Wedding Loans

Jamie - you can't look at what other parents have done for other couples and think the same is going to happen in your case. Look - I'm new to wedding planning as well but I know that my expenses - ANY expense - is MY responsibility, not my parents or anyone else's. A wedding is a luxury, not a necessity.

I said this on a post earlier today, but I'll repeat it. My father SAID he was going to give me $5k towards the wedding and he would deposit $500 a month into my account until I had the entire amount. That lasted two months - he got very ill while in the Bahamas earlier this month and he can't give me the money at this time because he has to pay his gf back the money due to cancelled flights and hotels.

What did I do? Ask him how he's feeling. I didn't panic and go into stress mode because FH and I budgeted for the wedding we could afford. Maybe you didn't do that first. I get it - if you don't know, you don't know, but surely you are of the mindset that your expenses are your responsibility, right?

Oh of course @GymRat I wasn't relying on parents at all, I don't have either unfortunately but I'm not and wasn't looking for sympathy...was just wondering if people did them and what ones they used...

I am so sorry to hear about your fathers illness and hope he is well now or getting better for sure...

I definitely didn't plan the medical issue I had...but life happens.

Thank you - he's fine now. I just spent a crazy amount of money on a dental implant, so I get it.

But I say listen to other people's advice and try to talk to your vendors or see if you can change the date. I'm against taking out a loan or opening up a cc because of the interest you'll pay. You're going to pay so much more than the original debt. I hope you're okay now.

Think about it like this as well; weddings cost enough as it is so why spend even more than the ticket price by paying interest on this?!?

Definitely review your contracts and see if you can move things. Losing $1500 (for example) for a deposit is the same thing as spending an extra $1500 in extra interest but losing the deposit means the buck stops there. Paying the interest means that you've paid the deposit + the rest + the interest. In some cases, it may be cheaper to lose the deposit.

Jamie, I get it-- you were already in this process, you've put money on vendors that will be lost if you cancel, and still I would advise against the loan. Talk to the vendors-- they may be happy to give you credit for your deposits as long as you use them when you finally do get married, especially if you explain your situation.

Nooooooo don't do that! Have the wedding you can afford. One day isn't worth being in debt over

ETA: spelling. I don't think we can go "in debit" lol

@rebecca Honestly.. Its not worth it to go into debt so you can avoid saying "I wish I would have had that..." some years down the road. My wedding was beautiful and lovely, definitely not extravagant. There will ALWAYS be something else you can buy. Something you can upgrade. In every aspect of life. This rationalisation seems crazy to me. It seems on the line of saying "damn these designer shoes are gorgeous, but way out of my budget. Im just going to charge them anyway so I don't regret not buying them later". This kind of thinking spells major financial disaster.

I leave this one for the especially stupid questions...

We've had to replace the radiator on our vehicle, and pay a huge medical expense too. I get that it's hard, but these things happen in life quite a bit, that's why you have to prepare for them.

A loan is just going to send you further into the dirt pit and put stress on your wedding day. It would be better to have a cheaper, stress free wedding.

ETA typo

Jamie S. with only one income at the moment I would agree with talking with vendors. Some are willing to work with people through hard times. Do not take out a loan. You don't know how long it will take to find another job and the added stress of a wedding loan wouldn't be a good for anyone. The loss of deposits would suck but the long term loan interest you would pay may be even more than the original deposits.

Student, car, or home loans ONLY. Get a part time job. Cut some unnecessary expenses. But don't get a loan for a PARTY.

No

Good

Loans.

Don't do it.

There are no good ones to apply for. They are all terrible. Finds way to cut costs or push back your date. While you're at it you might want to look up some free personal finance info online.

Have a wedding that you can actually pay for. Don't get into extra debt. Not a great way to start a marriage.

I'm really sorry about your medical issues. Hope you're doing ok now. Hopefully you can work something out with your vendors, but you can still be just as married without a wedding. Maybe a small elopement ceremony and dinner with family and close friends...that can still be just as beautiful. Then maybe you could plan a nice vow renewal later.

God forbid that you pay for YOUR wedding on YOUR own. Have the wedding you can afford and only that. Don't go asking anyone for hand outs or applying for loans. If you can't afford the wedding you want, then you need to wait a few years.

There are still plenty of ways you can cut costs at this point. Can you move your wedding to the middle of the afternoon and have a cake and punch reception rather than a full meal? Can you go with a less expensive catering package? Offer only beer and wine instead of a full bar. Instead of floral centerpieces do some DIY ones. If you've already booked a florist, can you go with smaller bouquets with less expensive flowers?

Cut out the favors, programs, menus, etc. Cut out any linen upgrades or extras, photobooth, uplighting, etc. Will your photographer give you a reduced rate for less time if you skip some of the getting ready pictures or he leaves the reception early?

Most of us are paying ourselves and none of us have an unlimited budget. Users on this site will often have great ideas on how to reasonably cut costs if we have more info about your wedding.

...being off work for 2 months drained your wedding savings completely, you are complaining about paying for your wedding yourselves, and you previously thought having mommy and daddy pay was normal?

How old are you? Serious question.

@grumpycatrebecca has good advice. Maybe post the details of the wedding and people can help brainstorm ideas to cut costs. Don't beat yourself up thinking that it was normal for parents to pay for a wedding still. Depending on how old you, your background I can see how that could be a perception. At my age and in my area of Dallas it would seem like that is the norm as well but it is not anymore. My advice is do more research on traditions and norms for today before you post to avoid getting the backlash in the future. I also agree with everyone else. DO NOT TAKE OUT LOANS. Look up Dave Ramsey if you start with the baby steps you may bounce back quicker financially.

Our wedding came out of our own pockets also. We had a 1 1/2 year engagement to make sure we had zero debt for our wedding. Don't finance this event. Extend your engagement or cut your guest list.