Wedding Party not cooperating

Don’t make them do a dancing entrance if they don’t want to. I’ve been a BM where the big entrance was expected. I didn’t dance my way in, even though some BMs and GMs did.

As far as the hair, I’m confused why it matters if any of the girls wear their down and curly just because you are. Some women don’t like wearing their hair up. Let them wear their hair how they want.

View Quoted Comment Well I just feel like their hairstyle shouldn't be the exact style I'm doing. Why would I want to have the same hair as my bridesmaids?

You can’t tell them how to do their hair unless you’re paying for it. You’ll clearly stand out, you’ll be the one in white.

View Quoted Comment Are you paying for their hair if you’re requiring they wear it (or don’t wear it) a certain way? If it bothers you that much, just nicely ask them if they mind wearing it a different way.

Why would you want to ask the people who are your nearest and dearest (the wedding party) to do something they are not comfortable doing? Have them walk and you and your husband can dance your way to super stardom.

If you want to dictate their hairstyles, you pay for their services.

I think you need to take a deep breath, and not let the stress of wedding planning get to you. Hopefully you will find a bilingual officiant and DJ. Where are you getting married?

It’s your wedding day and a sacred moment for you and your partner. They should be thankful that you are allowing them to be part of it. You can tell them what to do and how to do because it is YOUR DAY! Maybe it’s just me but from the beginning my wedding party knew that things weren’t up to debate and I did not pay for anything. I think you also have to think about if these people really have your best interest at heart if they aren’t willing to compromise and do things to see you happy.

Don't make them dance if they don't want to. I do see your point about hair - but unless you're paying for it, you can't dictate.

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All of this is not right.

The honour of having your friends in the wedding party is to honour their friendship. In other words it's you being thankful for them.

You must check budgets for expenses before dictating dresses for your BM's. If you're requiring hair and makeup, you should pay for it. If it's optional, then they can opt to pay. Special shoes are also on you to provide, if that's what you want..

ps- no dancing entrances.

View Quoted Comment Just, no. Awful attitude to have.

OP, you don’t have the right to make people do things they’re uncomfortable with. Dancing down the aisle can be extremely tacky and even uncomfortable for guests to watch. It is something that would be embarrassing for many people, and you should respect that. If you have an issue with those bridesmaids or groomsmen not listening to your commands, go right ahead and tell them. Be aware, though, that it is majorly a bridezilla attitude and you should prepare to lose friendships if you choose to treat them like puppets for your day. You and your FH should have asked these people to be part of your day because you care about having them in your lives. Their comfort should matter to you.

View Quoted Comment Wow, that's a charming attitude to have towards those who should be your nearest and dearest. You are to be honoring the relationships, not the other way around.


Keep in mind the only behaviors and attitudes you can control are your own. Aim to honor those around you and you'll have a much better time of planning and will better enjoy your wedding

View Quoted Comment Lol @ they should be thankful they’re “allowed” to be a part of it.

View Quoted Comment What a horrid attitude you have towards your friends. I'd rather my friend not have me in her wedding if she felt like you. Fyi, they're honoring you by standing up for you on your big day so thus you should be thankful to them. Op, don't make anyone do a silly like dance. Those that want to can ham it up. None of your guests will sit there thinking it's odd that one bridesmaid danced and the other didn't.

And to add in, all my bridesmaids wore their hair down. It didn't matter. We all looked gorgeous.

I say do a grand entrance for only the ones that are comfortable doing it.

Sounds like you are worried that your bridesmaids aren't thinking for themselves when it comes to hair styles. If they want it professionally styled maybe give them a few ideas ones that are taylored to their hair type. Show that you are thinking of them and also to help them decide. It can be kind of overwhelming with all the different styles out there.

As for the officiant I know friendors are frowned upon but you might have an impossible suitation...Could you find one that speaks English and ask someone (Family, friend, a local spanish teacher) to translate? Of course I would suggest giving them a nice gift or compensation for their time.

As for music I think you should just let your DJ know the situation. If they are a true professional they should know how to keep the party going. Also your family and friends should already know you are an interracial coupple and expect for your ceremony and reception to reflect that. I wouldn't worry about people being bored. Embrace your unique relationship and that you are blending two cultures.

View Quoted Comment Are you kidding me?

“I don’t care if you don’t like dancing with everyone watching and a DJ announcing your name Sarah, IT’S MY DAY. And you’re lucky I let you be a part of it!”

I hope you’re nicer to your friends in real life than you just came off being on here.

View Quoted Comment I agree completely

Why would you want your loved ones to be uncomfortable and embarrassed on your wedding day? The whole point of them being in your bridal party is to honor them and the special relationship that you have. I think you need to re-evaluate your priorities if your "vision" is more important than your loved ones being happy and comfortable. Let the people who want to do a big entrance do it, and let the ones who don't do what they want.

Honestly, nobody cares about the wedding party entrance. Why are you stressing over such insignificant detail?

Regarding language, find an officiant that is bilingual, but don't have them translate every part. Otherwise, if will be too long. For the music, I wouldn't go crazy with banda's and rancheras, you can tell the dj to play some. But a professional dj should be able to read the crowd and change the music accordingly.

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I don't want my bridesmaids to spend hundreds on a dress. That's a waste of money, and I'm not "dictating" what type of dress they should have. My problem is that 2 of my bridesmaids want to wear a completely different color than my wedding colors (black dresses) and buy these $430 dresses knowing does are not my wedding colors and the rest of my bridesmaids cant afford them.

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Their comfort matters to me, I don't want them to do anything they don't want to do, maybe I didn't express myself right but I was simply naming examples of how they aren't cooperating. If dancing makes them uncomfortable, fine they don't have to do it. But they also disagree with a lot of the things I suggest. I dont have a bridezilla attitude, I've never force them or direct that they do to do anything, at this point all I have done is make suggestions, which like mentioned they disagree with. I understand these are the people closest to me and I should make them feel comfortable, but at the same time its my wedding day and they should try to understand that. If the roles were reversed I'd do anything they asked even if I didn't feel comfortable. Thats just the kind of friend I am.