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Haley
Savvy May 2023

Wedding Rsvp’s who don’t respond?

Haley, on April 25, 2023 at 12:38 PM Posted in Planning 0 9
Hi!
How do you handle guests who don’t RSVP? And what do you do if they show up despite giving no answer?
My invitation stated RSVP’s were due 4/24 but the final headcount is really due on 4/28 so I began texting those I haven’t heard from yet. Most responded but I have a good amount that still ignored my text. Should I attempt to call/text them one last time or automatically put them down as a no? I really don’t want to pay for extra chairs in case they show up.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on April 26, 2023 at 3:13 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I would reach out one more time and let them know if you haven't heard from them by tomorrow night, you'll have to mark them down as a no.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I would call them rather than texting them. Like you have already experienced, it's easier to ignore texts than it is to ignore a phone call. If they don't answer, I would leave a message letting them know that if you don't hear back from them by the end of the day you'll be marking them as not attending therefore there won't be space for them if they decide to show up.

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  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Agree with what Veronica said. Some of our silent guests we just had to call them. If it goes to voicemail, I also agree you should politely let them know that they will get counted as a “no” if you don’t hear back.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I agree that you may have better luck calling them. If they don't answer, leave a voicemail (and maybe also send a follow-up text) saying that if you don't have an answer by end of day tomorrow, then you'll have to count them as a no.
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  • Haley
    Savvy May 2023
    Haley ·
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    I think this is probably the best course of action. I appreciate your suggestion!
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  • mrsladyallen
    Just Said Yes April 2010
    mrsladyallen ·
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    Set a stern deadline maybe give them a call especially the senior citizens and you don’t give any response don’t count them in your final head count and have your planner know not to let those who didn’t rsvp not to let them in
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  • C
    CM ·
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    I would talk to your venue. That's not a lot of buffer time you've built in. If RSVPs are due a month ahead, which is standard, it's inevitable that there will be some that need to be chased down. Some may have never even received an invitation. If your wedding is not for 3+ weeks, it's possible the venue would be willing to give you some additional time before you need to actually guarantee, ie pay for, numbers. Many places can add a handful of additional replies last minute so that's also something else to consider.

    I'd call them or a partner, contact them on social media by private message, or even attempt to reach them at work, or with family, if necessary. I would not be comfortable with the possibility of someone just showing up. Try calling at various times of the day. Unfortunately, anyone who ignores or misses your earlier message could also easily ignore or miss a message that says you'll count them as a "no."

    In the end, your approach can vary depending on the relationship and the specific circumstances. There are some people I'd welcome no matter what if they were able to make it, even last minute. and others who would get the "count them as a no" message, assuming they ever hear or see it.

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  • Pat
    Rockstar May 2023
    Pat ·
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    Definitely Call, as said by previous folks it's easy to ignore a text. (learned the hard way) Jacks gave me a fabulous line, and I used it with a little tweaking for those that DID answer the phone call: "having not heard from you, I will put you down as not attending. Unfortunately we won't be able to accommodate unannounced guests and the caterer numbers will be final" Oh, and just for a GOOD laugh to help ease your stress, a friend of mine sent me this ..........

    Wedding Rsvp’s who don’t respond? 1

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Ha ha, I came here to give that line! OP, yes, I would make one last and final attempt to contact them. If you can't make it clear they are a "not attending" as far as you're concerned.

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