Wedding or Courthouse Wedding

Only you and your FS can decide that. If you can't host 50 guests (per your previous post) I would not invite 50 people.

If having a "traditional" small wedding isn't that important to you, then I would absolutely have a courthouse wedding and focus your funds elsewhere! That doesn't mean you have to minimize the importance of your wedding day at all, you can still get a beautiful dress and have your hair/makeup/nails done, it'll just be for you and your FH instead of a group of people

I don't like being the center of attention either, but having an actual wedding is an experience I personally didn't want to miss out on! You just have to make the best decision for you and your FH's wants/needs. Wishing you the best in whichever you decide to do!

That is totally up to you. If you don't want the big wedding party then save for a house and maybe have a housewarming later. But if you want some of those things some of us dreamed of, there are ways to cut costs. It all depends on you, your fiancé, and what works best for your life together.

Those aren't the only two choices. If you don't like the impersonality of the courthouse, for example, you could hire an officiant to come to your home but still have a ceremony just for the two of you and any required witnesses. Conversely, you could have a courthouse ceremony, but then have a reception afterward for 50 people. Or you could have some number in between just required witnesses and 50 people (e.g., just immediate families).

The real question is balancing what is important to you with the cost. Maybe that means just a courthouse wedding and putting all your money into the house. Maybe it means a 50-person wedding and waiting a bit on the house. Maybe it means something in between, balancing the cost of the wedding and the cost of the house. Only you can know what is important to you.

Husband and I did a court house thing because buying a house was a priority at the time. We are throwing a party with a vow exchange for our 5th anniversary.. that's an option too!
Personally, and that is clearly what i thought and still think is a much smarter option is to invest money (buy a house for instance) instead of throwing it on a party if you are unable to do both.... I am so glad we did just that. I would hate myself if we spent all our money on a big wedding and still had to live in the apartment. 2 cents

With thinking of finances and your preference on not having much attention, I highly recommend you focus on saving for a house and have a courthouse wedding. You can always host a party for your one year anniversary at your new house and/or have a luncheon or dinner with close friends and family the evening of your courthouse wedding.

Courthouse weddings are beautiful. Being much older I would have the courthouse wedding and focus on your house, your future if I were you. 🙂

It's a very personal decision and only you and your FH know what works best for both of you. My FH and I originally planned on having a simple courthouse wedding, but then I changed my mind and decided to have a formal church wedding. I totally regret that now. It would have saved so much time, stress and money if we stuck to our original plan. So I'm going to be a little biased saying go for the courthouse!

If you go the courthouse route, you can also elope if you want a beautiful location! That's what we decided to do. Whether or not you should do either or though is a very personal decision you and your FH need to discuss. Would he be okay with a more intimate ceremony without his friends and family to witness?

View Quoted Comment He is up for just the courthouse thing. Less stress.

I had the same conversation with my FH. My family is extremely small (6 people total 🙃) and his family is much larger. I was thinking of a courthouse wedding with immediate family only, but ultimately decided on the small wedding. It's about 50 people, almost all are family. Even with that size, we are still struggling to keep it under $15,000, so if you both agree on a courthouse wedding, you could save a lot of money to use toward a house!

You can always do a court house wedding and have a small get together with close friends and family, a laid back even like pig roast etc to save ALOT of money.

You could do a courthouse ceremony with immediate family only then treat up to 50 guests to a nice brunch at a restaurant. Best of both if you don’t want to say your vows in front if a lot of guests but still want to celebrate with everyone?

If brunch at a restaurant is too expensive, you could do a cake & punch reception at a house at a non-meal time (like 2 or 3 pm).

I am having a small intimate wedding at a restaurant for 30 people. Ceremony and reception at same location. It is getting stressful trying to make sure every thing is ready. I’ve already cut things to bring down costs. It will be all family and couple friends. I would just go to an officiant that has a small area very well decorated for a ceremony just you two, or include parents and siblings. One that has an all inclusive package. Spend your money on your future.

That is something that is totally up to you and FH. This is the 2nd time for both of us and we were originally going to the courthouse but changed our minds and are having something small and intimate...85 guests total which isnt small to most but for our HUGE families and i do mean huge it is small we are keeping it under the small budget we set too. We will be purchasing a home within the next 2 years which was our normal plan anyway.

There’s elopement only venues where all you do is show up in your wedding clothes, bring your papers and your rings, they’re usually at beautiful inns with gardens. They usually include photography and dinner/accomodations at the inn. We strongly considered this route.

It depends on how important having a wedding is to you and your fiance. If it's not a big deal, I say just get married, skip the wedding, and focus on the house. But if having a wedding and reception excites either of you, have a small one ☺

I’m getting married in the courthouse in a little over two weeks. We just want to be married and want it to be about just us. So, we are going to do that and then save up some extra money and have a reception next year. I’m wearing a simple but pretty long white dress actual wedding day and a gold dress for the reception next year, we’ll renew vows and stuff for family that isn’t coming to the court. You do whatever you want to do, but there are options!!