Wedding Quiz

I'm shocked at how many people said it was okay to take their own pictures and have their phone out at the ceremony!

View Quoted Comment Right?!? I am having a sign and asking my officiant to announce NO PHONES OR CAMERAS! I don’t want our pictures ruined lol

54% said it's ok to go off registry because the registry is "just a suggestion" omg -.-

I had Friend B who got engaged (and publicly announced it) the day after a Friend A's wedding. (Friend B was in the bridal party of Friend A.)

Friend A was livid.

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We were grateful that our guests did take pictures. There were certain things our photographer missed. Not big things like the rings or the kiss, but we had each person in the audience come up for at least one thing (reading, blessings, etc.), and the photographer missed a few. I wouldn't want them texting on the phone, or getting in the way of the photographer, but we were fine with them just taking photos. And our guests were sensible about such things.

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We got some things that were not on our registry. They were typically very personal things--e.g., a friend who makes knives made a high quality one for us. We appreciated not only the gift, but the thought and work behind it.

View Quoted Comment See, for me, I’d be okay with some of my people going off registry because they know us really well. One of my bridesmaids bought us an amazing picnic backpack that we love! Things like that, for me, are okay. But don’t do it if you don’t know the couple really well!

View Quoted Comment Lol at least it wasn’t at the wedding that it happened.

View Quoted Comment Everyone in the audience participated?!? You must’ve had a more intimate wedding, I can’t imagine how long my ceremony would be if all 156+ of our guests participated 😂

I think it's ok to go off registry IF and only if the gift is personalized or handmade.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, it was a very intimate wedding, only a dozen official guests including the rabbi and us. (There were some unofficial guests, because the whole synagogue staff asked if they could attend just the ceremony, and we said yes.) Instead of having only a few witnesses sign our ketubah (formal Jewish marriage contract), we had all of the guests sign as witnesses. One guest gave a reading. Seven guests did the seven blessings. We had a guest doing a video for us, and another guest handling the CD with our music. My daughter, who was my maid of honor, fluffed my train, but my son, who was our only other attendant, didn't feel capable of fluffing NotFroofy's train, so we had a designated fluffer. (Insert bad jokes here.)

It was really perfect for us. It felt more like a cooperative enterprise than like a performance.

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Aww that's awesome!

Considering how much it costs per person, I dislike how unmarried guests complain about not having a plus one. Like excuse me, we're inviting 50 people because we want an intimate celebration, not paying for people we don't even know

View Quoted Comment Exactly! If you weren’t in a relationship when I sent out the invitations then no, odds are you won’t get a plus one.

View Quoted Comment This has always been true. And current registries , computerized and available at all branches of many stores, are still relatively new. Most started 8-15 years ago. For well over a hundred years before that, only well off people registered at all. And one could only register for things like china, glass and silverware patterns, silver items, items for entertaing ( like crystal vases, candy dishes.) Plus cookbooks, a very limited number of kitchen items, and the pattern of towels or sheets, and also what your monogram would be. Always, always, for social things, a gift is the choice of the giver, not the recipient . Any gift, ever, wedding, birthday, Christmas, graduation or anniversary. People may verbally consult with others, or ask the couple, or look at a registry. Or do none of the above, and with great thoughtfulness and care, figure out themselves what they want to give another person. Registries are only a reference list for people who want suggestions. . . . Retail stores have spent a fortune convincing people, mostly brides, that they are making a shopping list and others will buy it all for you. But that is a marketing tool. Not reality. Stores love that you choose to direct 50-300 people to buy shower and wedding gift business their way. But registries only exist as suggestions, in etiquette. No one is entitled to pick their own gifts, not even royalty. A gift, by definition, is something someone else chooses to give to you. . . Unless your friends and family are too lazy to put any time or thought into a choice of gift, they can usually do pretty well finding gifts for you. Some with suggestions, some not. As they have for centuries before ****, when most registries became what they are now. Shop like it is a birthday or Christmas.. . . We have big families, and are fairly sociable. And we only registered for 10 gifts. And got all of them, some ( like dishes) from many people, to build a huge set. But we had more than 200 non-registry items of significant size ( like $50 and up, or valuable handmade). And one DUD. From someone who also gave us a pair of crystal lamps. All of the other gifts, we liked or loved, and still use , except one. Two sets of people, FI poker buddies, and his brother's, gave us TV's because they never saw one in our house. We had 4, in cabinets. No other exchanges of anything.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, it's also very annoying when people expect a plus one. One of our groomsmen, he's also our roommate, has said that he might not go if he doesn't have a plus one which is kinda ridiculous

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I love all of the history behind this! While I would probably appreciate something off my registry more than a "random" gift, depending on what it was, I have always been taught to be grateful for anything of course.

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One of your groomsmen won't come if he doesn't have a plus one?!? Is he in a relationship?

I was told that most bridal parties are typically given a plus one as a thank-you for being in the wedding, but obviously that doesn't always happen. My sister didn't do it, and only my people who have a significant other will actually be bringing their plus ones.

View Quoted Comment My SIL and my BIL wives , 11 of the 13, are all NYC born and bred, mostly Brooklyn. And they were such a hoot over some of our favorite unexpected gifts. "Two couples gave you firewood, two? What the !!!! Kind of thing is that" . To us, living a mile out on a penninsula in a lake in N NH, two months before winter, with no money, having 4 friends make racks, and cut, haul, and stack 4 cords of firewood was 4 cords we did not have to go 60 Mike's north to my parents land, to cut, haul, stack by the SUV full, like 10 trips. Similar screaming over hand made , knotted string double hammocks, two of them, until one SIL saw them similar ones in an import catalog and realized those fishermen had made us $600 worth of wonderful gift. Thousands of yards of finely crocheted and knotted comfort . . . . Knowing the couple, is everything.

View Quoted Comment Agreed! It’s one thing to not know someone and just assume they’ll like it because you do, but the thoughtful, heartfelt gifts are amazing.