Wedding party

Can you just have everyone? Sides don't have to be even. Or you could have the cousins (or the friends) do a reading or something. It seems like you'd rather have the friends over the cousins as bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment I like Hannah's idea. This suggesstion should make everyone involved content.

Are you closer with your 4 cousins than your best friends? I picked the people I was closest to, regardless or relation.

To clarify, you want to kick your two best friends out of my our wedding party, who you already asked, because your cousins asked if you chose your wedding party?

View Quoted Comment I have two of my closest cousins in the party. I have a total of 8 in my wedding party now. I don’t want to add to it. My side is bigger than my spouse, plus I have a huge family. Now Two of the bridesmaids are my best friends which I’m being pressured to replace with the cousins. My moms telling me if they’re asking they want to be part of it. Now my besties, they live out of state, so I rarely get to see them. So that’s topping the change and making things harder. For the two cousins that I’m questioning, two of their sisters are my maid of honors because we’re very close always together making time; whereas the two I’m in question we get together once in. Blue moon... but because I only united with them 3 years ago I’m trying to still grasp that bond. They’ve missed so much of my life, I just want them next to me. I

This also makes planning and gatherings easier... I feel like They would understand and respect it. Plus one is struggling financially, has mentioned it would be hard to come to my state. Idk

View Quoted Comment

Oh I'm sorry. I misunderstood. I thought you were questioning adding your best friends, not the other 2 cousins. In that case, I would not add the 2 cousins. Your bridal party is yours alone, your mom gets no say! Again, your bridal party should be those closest to you, regardless of relation.

I would strongly advise against removing your closest friends from your bridal party. Removing a member from a bridal party is often times a friendship ending move. If you care about these people and value their friendship, I would definitely not remove them. Either add the 2 cousins to your bridal party (making the bridesmaid count 10), give those 2 cousins a different role in your wedding, or just be honest with them that you’ve already chosen your bridal party. Tbh, those two cousins likely already know you chose to your bridal party if their sisters are your MOHs.

View Quoted Comment You should always choose people who are already incredibly close and important to you, not those who you want to become closer to. It sounds like you are considering asking your cousins because you want a stronger bond with them. If you search these forums, you will find countless posts on here of that backfiring tremendously for many other brides. Being a bridesmaid means they stand up at the altar wearing a specific dress. If they aren't bridesmaids, they can still participate in pre-wedding events and such if they want to. If you hang out with their sisters all the time and rarely see them, they have to realize that you guys aren't that close...

I would not remove anyone who you've already asked to be in your wedding party. You alone get to decide who you want to include. It is your wedding day, and you shouldn't be pressured into selecting someone who you weren't planning on. If you feel that you want to include the two cousins, you could always ask them to do a reading in the ceremony! Otherwise, if they ask again if you've chosen your wedding party, you could respond with a simple, "yes, we chose our wedding party! Now we're onto the next step of wedding planning: the save the dates!" (Or whatever you're working on next.) If they ask why they weren't selected, you could just tell them it was a tough decision, but you couldn't include everyone that you wanted to.

Keep your best friends in the wedding party. Cousins can be guests Mom needs to back down.


People forget that being a guest is a huge honor in itself. Not everyone wants or can afford to be a bridesmaid. Being a guest doesn't cost more than airfare/hotel.

Why can't you have them all in your bridal party?

First off, your wedding is almost two years away so not sure why you asked anyone to be in your bridal party already. You should have waited until closer especially since you are already having issues. Relationships change over time and you might want completely different people by the time your wedding is here. Second, you pick who you want to have. You obviously didn't ask your cousins to begin so I would stick with that otherwise you could ruin your friendships with your best friends by removing them from the wedding.