Wedding Registry and Bridal shower questions

If you don’t register for physical gifts, don’t have a shower. The purpose of a shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts. If you don’t have a shower and you do have a registry, some people will send physical gifts to your home before the wedding and either bring nothing or a card to the wedding. Some people will choose not to give any physical gift and just bring a card with cash or check to the wedding. It’s not typical to bring physical gifts to wedding, especially home improvement items.

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Thank you for your response, this definitely helped clear it up for me! Guess I just have to make a decision and stick with it.

Caytlyn covered the gift questions, but I just wanted to say it's absolutely fine to say, "thanks but no thanks" to your FMIL's offer to host a shower if you don't want one. I didn't want any showers and though my MIL definitely wanted to host one (she had 4 showers herself), I said I appreciated the offer but I preferred not to have one, and it was fine.

Just remember that even if people are disappointed by your "no" as long as you're polite, you haven't done anything wrong; it's on them to manage their own feelings.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Maggie, I really appreciate that. I love my FMIL to death, she is very very involved with the wedding planning which is wonderful but at times a lot to handle. My family is the opposite and has not been involved and are also not the type to help pay for anything while my fiancé’s family is. Having them pay for another thing like a bridal shower just seems too much for me. Especially since that sort of thing is usually paid for by the brides family, not the husbands. It is difficult to say no but I agree I just have to a stick to it. I just don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or feel I am not being grateful for the offer.

So I agree with PP that you don't have to have a shower. But if people want to shower you with gifts and welcome you into the family by hosting and presenting their FDIL I say is it that bad? Explain that you don't like being in the spotlight so no special chair maybe they can do group game or no game and just a small brunch/luncheon quick 2-3 hours . To meet some of the family/friends. It's not so bad if you make a registry and add the home stuff you need/want. Some people prefer to get you gifts they actually think you want/need.