Wedding loan

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#1: I haven't always lived in DC. I lived in Dallas and didn't have a car. So I've done the 2 hours on public transit one way to get to work. I've also lived in Philadelphia without a car and overseas. #2: buying a house is not always better than renting. It depends a LOT on where you live, the housing market, the rental market, your interest rate etc. Over a million people lost their homes in the 2008 crash when the housing market collapse and even more found themselves in a reverse mortgage (meaning the mortgage cost more than the value of the house). So like other decisions, also buying a house is a financial choice this good and a better value in most circumstances but not 100% of the time.

We all make choices all the time on how and where to spend money and those decisions are influenced by LOTS of things besides what is the "official" best financial decision. Some people regret taking out loans to go to school, pay for a wedding, etc. I don't regret going to an expensive private college or law school. I don't regret using loans to pay for a portion of my wedding. Those were all decisions I made at the time based on a slew of factors and what made sense for me.

A wedding has value, even it's not financial value. If a wedding reception had no value in our society than why would anyone spend time and money planning one? The fun of throwing a party is part of that value, but so is seeing friends and family you may only see once a year (or less) and celebrating a life-long commitment with someone. I weighed those non-monetary values with the expense of taking on more debt.

View Quoted Comment I never suggested that it was impossible to not have a car without a reliable public transit system but if you have responsibilities outside of work it is often unrealistic to spend 12+ hours of a 24 hour day (including the commute) on work and not drop the ball on your other responsibilities. If you can make it work more power to you but comparing a car loan to an optional party is still ridiculous for a large portion of the population.

The 2008 crash is an outliner that doesn’t represent the norm. You would be hard pressed to find a financial advisor with a legitimate fiduciary duty that would suggest that renting is a more financially sound decision over buying if you are planning on staying in one area for more than a few years and can afford a down payment.

You yourself say say that you don’t regret taking out loans to go to school so again that is a ridiculous thing to compare to an optional party. School loans provide a legitimate financial benefit to your future so the interest that you pay on them does make sense to accumulate.

There are are plenty of ways to get married/have a wedding without accumulating interest and plenty of ways to see friends and family without going into debt. If you decided that paying interest on a party made sense for you that’s your prerogative, but that doesn’t make it a financially responsible decision. And that doesn’t mean that others would make the same decision if they were in your position (as you suggested in your original comment)

Rebecca -
Firstly congrats. It's an exciting time.
Secondly, people who claimed not to go into debt for their wedding, I'm sure a lot used credit cards at some point. That is debt. Often vendors require a credit card to secure dates.
Next, if you can, use credit cards to your advantage. Personal loans can charge over 30% interest and take years to pay. While you can take out a credit card get 0% interest for months, get rewards, then cash in those rewards, switch to another credit card company transfer balance and get 0% for several months and different rewards. While this is an option...I suggest pushing back the wedding another 5 or 6 months.

Find a reasonable priced venue. Check parks and rec for buildings in your area to rent. Most cities have beautiful venues at their city center or local parks. I'm not talking about some janky dark space either. It may take a lot more planning on your part but in the end you won't pay service fee for the space, typically the venue itself is cheaper, and most don't charge a ceremony site fee. That could be $1000 (or more especially with service fees) savings right there. Dont be afraid to look places 30-45 minutes away.
Good food doesn't have to be expensive food. Feed them the best tasting menu that you can afford.
Skip the limo and party bus. Wasteful spending. If transportation is a must and you want something unique, rent a school bus. It's good for a laugh, fun old school bumpy ride, great pic opportunity, gets the job done, and is inexpensive.
Be creative with your day no matter what. Think outside the box. Make memories and only take on debt you can afford. Good luck!

I agree 💯. Do not go into debt for one day. Save $ and comprimise. Sit down and discuss what's most important to you and spend the money on that. Good luck.

Try to pay for as much as you can out of pocket! Don't take out a loan!

I’ve read a decent amount (but not all) of the comments. In the interest of helping your marriage beyond your wedding day, don’t take out a personal loan, be extremely cautious and well-informed with credit options, AND don’t make decisions without your other half.

