Wedding rings

The ring is a gift to him, so I don’t think it’s at all inconsiderate, but I wouldn’t have any expectations of him wearing it.

It might be nice for things like the photos or videographer if you’re having any of those on your wedding.

It sounds like you are buying it for the wrong reasons - to force him to wear it everywhere except the gym. You could get it for him but don’t be upset when he doesn’t want to wear it. Why are you set on him wearing a symbolic band? You should have a conversation to level out expectations and needs.

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I don't feel like my post insinuated that I would force him to do anything, I just think he would appreciate a nice band for some events. The gold band is symbolic for us biblically; I think he is more or less just trying to be simple in not wanting to add any unnecessary expense!

I think a good band for the ceremony (pictures) and maybe nice/special occasions is fine. And then he can wear a silicone one daily. If he’s stated he doesn’t want one I wouldn’t expect him to wear the gold one very much.
Good bands aren’t expensive I don’t think.

Can you reframe it to him as a band for occasions as a couple where you’ll dress up, work events., etc?
My fh plans to wear his “socially” but not daily. So I’m getting a nice gold band.

Enso makes a gold colored silicone ring. https://ensorings.com/products/elements-classic-silicone-ring-gold


Has he tried on rings? These days there are matte finishes and other materials if he’s not fond of the polished gold we remember of our parents’ bands. Depending on how sentimental you two are, his ring is one of the few physical momentos that he will take away from your wedding day, so you/he may want to consider the durability as well. Since you are offering to gift him both types of bands, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

I would honor his request for a silicone ring. Men generally are not vocal about their wishes so if he has expressed that silicone is his preference, it could backfire for you to get the gold ring, even if that is not your intention. Some men don't wear jewelry for comfort reasons and others for safety. Him not wearing it does not mean that he isn't faithful to you.

Before you spend your money, talk to him and try to see where he is coming from and make sure you are on the same page without any pressure.

That’s a tough one. You know him better than the rest of us. I would think about how often he would wear it. In addition I personally say go for it, because those rubber rings don’t last forever. This would be something that he could have and pass down if you plan or want to have children. This would also be good for pictures for the wedding.

So, DH wanted a Tungsten ring, which can be really gorgeous, but they are also dangerous - he can't wear it when he's working, because it's *literally too hard to cut off* if something goes wrong.

He bought silicon rings to wear for work and other manual activity.

The silicon rings are nice rings, but they are visibly different from most rings. If your FH really wants them, I'd have him order some, and try them on. He will see that they are great for casual and everyday wear, but not for "nicer" occasions. I think your solution of a plain band (in gold or silver or something like that), will allow him to have options, without feeling like it's an overwhelming piece of jewelry.

I'm buying my fiance a nice ring and a silicone ring for work. I say it's not inconsiderate to buy him a nice ring. It is a gift after all.

No not inconsiderate at all, very thoughtful actually if you! Most guys are simple but no guy will ever be mad about his wife getting him a nice ring that he will have forever.

Are you open to alternatives that aren't a traditional gold band? My fiancée wears a silicone band as her engagement ring, and plans to use them post-wedding from time to time, but when we were shopping for bands, she didn't want something super traditional. We opted for a petrified wood and titanium option, which still looks really nice, and gives that "special occasion" feeling, but isn't traditional. Might be worth researching alternatives if that might be a better fit for him?

I think it would be odd to get him a gift that you fully KNOW he doesn’t want. So, how about giving him something else that you know he truly wants, he will use or something that he needs. Also, what would make a gold band more “symbolic“ than the silicone one that he prefers?

I should have clarified! My fiancé and I are in agreement with the symbolism of the gold band. He does want it, but doesn't want to burden me with buying an expensive band for him when he can just use silicone. I think he is just trying to be simple and not "put me out". I know that he would greatly appreciate the band, and likely wear it often!

Thank you guys for all of the feedback!

I think it sounds like he does want it, but doesn't want it to affect you, so if you can afford it then go ahead.

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That's exactly how my fiancé feels too. He's fine with wearing a cheap silicone one all the time. I told him that it's attractive to see a man with a nice wedding band and that I would prefer he wear the real metal one for all other times except work (he's a nurse) and the gym. There's something to be said about a man in a nice shiny wedding band. I don't think the silicone compares. I know everybody's different and call me high maintenance, but I want my man in a nice band!

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No, I am the same way! My fiancé has tried on a friend's gold wedding band at dinner and it just does something to me. I think he looks so nice with a gold wedding band on his finger. The silicone will be nice to wear casually, but I love a nice band!

I feel like if it is a gift then it isn't inconsiderate at all. It's not like you would not be getting what he wants but you're gifting him something nice as well. Even if he never wears it other than wedding day at least he has it if he wants to dress up. Plus I like the comments about photos/videos because you might like the look of the gold band over the silicone one in those photos.

My husband has a beautiful tungsten band I gave him at our ceremony (we picked our bands out together) but I have also ordered him a set of silicone bands to wear at his job and for outdoor activities, for safety reasons (his and the rings!)