Wedding Ruined

I don't understand why you let the comment affect you that way? Is it cause you felt some of it was based it truth?

If I were you I'd keep your plans and have the wedding you wanted. How does your FH feel about the situation?

I agree with PP. I would keep all the plans you've wanted and worked hard for.

I would just tell him you value his opinion, but it's your wedding day. You didn't get your dream wedding day with his father. If he doesn't support you, he doesn't have to come.

I honestly wouldn't let one person get in the way of the wedding you always dreamed of. I understand it was your son and it hurt to hear, but I wouldn't let his words have that much power over you. If you and your fiance were happy with the plans and you could afford the wedding you had planned I would go ahead and have the wedding you have always wanted. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't cancel your wedding plans, if it isn't too late. You absolutely should have the wedding of your dreams. Your son might just be going through something, or still feeling a certain way about you and his father's divorce...and that made him project negatively towards you. Assuming he still has ill feelings about you & his father, to him he may think that it is silly for you to be planning a wedding with someone new. That doesn't mean he's right, and that doesn't make his actions right. If I were you, I would reach out to him and see if y'all can meet for a heart to heart. Let him know how his comments made you feel, let him know that weddings are reserved for younger people only, and ask him what is "really" going on, because you don't feel as if you were going overboard. I really hope it all works out for you, and you do deserve a nice wedding. Our children just don't always see things the way we do, or know all of our truths, and are quick to unfairly project anger/judgement towards us....because they only know you as mom and probably have a hard time thinking of you as a woman with her own life.

I'm sorry that you were hurt by what your son said, but I also think you overreacted by cancelling the wedding. That was your choice and can't be put on him. I hope you have time to change your mind back and reinstate your wedding plans.

That said, there is nothing at all wrong with courthouse weddings. They can still be lovely celebrations. This experience will be what you and your fiance make of it. No more, no less.

I'm really not sure why you let your son make that decision for you. His comments were rude and totally uncalled for, but there's absolutely no reason for him to "ruin" it. It's not his wedding and if you are planning and paying then you can do whatever you want.

I'd try to keep your plans and go about the wedding like you wanted. Being hurt by his words are one thing, reacting and totally cancelling your whole wedding over 1 persons opinion is another. Unless you feel like he was right...

Is there more to his reaction than you've said so far? You said " all the other details, I was consulting with my sons and their wives and very much valued and welcomed all their help" and now he's saying it's out of control and too expensive. Is this because they are helping financially? Or simply because they don't believe you can afford the wedding you had planned. As far as your dress, is his problem that you spent too much, or it's not well suited for you or does he just have some kind or stupid idea of what a second marriage ceremony should be? I have two grown sons also, and one of them can be this way, just suddenly exploding with opinions he was trying to keep to himself. I never let him get away with this, he has to be specific and clear about what he sees as a poor choice and then he has to let me give him my side. And then I still make up my own mind about the worth and value of my choice.

I think you need to give us a little more detail about exactly what was a fiasco and why he's saying it's too expensive. Then we can help you come up with a response that allows you to be satisfied planning the wedding you want and can afford.

I was married for 20 years. We have 3 kids. My fiancee has 1 son. Our four kids are our wedding party. My ex doesn't want to know anything about my future wedding with my fiancee. That is understandable. But even he isn't rude or mean about it. Your adult son is being straight- up mean.

As a "woman of age", I can't understand why you would let mean comments from your son destroy your dream wedding. You are making the choice to allow his comments to take your dream. He didn't do that to you, you made the choice to put away your books and cancel your plans. If that choice devastates you, make a new choice to get those books back out and plan your dream wedding. No one has the power to take it from you. It's for you to choose to make your dream happen.

That's a tough situation. I would keep your wedding plans as you had planned, it seems you've waited a long time to have the wedding of your dreams. I would also see if your son would sit down and have a conversation and see if he can explain his feelings. Hopefully you can work through this with your son and have a beautiful wedding. Good luck