Wedding Rehearsal

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Our venue is a hotel. They will not allow us to use any of their spaces unless they provide the catering.

Your FMiL made an offer to pay for the rehearsal dinner, then withdrew her offer. That is that. She was probably not expecting the dinner to cost more than $500. She had no obligation to pay for this, and it sucks that you relied on her promise, but you should never budget using money you don't actually have. Her finances are not relevant.


I'd skip the rehearsal and see if the officiant will give you a refund. The hotel's rule that you have to use their catering is a bit exorbitant. That would have turned me off from having the rehearsal there in the first place.
If you can't get a refund from the officiant, do the rehearsal with just you and your FH at a different location. Email your bridal party the lineup and a run through of the rehearsal. Asking people to drive 1.5 hours just for a rehearsal when they have to make that same drive the next day seems like a lot.
If you're staying at a hotel, you could to the rehearsal in your room, or a park, and go to a restaurant after.

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The rehearsal is at our venue which is a hotel. They won't allow us to use one of their spaces unless they provide the catering. The venue is about 1.5 hours from our family and friends so unfortunately having it at their house isn't doable. I would have to contact a local community center to see the cost.

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Gotcha, unfortunately Airbnb's large gathering ban is still in effect. They only allow groups of 16 and under at this time. I wasn't able to find anything regarding VRBO though.

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She said she would give us up to $1,500 for the rehearsal dinner. I guess we thought we could count on her since she is my fiancé's mother after all.

The contract with the officiant specifically says that all money is non-refundable. Our venue is a hotel so the bridal party was planning on staying overnight rather than driving to and from the venue twice. I know some have already booked their rooms.

View Quoted Comment Local community centers are usually very inexpensive to rent. Plus they already have tables and chairs

View Quoted Comment Until you have the money in hand, always plan like you don't have it. That applies to future events as well. Family can be very weird about promises and dynamics. Being a blood relative doesn't mean much of anything to some people.

You can try a local restaurant or a pavilion at a park.

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The place is a restaurant and the cheapest one with a private room that we have been able to find. Our venue is in the middle of a city so I'm not sure where the closest park is, but I can definitely look into it. We aren't overly familiar with the area. We picked it because it was halfway in between both of our families.

I'd try to have it in a park. Your wedding is in August so hopefully the weather will be nice outdoors. Order some pizzas and there you go!

IMHO, she needs to pay up. It's not fair for her to spend on one child and not the other, especially for your special day. I'd ask your venue for help, they might offer their space or know of a space near by that could help in a pinch and on a budget!

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No, it is not an option. She has not exhausted all options - she can still cancel the rehearsal, for example. This is not being caused by COVID, and COVID does not give people a blanket excuse to be rude because it makes life easier for them.

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You don't need a fully private room, you just need to host food and drink appropriate to the time of day. How about a local pizza joint (for example) that will let you use a few long tables or table groupings?