Wedding Ruined

I totally understand how your son got you so upset. My son will be 12 when I marry next year, and I would be heartbroken if he decided one day that he was against it. I can't even imagine how awful that was for you. I do wonder why all of a sudden he had a change of heart. Was it just one of your boys or all three who feel that way? You said you had been married for 31 years, but did not say how old your kids are. Sometimes boys are still very immature well into their 20s, and can still be influenced by others, such as their fathers. I don't know if you have already, but I would try and speak with him about his text to you. It sounds like it was a shock to you, and since your plans don't sound unreasonable, I would want to know if there was something else behind it. Honestly, as a mother, I don't know how that wouldn't upset you, and think you have the right to be upset. However, you also are still his mother and unless you are medically or mentally fragile, he does not get to tell his mother what to do! So talk to your boy, figure out what his problem is, and let him know you are still going to have your happily ever after.

So sorry, but I feel like you aren't providing us with the whole story. This just doesn't make sense. Why in the world would cancel your entire wedding over ONE comment? That makes absolutely no sense and seems like an incredibly dramatic overreaction.

If your co-workers and friends ask for pictures and details of the day, tell the truth- that YOU changed your mind and decided to have a smaller ceremony. Because that IS what happened here. YOU decided to let ONE comment change ALL of YOUR plans. Unless there are significant details that were left out of your original post, this is what your situation boils down to: You let your son's comment derail your day, probably hoped that in doing so he would take back what he said, he didn't take it back, and now you regret that you changed all your plans and are upset about it.

Given that you already have one wedding ceremony associated with so many bad memories and resentment, it doesn't seem logical or rational that you would let one comment derail another- but the fact that you did HAS BEEN YOUR CHOICE. At the end of the day, you need to take ownership of that choice and either proceed with your original plan or commit to your new plan and make the best of either situation and stop letting someone else's opinion matter so much to you. Caring so much about what someone else thinks is a complete recipe for an unhappy day/life.

I think you overreacted. First, your son didn't have the decency to call and tell you how he feels. Why are you placing so much weight on your son's opinion when he didn't even have the courage to come and speak to you directly? He sent you a text message. He acted childishly, and then you reacted childishly... This might be tough to hear, but you made yourself a martyr by punishing yourself and taking away your own dream wedding yourself because of a text message.

You don't need to explain your hardships or justify your decisions. You were happy and excited for yourself, and someone was rude enough to rain on your parade. But you can still have your dream wedding. If you want it, go for it. And tell your son that you deserve way more than a text message, because you do.