Wedding Regrets?

When we first got engaged I had thought about eloping several times. I always wanted a wedding but I never put too much thought into it. As planning progressed, I realized I only wanted about 100 people max. Not too large but not too small, either. I think we have found some great prices for vendors and decor, etc. And as I have been collecting things, I've been more and more excited about it all!

No, I don't regret the wedding I had. We had a small wedding-42 guests. I feel we spent more on our small wedding than other areas in the country who are able to host around 100 guests, or more, for the same amount-so that's probably the only thing that bothers me, if at all.

No regrets at all. We had a smaller wedding (55 guests) with a budget of $10,000 (which we only went over a tad). Our venue was inclusive which made planning a lot easier. We didn’t do much with decor besides a few signs. We agreed at the beginning of the planning process that we were going to keep it “us” and what we wanted. For instance DH is from a huge family. Usually weddings from his side are huge. We only invited family we see regularly. We also had some major health issues with two of our VIPs leading up to our wedding so that helped keep things in perspective. Linen color matching or ugly carpet doesn’t seem as important when VIPs might not be able to attend.

We don't regret a thing! In fact, my husband, who didn't see the point to having a big wedding, constantly, almost six months later, says it was the best night of his life, and he constantly replays it all in his head.

Could we have spent $30k on a house, or a month long vacation? Yes. But we have an apartment already, that we love. And being surrounded by all of our family and friends is just something that never would have happened otherwise.

No regrets. Were there some things we could have done differently if we had wanted to spend more time/money/effort? Sure. I see some details on BAMs and think, "why didn't I think of that?" But we also had a beautiful day with the people we loved, and we tell each other how lucky we were to have a day that was fun, relaxed, and meaningful. We had the day we wanted and that's all that matters.

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Oh that’s horrible. The day you dream of and all of the sudden both of you are sick but trying to make the best of it, I mean that’s what you have to do. You can’t just reschedule because you’re not feeling well and then a blizzard. Maybe the blizzard was a blessing is disguise so you both could get some long over due rest after all the planning and what not. I’d be upset if we were sick but you’re right that really puts everything into perspective over decorations or favors or food, those things are minor.

I am Nas's "twin" - we got married on the same day with 42 guests!! LOL! I would not change a thing, but I must also add that we were both 52, owned a home, cabin, etc BUT I have two kids in college plus student loans of my own, so I get the practical side of things. I would recommend:

Stay off Pinterest - makes you think every wedding is a perfect creation, they are not.

Do what you two want, within reason and budget. Stay within your budget.

Do not stress over little things like favors, programs, photo booths, chocolate fountains, etc. Don't obsess over a theme - getting married is theme enough. Do not stress over expensive invites - truly, people read them and recycle them (except for close relatives and that is a maybe)

People really care about a short and meaningful ceremony, good food and drink and a comfortable seat.

Our wedding was 42 people, 11am ceremony followed by a reception lunch with guitar music in background by a pro friend. My second, his first, no regrets. We saw our wedding as a chance for families and friends to catch up, not "I am a princess day" but that is me. Regrets? None - maybe asked more people to take informal photos - those are often the best!

H would have been happy going to a courthouse and not even mentioning it to anyone, but I wanted a big wedding. We did it in my hometown, which is a super low COLA. We spent about $17k for 175 guests (225 invited). I don't regret a penny spent, and if anything think I should have been less tight with money in a few areas. My "max budget" was $15k of our money (target of 10k), plus anything we were gifted by family. Our families ended up contributing just under $5k, so we could have spent a little more and still been at a reasonable number for us.

We invited pretty much everyone who we thought would want to come and didn't give our families any restrictions on invites. This was 100% the right decision for us and I'm so glad we chose a low COLA so we could be flexible about that, it was important to me that this not be just about "my day" or "our day" but that it was truly seen as a chance for all of our friends and family (who are scattered across the country) to catch up and celebrate and have an awesome weekend. We also hosted a welcome dinner for all out of towners (about 75 attended), included in the budget above.

The only "regrets" (very minor, I wouldn't event use the word regret, just things I maybe would have done differently) are 1. Not hiring people to clean up after (this is the only one I would DEFINITELY do differently, my mom talked me out of it, but I should have not listened to her and hired people anyway so none of our family would have had to deal with it), 2. Not caring about details and therefore missing a few detail shots since I didn't give the photog a list (this was probably worth the lack of stress from not caring, but it IS a tradeoff!), and 3. I bought my dress for $100 online and bought one that was perfectly sufficient, because dress was not a priority for me. It still isn't, but part of me thinks I should have gone to stores to try some on just to see, since I didn't love the one I had. But realistically I think I just didn't like the angles in some photos, so it's probably more of a critical eye vs. an actual dress issue.

Honestly, take a lot of time to decide what you want so that you don't have regrets. We all have different priorities and values, and budgets. You need to figure out what matters to you and fit it into what you can afford.

I would regret spending $30K on a wedding. To me, that is almost an entire year of living expenses. I can't justify that when I could throw an amazing party with much less. I would have been happy going to the courthouse, because this is my second marriage. However, it's my fiance's first, so it was very important to him to have a wedding so he could celebrate with his friends.

We aren't having an extravagant wedding, but it's true to us. Again, the advice that someone gave above about what things to worry about is good for some but not others. Our invitations are absolutely amazing and they're perfect because they set the theme. We wanted a themed wedding because to us it's more personal and less cookie cutter. If that's what floats your boat, then do it.

You need to figure out what you and your fiance want, and go from there. Or pick an honourable compromise if you can't have it all

We went towards a smaller wedding and don't regret anything. Those who ment something were there.

We spent a lot of our wedding. We live in an expensive city and chose high-end vendors and a pricey venue, so it added up quickly. Sometimes it IS painful to think about what else that money could have bought. However, I love looking at the photos from that day and thinking back to it. The memories really are wonderful - no regrets.

First wedding, we ended up with 80 people, including second cousins on the groom's side. I knew I didn't want that many in the first place, but he insisted. I won't say I regret it -- I think taking account of the preferences of both parties is important -- but I definitely would have preferred a smaller wedding.

Second wedding was a dozen people. It was a lot more fun.

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I hear you - I could not spend that much on a wedding but I would never judge or begrudge someone spending that kind of money. Their wedding, their money, their day!! It would be a kick to help plan it!!!

Only regret so far is giving in to FH'S request to have our parents attend. I really wanted a true elopement.