Interest is always money lost, and unless you plan on paying aggressively on ALL loans, you will likely end up paying more than necessary and prolonging being broke. As someone who used to pay just the minimum on even a $2k private school loan, I ended up paying almost an equal amount of interest on top of that principal, which was a terrible realization. If you find a loan that’s 6 months or whatever, 0% interest and you can (and WILL) pay it off in that time, take the option to your other half. Do not make that decision behind his back because that’s just not nice and it’ll cause major heartache later on.

Credit cards will often charge interest on unpaid balances, so while you CAN go that route, you need to know all of the fine print and dates of your account cycle, etc. Also, it lowers your credit score for about a year if you take out a new one. Do your homework and present to partner so you both know whether it’ll work for you.

I’d highly suggest talking finances with your partner. I personally hated doing it with mine, but I knew that if we didn’t come up with a plan to tackle all of my debt, I’d be 100% F-ed and ashamed. We laid out all of my expenses, down to the cent I paid on Pandora or coffee. From there, you can see what you actually spend money on, and it might surprise you how much you spend on things (my shocker was a newspaper subscription that cost me $16 per month and an insurance add-on that was $20 I didn’t need to pay). So, again, talk with your other half, do your homework and read all the fine print, and know that the day is only a teeny part of the good stuff.

View Quoted Comment You’re a bit confused about mortgages. A reverse mortgage does not mean that you owe more than the house is worth. If you are in that situation, it’s called being “upside down”. A reverse mortgage is something retired people do if they want to live off the equity or value of their home.
Crashes like the one that happened in 2008 are not a good reason to avoid homeownership. They are very rare. In general, the market will go up and down. If you are smart and patient, real estate is one of the best investments you can make. People will always need a place to live.
What is not a good investment? A party that has absolutely no return potential. Still, if you don’t have a lot of other debt and your future spouse agrees, take a loan if you want. The problem here is that the OP mentioned that the loan idea has already caused arguments between her and her fiancé. Money is the number one reason for divorce. NUMBER ONE. Personally, I would not risk my relationship for the sake of a party.

View Quoted Comment If your soon to be husband does not want to and he would need to help you pay it off it is not fair to him. It is kind of like using his money with out asking him. or asking and using it on something he said no to. That is not fair or respectful to hIm.

Have you considered getting married a bit later in 2020? It would give you a chance to save money and not go into debt for your wedding. Loans seem like a good idea until you have to pay them back.

View Quoted Comment I'm one of those people who truly have no debt. I chose not to get a credit card because I knew I couldn't afford to support one. I've had a bank account for about seventeen years and each time I've considered getting one, I don't for the same exact reason. I'm very lucky to have had people pay my rent, since I can't afford it on my own. I am only able to work part time when I do have a job. Two jobs didn't support my living expenses. Even the government assistance I have been receiving for years wasn't enough. FH pays the rent. I've never leased a car before. Every single car I have had was a hand-me-down from a family member, though I do contribute $106 monthly for insurance directly from my bank account to the insurance account. I set it up electronically on a selected date, so I'm never late on the payment. I used to pay for my own internet, cable and TV until I moved in with FH. My parents took out a loan years ago to send me to college, but I wasn't able to finish and couldn't pay it myself, so they had to do it.

There is nothing wrong with taking out loans for necessities, or even a small loan to help pay for a wedding. I think that pps are concerned with the idea of taking out a student loan for something other than what a student loan is intended for. As you said, the government doesn't always track how you spend the money, but it leaves room for the potential that they might down the road. For example the government doesn't track how the money they send me is used, but they do keep track of the amount I keep in my bank account, including other assets I may have such as stock. If I go over a certain amount of income each month, I risk losing my benefits. When I get married, the income of my husband and my own income will be looked at as one income, even if we keep them in separate accounts, and I may lose most to all of my benefits.

It may not feel like they are tracking the money. Maybe they aren't since it was a small loan. However, the point is that they CAN track the money and will track it if they want to.

View Quoted Comment What Maggie said is so important. This is the red flag I'm seeing.

Definitely a no. Do not take out a loan for a party. You'll regret it later. Also, try not to overcharge a credit card. We're using credit cards for points and rewards, but paying it off monthly, so there's no interest on our party.