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Alessandra
Just Said Yes December 2021

Wedding Right At Christmas

Alessandra, on May 7, 2019 at 3:37 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 23

We are planning for our wedding to be 2 days before Christmas and are worried that most of our guests wont be able to make it or just plan on not going because its a holiday. How would you handle the stress?

December 23, 2021

23 Comments

Latest activity by Jossor, on October 27, 2023 at 4:20 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would pick a different date.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    If it is stressing you, then would you consider changing y'all's date? Y'all can still have a Christmas wedding, but have it earlier in the month.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    Just don't stress. Either they will come or they won't. There's no sense in stressing about it..especially over two years out. If you're wanting more to attend, look into changing the date. If you want the date, you'll have to "deal" with people not attending. I know for me, Christmas is already a busy time without a wedding. I probably wouldn't be able to be in a wedding that close to Christmas either (like a bridesmaid). If the wedding was close to me, I would probably attend, but if it's like 2+ hours away.. I most likely would decline.

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  • Alessandra
    Just Said Yes December 2021
    Alessandra ·
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    I would if it wasn't as special to us.

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  • Christine
    Expert September 2020
    Christine ·
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    You're asking how you should handle your stress about people not being able to come to your wedding? Honestly if you do think that it will bother you that people won't attend, I would pick a different date. You have about two and a half years so there's plenty of time! There are unfortunately a lot of people who wouldn't be able to come to a wedding right before Christmas due to family obligations or travel costs, so if you do want your wedding on December 23rd then you should just mentally prepare yourself to have very few people be able to come. I wouldn't have a Christmas wedding unless you know you're the type of person who can handle it if most of your invited guests don't attend.

    Can I ask what made you pick that particular date? Is it a special anniversary for you and your future spouse?

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    What's more special, a date on a calendar or your loved ones being able to attend? I understand the sentiment behind certain dates, but whatever date you choose is going to be significant since it's your wedding date.

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  • Kristen
    VIP June 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Unfortunately low guest count is just a part of having a wedding that close to a holiday. One of my friend got married this past Dec. 22nd and I was in the wedding. 175 invited, 84 'yes' RSVPs, 72 total in attendance. She was very dissapointed but many guests were unable to attend due to it being too far away to accommodate within their holiday plans.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    If you are worried people won't come, I would move your date. The day you get married on will be special regardless of it had any prior meaning to you. August 11th used to mean nothing to me, and now it signifies the best day ever. We would likely decline. Holidays are already extremely stressful with trying to accommodate my family and H's family and I can't imagine adding anything else in.

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  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    I would choose a different date thts exactly what is going to happen. Most families are cooking big meals are spending time with family members. My FH birthday is Christmas Eve and we expected a lot to show up for his gathering this past year luckily we already had a house full of kids, siblings, and grandkids bc only one couple showed up. Also people tend to be broke around that time.

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  • Alessandra
    Just Said Yes December 2021
    Alessandra ·
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    It is a special anniversary. My fiance was going on and said something silly. When he went to correct himself he said "Well that's why you married me!". Makes it all worth it.

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  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
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    Unfortunately, if you chose a date that close to a major holiday people most likely won’t be able to attend. I know I wouldn’t be able to attend a wedding that close to Christmas with all the traveling and getting last minute stuff done. Just don’t stress about it because it seems like your set with the date, just expect not many people to show up.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Sadly, I’d expect this kind of turnout. I’d attend a wedding the first week of Dec, or NYE, but not in between. Sad for your friend.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    How many guests are you inviting? If immediate families & wedding party, you may be ok but check with them before booking your date. I do fear a low turn-out if you’re inviting more than immediate family.

    If the date is super-important why not a family-only wedding or elopement? Then host a larger reception after the holidays.
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  • Alessandra
    Just Said Yes December 2021
    Alessandra ·
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    I like your idea. Definitely main family is most of the guests. 60 people
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I attended a wedding last year 2 days after Christmas and I felt so horrible for the bride - there were SO many no shows due to holidays and weather. I personally would rather have everyone there that is meaningful to me than choose a difficult date because of an arbitrary anniversary. But that's just me. I agree with Caytlyn that whatever date you get married will be special and meaningful because it's the date you got married.

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    You really only have two options:
    1. Change the date
    2. Accept you may have an above average decline rate

    It doesn’t sound like you’re willing to change the date so you need to come to terms with people not attending. I host Christmas at my home and I start prepping for the holiday days before because we always have plans on Christmas eve.
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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    If you're located somewhere where the weather is bad in the winter, that's something you'd have to consider. I wouldnt drive over any shady mountain passes for a wedding. Also, a lot of families, mine included, do multiple Christmases. I've had Christmas with FH family the last 3 or 4 years on the 23rd. I would try and come up with a different special day, or elope that day and have a reception later.
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  • B
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
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    Absolutely agree with the options.

    We host Christmas Eve dinner every year, so unless it was a sibling getting married, we most likely wouldn't attend a wedding on 12/23.

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  • Jennifer
    Expert October 2019
    Jennifer ·
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    Personally, I would talk to the people you most want to attend and gauge their interest. Then you have to weigh if the date means more than the people who seem reticent. If the date is the most important thing, just accept that as your choice and plan for a more intimate wedding. If the people are more important, maybe have your wedding on the meaningful day, but do a separate reception after the holidays are over?
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  • Deirdre
    Super March 2018
    Deirdre ·
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    Are you already married and trying to keep the same date? I'm a little confused by your statement because it implies you have a fiance and that you are also already married. If it's jut the first time he indicated that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, I agree that's special, but not something I would choose a wedding date over. My H made a comment like that on Super Bowl Sunday. I would never have my wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. As all PP, you probably won't have a lot of people attend that close to Christmas. Especially if your guests have kids, they're going to be getting ready for Santa to come and all that stuff. You can still celebrate the date as something special, but I would personally choose a wedding date I thought more people could attend. If you do go with the date, I think expecting 60 people to attend is unrealistic. I would say have a smaller ceremony with immediate family only. I would probably only go to a wedding that date if it were for a member of my immediate family. You can poll some of your other family and friends to see if they would be willing to forgo their typical holiday plans for your wedding, but it will be dependent on their families and situations. It's fine to go with that date, but then you can't stress if no one can come or be in your BP if you are planning to have one. Unless, a lot of people you know are Jewish. That may make it easier. Good luck.

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