Wedding night and 2 yr old baby?

This is definitely a culture thing, as most American babies sleep in their own beds from the start and their own rooms by a few months. Sorry I can't be helpful, but be prepared for some incredulity.

It is definitely a cultural thing. However, if your husband is American, you should be ready to protect your marriage. In other words, there should be time for you and your husband, and the time for you as a family.

I've got one friend who is a similar position. Her marriage is starting to suffer and all her other relationships as well. I'm truly not saying this for any judgmental reasons but the fact is that people need some adult time too. And I don't only mean "hanky".

Don't count on not having the energy on the night of :-)

Oh my you have your hands full. My oldest son who is now 10 slept in my bed until he was 4 and I wouldn't dare do it again with my now 18 month old and it is wonderful. I think you should start weening him now. So it wont be bad when you go on your honeymoon.

My take would be that if he's not the bio dad, well that shouldn't be a factor.

Also, I think talk to your FH about the matter..Also it's a personal choice as a parent..also as Ryan mentioned different cultures..

I know my DH would not like it, and neither would I (we actually randomly discussed this today earlier)..as for the wedding night it wouldn't be a big deal I don't think..but especially if there is nobody you trust to leave him with..But it could impact your intimate relationship down the road too..I would worry that FH would resent the fact over time (since you said you want your son to sleep there for two more years)..your FH may say he's okay with it, but not let on how much it would bother..unless you guys get "alone" time away from the bed/another room when your son sleeps with pillows around him so he doesn't roll off.

He should def be sleeping in his own bed. I never let my kids sleep with me...He will be fine in his own bed, in his own room. Sounds like you have seperation issues...but with a husband coming, you need to get ready to sleep with him, not a child.

as far as the wedding night goes...I was tired after everything was over, but Mister said something to me that perked me right up..."you only get ONE wedding night". Make it a memorable one.

let the baby stay with your parents...they raised you and you turned out okay. One night won't kill you or your son.

He's Canadian, lol. We both are. Actually all three of us are but you're right, it is somewhat cultural too, I tried the crib when he was first born but it was so much easier to get sleep without having to peel myself out of bed every hour when he woke up for feedings.

So the baby will have his own room so we can put him to sleep with us in his room, we sleep in our own and then have a monitor in case he gets up or whatever through the night. But that's after a month or so of marriage so he can get used to living there (we won't be living together til the day of the wedding) so we don't bombard too many changes on him all at once.

You guys had me thinking and I realized he sleeps fine for his naps when he's with my mom and I'm at school. So nighttime shouldn't be hard given that he ll be tired from the wedding too, brand new room and space (kids seem to like that.)

@ Ryan, LOL at the incredulity.

I agree it is a cultural thing as well as personal. My son slept in my bed until he was about 2. He was a freaking wiggle worm and kept me up.

If your FH does not mind, leave it be. But maybe, just for one night (example: wedding night) allow him to spend the night at a family members house just so you have one night as man and wife? That's up to you and FH though.

As a parent that co slept with both boys and my youngest still sleeps in our room and he is 4...You need time at least the night of the wedding for you and your FH...its not fair to him (fh) to have your son with you the night of the wedding. I know thats hard but it will be best for you and FH...

I definitely think that the age of 3 is too old for him to be sleeping in your bed. And yes, I do think it's odd that he sleeps with both of you if your FH isn't his biological father. I think waiting until he is 5 is way too long! He'll be climbing out of your bed to go to school...

He is at the age where he really needs to get some independence- and that means sleeping in his own room. You need to get him slowly into it- maybe start napping in his own room, then you sleep on the floor in his room for a few days. Then, have stay with him until he falls asleep and then go to your bed.

I'd have a family member take him for the night- and get him excited about it! Make it like a special trip and have the family member be really excited about it to!

My son slept in the bed with me until he was 3. For the first year it was more convenient because I breastfed, the last two years was because it was so difficult for me to get him out of the bed with me. You still have some time to get him used to sleeping alone before your wedding night that way you could at least have some private time together.

My son slept with me until I got married, he was three years old at that time, because he was always comfortable with my parents I left him there for the 3 days that we were on our honeymoon, when we were living together as a new family, my son slept on a mat on my side of the bed for a few month, then we started putting him in his own bed in his room, but allowed him to bring his blanket and pillow into our room if he woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn't long before he slept through the night in his own bedroom. I know of several families who share the family bed even longer than 5 years, and their kids are all fine. One of those families the father was also the stepparent-still no issues. If he's fine with it then don't worry about what other people think

See, I would do the room thing but I don't have an extra room for him to sleep in at the moment, bc I live with my parents. So I can't get him used to it til after we move.

But I really do appreciate that you guys are making me feel better about making him sleep separately.

I felt guiltyish ... I've never had to balance between being a wife and a mother simultaneously. So it's a little ... Confusing. I know that may sound dumb to all you brave souls who do it day in day out.

I won't be dropping him off for any sleepovers but I'm ok to put him to sleep in the next room.

My son called my fiance by his first name the whole time we were dating, but immediately after the ceremony he called him daddy for the fiirst time, they have been close ever since. Even with the divorcre and all, they still have a good relationship and I'm glad for that, because even though we didn't make it as a couple he was and still is a good father. My son is 29 years old now,

Ok My son is two, and he also sleeps with me everynight, and I love it, FH not so much. But it's your wedding night and seriously it should just be the two of you. One night wont hurt..... Your husband and you need some time alone. And you never know, you might just find some energy, esp not with your toddler there in the bed with you guys.

Thank you, Meta. The mat idea seems very feasible.

Pearl, I love it too. But I totally hear you abt the needing time to ourselves.

I co-slepted with all 4 of my little ones. my youngest is 23 months and still nurses ALL the time.. ( I do the whole attachment parenting, co-sleep babywear breast feed ect.. ) I think it is great that your FH is ok with him co-sleeping even when he is not biologically his. Even as a big AP mpm, I do think for your wedding night, if your son can handle it, you both deserve a night to yourselves..

My Son just turned 3, & while he does sleep in our room, he has his own little bed on the floor. I know how hard it is to get them to sleep in their own room/bed so I didnt want to make it harder by letting him sleep in our bed.

We also have a 12 yr old who he would share a room with, & we only allow him to sleep in our room because we dont think its fair to have our older son listen to him scream & cry at night when he has to get up for school the next day.

Good for you for being ok with putting him in his own room, Hopefully it will be exciting, if for any chance its hard on him, DO NOT GIVE UP, It will be harder on all of you in the long run if you give in & let him sleep with you in the new home.

Start a routine, dinner, bath time, story time bed time!!

I don't have kids but I do have god children, plus I have my fh point of view, so if you wish, take this w a grain of salt....

Fh says however long your child sleeps in bed is however long the mans not getting laid. Now, I don't know if your relationship is sexually active. But let's face it, the bed is better than the shower or wherever. And I think all too often, mothers tend to forget the privacy and intimacy men need, without children around. I'm speaking all this from my married friends (w kids) points of view. Relationships sometimes end up on the backburner cuz of kids. I think it's also important to remember, even tho the wedding is a family celebration, the wedding night is for you & fh. If your bring your kid, that night might not be so great. I don't think the shower is romantic, its just convenient. Trust your family to watch you kid, give your fh some intimate time. Take the moment to realize you don't just have a child, you're going to have a husband too, and that husband needs attention seperately