'd be great. But thats a little unreasonable. I did wait to buy a new car until I could put 50% down, and paid it off in under a year.

This morning I bought my first house. I've been saving for it for the last 15 years. And I refused to buy until I had 20% down so I wouldn't have to throw money away on a PMI.

I paid tens of thousands of dollars back in student loans. And if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have gone to college. I'd much rather have that money in my pocket. Added to my downpayment, it would have paid for the house.

In fact, the biggest problem with marrying my fiance is me being worried because he has a credit card and student loan debt. Any gift money we might get? It's going to pay off his debt.

I'm giving her this advice because I've found myself drowning in debt. I dont want her to have to experience it.